It's been a long three days--it feels like seven!
I will condense to just the highlights for you so we can catch up.
Carla's Will Part One
Anthony had his school play on Monday. I had mentioned before about the risk of my being late for it, enough to mention it to my colleagues last Friday. I even got someone as 'backup' for me. But they left early. They thought I would go home.
When I am at the surgery center, I can't go home until I check in with the Main O.R. charge nurse. She wanted me to check with the person at the Surgery Center one call above me before I went home. As she said, 'If it's okay with her you can go'.
We ordinarily do not relieve one another like this at the Surgery Center. Your lineup of cases is yours until it's done.
But I called, and sure enough, the doctor wanted to go home to her children. I said, 'I'm not sure we do it like this here, but I will relieve you.' (there was a case and the extra hour for free to watch over the surgery center recovery room as the token doc until your patient goes home. She didn't want to do it.)
Then I added, 'I might miss my son's play though if I do.'
She said, 'That's okay, it's not worth it. Just go home.'
The play was excellent. His aunt and uncle (my niece's parents) surprised him by coming to watch his play.
Carla's Will Part Two
I have been having it out with my guides. Big time. I tell them, 'It's HARD being incarnate down here. I'm lonely! I might be married to you, back home, but down here? I don't like being on my own every day. I want to be like the others and have someone special just for me.'
It's been difficult. I'm super sleepy, but at four in the morning, I'm in my meditation space. Nothing is happening. They are like, 'Carla, WHY are you here? WHAT are you doing?!' and I'm saying, 'It's the ONLY thing I can do to get back HOME! I don't care!'
Late at night, again, all wrapped in my beautiful knits and handmade items--I'm at it. 'This is HARD! I want to go HOME!'
Finally, on Monday Afternoon, I said, 'I NEED some good Divine Masculine to balance my energies!'
(we had been through the arguments where they said, 'we sent you people' and I said, 'they weren't RIGHT--energy-wise--for me.')
So I got two Divine Healing Codes new, and they worked--the one for me. I'll post them soon but not right this minute.
This morning when I woke up in my hospital bed in the recovery room--tired from a long night--my first thought was Ross, Good Morning!
My chest was filled with warmth, and love from him. I could feel his happiness at my thoughtfulness.
We are making our way through.
I also have on my promise ring. It's new. It just arrived a few minutes ago. They told me I could spend a certain amount on something from them. I've spent half--I found good deals--and was able to buy both a ring and a bracelet to help me with my 'Interchangeable Husbands'...that's what they call it.
They have Montana Yogo Sapphires and are more beautiful and sparkling than anything I have ever seen. They are also more rare than diamonds.
Shhhh! ; )
I finished my forms. My reapplication packets. They were GRUELING. I was so mad and irritated I told Anthony (we were watching a ball game at the time while I had papers all over the couch and kept going upstairs to find more forms and print things out) 'why don't they just chip me like a dog and get it over with?!'
I had to prove--just like I did when I finished my residency--I am board certified (certificate), licensed (California and DEA), insured, already working as a doctor (activity sheet), physically able to do the work (TB test, Flu shot, and attestation forms), not going to violate any hospital policy (bylaws and HIPAA), and even where I had trained and who was my residency program director.
One packet was sixty pages (I had to number them, 1/60, 2/60, etc for the FAX). The other was fifty-two.
I have wanted to make blintzes for breakfast for about two weeks. Even though Anthony and I were in a hurry, for breakfast yesterday we made lemon ricotta blintzes. They were fantastic! And I was on time for work.
It felt SO nice to have my creativity flowing through me, doing something I enjoy and looked forward to as an 'adventure in the kitchen'--even though I had to really concentrate and focus and block out all distractions. It felt wonderful to be alive again.
Last night, my surgeon complained about how much HE hates having to do the reappointment every two years. He didn't know about my own struggles with my reappointment packets.
And he had one more woe. There had been a reason to change bank accounts. Well, his Medicare payments go into the old one. He notified Medicare of the switch. Medicare had questions. They gave him one week to respond. Well, he's always operating! He missed it. Now he must reapply to be paid by them from step one, which will be a delay for six months. Although he will be paid for his work now in the future--provided there are no more surprises!--because of the six month delay with non guarantees it will end the misunderstanding between him and Medicare--he is working on patients now essentially for free. Two of the three cases he did last night with me, he was not paid--because of the Medicare status.
Carla's Will Part Four
She's at it again. I'm not even going to post the link. Someone I have posted about before is putting up channeled messages again from Yeshua and Mary Magdalen.
I went straight to the top.
Divine Father, in response to my question of 'why is she doing this?!'--shrugged and said, 'I don't know.'
He asked me if I can forgive?
I said, 'Yes. Even though I don't want to, I will. I forgive.'
He quizzed me on my logic. I said, flatly, 'It's my only chess move I have left, so I will take it.'
I also told him I forgive only a little, the bare minimum--it's not a lot and not at all warm and fuzzy from my heart. With other people I forgive more.
He asked me how it makes me feel, to see these 'messages'.
I told him it makes me feel rejected, and I flashed an image of Ross in his 'not good choices' years.
Both after the 'I forgive only a little as a chess move' and the 'I feel rejected' Divine Father called all my guides/Council, and they were surprised I had such feelings, and conferred amongst themselves so I couldn't hear.
Ross came. Here I am in my closet, in my meditation space, refusing to budge until I get some answers on how this is permitted when I specifically ASKED for it not to happen again?
http://ronahead.com/2016/06/16/going-forgive-council/ 'Many are they who in trying to do their best actually do more harm than good. But it DOESN'T stain their souls.'
(this one helped too).
This soul in question, came to Ross and me, and offered me a flower that looked just like the one on the cupcake but had a stem. Ross told me to take it. I didn't want to. But I did.
I explained very politely, how I never sounded like that in my whole life, in any of my incarnations, and I don't understand why all the lofty and expansive wording these messages always are filled with is there in the first place?
There was a discussion between us three, about my Higher Self, my fake Higher Self, and the splinter the fake one made without permission from me. I didn't want the splinter to merge. The splinter was shocked and asked why?
I said, 'I work really hard to maintain my energies.' I didn't want it to mix. Angered, the splinter said, 'what makes you think I don't work hard?!'
I could see how such channeled messages attract attention and business, which is the sole means of support for this person. I softened and I understood.
I also saw, in my meditation space, with Ross at my side, how I work with crystals like an alchemist, and I work with them a great deal...with knowledge from past lifetimes. I can see my own 'credentials' all around me, everywhere I go, and that is comforting to know.
Ross had me say how the channeled messages make me feel?And he shared how it feel: to him, (these channeled messages) it ties him back to the past, which is uncomfortable, because he would like to move forward and experience something new.
There was a lull, and I was contacted while I was doing the dishes. The same one wanted to talk to me. I finished every last pot, plate, and spoon before I lay on the couch to listen.
I didn't want to hear their story. This person also demanded an explanation of how I could forgive, and not want to be all close and buddy buddy with them? I emphasized again how although this person technically WAS 'me', because of the link through the fake Higher Self, the only requirement as a galactic is to be 'friendly and polite'--and I agreed to be 'cordial'. I had other interests and avenues of growth to explore. There was no reason for me to go back any more to explore this.
She blurted out, 'I did it because I wanted to be close to you!' (the plural you, as in me and Ross).
I didn't even respond. Forgiven is forgiven. A soul can only take so much. There wasn't even a promise on their part to never do it again. In summary, there was a lack of common agreement between us. Neither one got what they wanted. It's not a win-win. It's not a lose-lose. It's a meh-meh...sort of a whatever...
Divine Father really wanted me to talk about the whole broad spectrum on the Forgiveness Scale--how unwilling as I was, I agreed to do the basic minimum 'forgive'. It didn't mean I had to be all chummy when that meant ignoring my hurt feelings and acting like they never happened. It just meant I was willing to let it go, and allow the emotions time to heal.
He wants you to know you can do this too. It's not all or nothing in the Forgiveness Department. You have some say, and your heart isn't going to swell up with love and feel wonderful sometimes. You will feel a LITTLE love, but it doesn't have to be all fuzzy and warm to qualify as true unconditional love and forgiveness.
I can acknowledge the Divine Spark for what it is, the choices for what they are, and not feel like I am obligated to go three steps back in my own development to 'straighten things out'. It's enough. And I am moving on.
I also see how there is overwhelming evidence for my own wellbeing...and I can be calm and relax once more as if it never happened.
Carla is learning to heal. Carla is learning to express herself in Galactic ways. Carla is learning how to become who she is, and to trust in the process...and that her soul signature 'vibration' cannot be faked, not by anyone.
I hold Carla in my heart, and Carla is progressing in terms of our relationship.
For example, on the drive to see Anthony in his play, Carla called out, 'To ALL of my husbands, I'm so sorry I forgot to mention it to you earlier, but if you have time, would you please attend the performance of this play?'
I was there.
I also gave a little gift to Carla, the vision of a cloud ship barely cloaked, flying low to the horizon, just over the block next to the school, right after the show, as confirmation we had answered her request.
Carla asks me all the time how is it I am not jealous? What with her being like she is--super jealous of me--and my not being jealous of her in any way?
That is because I am OUTSIDE the Illusion.
Carla is WORKING her way outside of it. There are some ties to it still in her thought processes, and much pain I had caused deep in her spirit, which needs to be worked out as well.
I am sorry for this pain. It is a fact that the others (three and one half, not that much) are also experts in healing this kind of wound, and are at my request to help Carla heal from what I caused her.
There are some things I can't cure. (holds his hands up like a 'not me!' gesture--ed)
There ARE some things I am not capable to heal, although through my connections I can see to it that something gets fixed which is outside my 'scope of practice' (shows him holding a big black phone handset to his ear--old fashioned --ed).
About this person: there is no harm in trying to do your best even though it creates anguish for others.
Everything is graded 'on the curve'. We take intent into consideration.
That being said, once it is 'our knowledge', and one insists and persists in this behavior with the full awareness of what has transpired between oneself and another?
(taps the dashboard of the deck where he sits in his captains seat--ed) That is another jurisdiction.
So everything is love, and everything is spiritual, and everything is blessed. All the rest can be left up to those who are experienced and have the skills to intervene.
(clap! clap!--ed) Carla has a bracelet to make and send today. Someone had ordered it from someone we sponsor. For some reason this order had never been filled. Today, doing her best, Carla will honor it and fulfill the obligation. The reader--who is not angry--offered to Carla a love donation for her efforts. This greatly pleases us in so many ways--the information about the order not being filled, the opportunity to fulfill the request, and the opportunity to do a little something extra in order to make it up to her. We also completely understand the circumstances that the order was not filled, and place no blame upon this person. It is not your fault.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Family