This is a blog post about Spiritual Maturity in the setting of people who are not on the same vibration as you.
It is a comfort to the reader.
I will give my example:
My sister Vanessa is getting married this June. It is actually on the same weekend as my wedding was in 1988, my anniversary is the 18th, hers is the 17th.
In talking with her, on the phone weeks ago, she didn't mention anything about me being a bridesmaid.
It didn't even cross her mind to ask me or my sister, or even, the sister of her fiancé.
I told her, with love, she didn't need to ask me, but to save her butt, she better ask her sister-in-law, even if she will be eight months pregnant, and let HER be the one to say no--it's protocol.
She is marrying into a Cuban-Italian family. Ours is Sicilian.
But it's been eating at me, why my own sister Didn't Ask, Didn't THINK to Ask, and basically, Doesn't Even Care About Me.
You see, a wedding is where you 'show the world' and she is de-facto excluding me as her close relative to the world, whether she is intending it or not...I am her sister and sisters stand up in weddings for each other. That's the way it is.
Today she is going to ask Anthony to be an usher, not a groomsman...I will leave it up to him, although I think he will be delighted and will say 'yes'.
I asked my mom, 'what is going on with her?'
Mom covered for her. "It's her wedding, she's not a child, it's modern times, I told her she can do it HER way'.
And she is.
In front of the world, everyone will see her choices, her values, and her 'world' which is inside her head and her heart.
I am fourteen years older. She did invite me to her wedding dress day, where she tried them on.
I had tears in my eyes when I saw her in the most beautiful one...
Here's why...and why it's okay that she Doesn't Know, but God Does Know...
Vanessa can't SEE the times I held her when she was an infant and was crying through the night and mom and dad were too exhausted to pick her up. I did this many a time, a ninth grader, with honors courses in school, and I too needed my sleep. I would comfort her and hold her in my arms the poor thing. I couldn't ignore her cries.
Vanessa can't SEE that I had to leave the house to go to college when she was three, and I couldn't be around any more, like I was when she was a tot, and we would watch Benny Hill together when I'd come home from school, when we would talk about everything she loved, and we would enjoy each other.
Vanessa can't SEE the thousand dollars I gave her when she was little, for college, and never said a word when it disappeared to wherever when mom and dad were in tough financial times.
Vanessa SAW that I was away, and working hard in College, and medical school, and fellowship, and academic medicine...but she didn't SEE the thousands of people I helped in my absence from her.
Vanessa SAW we had a couple of wonderful years around the time of my divorce, where she took me into her social circle, and I would go out with her and her friends...but she didn't SEE it was the best years of my life, and I am eternally grateful to her for it. What she didn't SEE is with motherhood, I had to make a choice and let that life go...and I didn't look back.
Vanessa knows today what it's like to work full-time, and have long hours, and work weekends. What she doesn't know, and didn't see, is all the times I asked her to 'help watch Anthony' I paid her twice as much as the going rate or more to help her out while she was struggling through hard times, didn't have the money, and not make it look like charity to her.
Vanessa can't SEE how this ceremony is just a day, a special day, but how in Life our loved ones are only with us a short time, and relationships are fragile and to be cherished. What I see, is our relationship has suffered not only the test of time, but also, the age difference as souls, and our choices led us to entirely different paths. What she can't SEE, is I am giving up vacation--I had a whole week starting with the 17th--and fortunately I hadn't made plans yet. It's going to be a 'stay-cation' to honor her. I can't book a flight for less than a week, it doesn't make sense.
The other times, she couldn't SEE, I've mentioned--briefly, Hawaii, Europe--and I won't mention them here again, except to note I had a good heart, filled with love for her, and truly went out of my way...only to be ignored and unappreciated...and to be told, 'these are modern times, and I told her to do what SHE wants' by my mom...then and now.
But God knows my heart.
What is Right is to share her joy, and that of her new husband, my new brother-in-law, and to let everything go. Because to ignore Love is to ignore Life Itself...and to have Grace in all situations is a give Divine Creator is more than willing to give, if only you should ask for it. She might have ignored me, and in return I turn the other cheek and I Bless It, the marriage, I Bless HER and all her choices...
And God SEES all!
God's love is Eternal and by God I mean Divine Creator, both Divine Father and Divine Mother.
It makes sense that people on different 'trajectories' would not 'relate', at least not of 'the heart'...and for some, this indifference to the feelings causes pain, and sadness, as a lesson to all just how loving God is, both to them to allow them the freedom to make choices any way they wish, and to us the recipients of the painful choices, the ignored, the unappreciated, the 'not close', to comfort and console us, for Love is Never Wasted, and God both sees and knows the kindness and compassion and grace in which we live, how we treat ALL people, family or not, each and every single day we walk the planet on which we live.
I want you to remember this.
The old saying, 'this person is not worth your tears, because the one who is would never make you cry' is true.
And with Creator, and the New Earth, the only tears you are going to ever cry are going to be ones of relief at fully appreciating the LOVE all of Creation has for YOU...no matter what any of your 'classmates' here on Gaia, related or not, do...and how it affects you.
God loves--both them and you!
And one day, like it or not, we are going to be done with this illusion, everything will make sense, and the more you strive to be the bigger person, the better it will be for you in the long run.
Have hope! Have faith! And enjoy the LOVE Divine Creator of All That Is has for YOU!
Enjoy it NOW!
Aloha and Mahalos,