Probably the best memory I have of my gift is the time dad, Uncle Ben and I were at a casino at the Edgewater Hotel in Laughlin, Nevada. There was a game, an electronic one that showed video clips of horse races and you bet on it. I was overcome with a feeling and I told my father to pick one of the horses. He did. It paid out. By a lot.
I've never seen my father so happy in all of my life, not my wedding, not my graduation, not the birth of his grandson, as that moment when he hit the win and the coins started coming out of that machine. He was laughing and couldn't believe I had helped him to win so much money!
Now that I am older, I understand the financial responsibility of supporting a family, and having this 'free ride' in any amount (I think it was perhaps three hundred dollars? Back in the eighties it was a fortune, I think the house payment was five hundred dollars at the time) would be welcome to him. A respite.
But I didn't like how something so obvious to me could be so mysterious to others.
Didn't they know? Couldn't they feel it? Why doesn't anybody know?
Naturally he wanted me to pick again, and I didn't get that feeling, so perhaps he cajoled me into picking another one but it lost. Fortunately he just lost a little bit, and all that was left was a good story for everyone when we got back home.
Sometimes being psychic sucks.
In this day and age of Ascension I better give it to you straight: you are not always going to like having this 'special gift' but you are going to learn to adapt to it in stride over the long run.
Death lets itself be known before it actually happens. It's both frustrating and disturbing not to be able to act on these impulses once they come through and you sense it.
Take for example my mother. She would announce to the family that 'something terrible was going to happen' but 'she didn't know what it was'. Her body would pick up on some major disaster ahead of time! At first we would think she was just being emotional, but sure enough--a plane would crash and hundreds of lives would be lost--and the feeling would go away for her. There was a release when the crash would happen. Typically it would be less than three days that this warning would hit that the disaster would reach completion. It happened maybe once a year and not for all random plane crashes. Only the big ones.
As a family we didn't know how she knew. She was the only one that was different. She used to call us home from playing by thinking about us. She didn't need to yell down the street like other moms. We girls would get the feeling, 'I need to go home now!' and sure enough, she was calling us with her mind.
But it was a mom thing.
Or so I thought.
I smell death.
Somehow because of my training, my ability to smell it has gone up. Also my reconnection with my Twin did it too.
My friend Deb Algorio posted a photo of her beloved Caysen, her third triplet, and there was something about his smile. It was a knowing smile. The child was blind and had severe cerebral palsy, wasn't able to communicate, but I picked up a new vibration in his soul from all of the other pictures I have seen.
He's done! I exclaimed to myself. He's completed his soul lessons/life assignment, and his exit point is coming, and he KNOWS! He's really congratulating himself on the strong work he did! This is his bonus time at the end and he is enjoying it! Being with his family before he has to leave them! He TOTALLY KNOWS!!
Oh no! I thought to myself, should I tell Deb?
How would I say it in a way that wouldn't hurt her? Would she even accept the information? Is it wise to put the relationship at risk when I can support her after if the relationship is intact? (Deb is a fundamentalist Christian, and thinks these 'gifts' aren't from Heaven.)
Caysen did come through after his passing, and designed a bracelet for him mom, which she adores. I didn't tell her he told me what beads to pick ('more red!') and how to arrange them (threes like the triplets). I let her know I 'felt his presence' as I put together the design.
There was the guy who cleans the operating room who looked at me funny, like he knew who I really am (Mrs. Ross) when I first started to work at my hospital nine years ago. He died shortly of a heart attack in the next month.
There was the neighbor across the street from where I grew up, Jim, who looked at me with total fear and shock one day when I went to go to my car. He came across the street closer to me but didn't say hello. He tilted his head like I've never seen, he was sort of hunched over, and I got a demonic 'vibe' from him. He didn't say a word. I said, 'hello' and he didn't say hi back. I've known him since I was fourteen, we've said hello to each other for decades! Hmmm, Jim sure is acting odd, I said to myself as I got in to the car. I didn't give it a second thought, I drove away and brushed it off as my imagination. Next month, he got a pneumonia, ended up in ICU, and was taken off life support in a couple weeks.
Then there was my eye doctor. He's the husband of my good friend, a general surgeon. I felt his energy on my visit last week. His life force is running low. He has to drive to Pasadena and back and is super busy. It's taking a toll on him, to nearing the point of total exhaustion, but he's not letting anyone know. How do I tell her? What I 'pick up' is a job adjustment needs to come soon--less facilities, or a day off, or something, for him to recharge. I also need to ask if there's any history of heart disease in the family. Fortunately, my friend is okay with my gift. Her mother crossed recently, and she gave me permission to deliver any messages from her mom should they come through. I just need to find a way to take her to coffee and let her know the information gently.
It's so hard!
Sometimes people will be lying to you, and you'll know. You can't say anything because socially it's awkward but you can take steps to protect yourself.
Sometimes people tell you they are leaving work to go work someplace else. And in the back of your mind you're thinking, 'no you won't, it won't last long, and you'll be back'. You sense the energy, the flows of life, and you can sense that the move isn't with the flow in general of their life path. They are forcing it. Does this make sense?
I'm really good with omens.
When I came back from my honeymoon, at twenty-three, still having no freaking clue I was psychic, we unpacked our wedding gifts. The toasting glasses for the bride and groom--his broke.
I started to scream and cry because I knew in my heart the marriage was not meant to work out. My husband Mark tried his best to reassure me. What a silly thing? How could you know Carla? It's just a glass! He said.
But I was right. Six months after our wedding, I got a brain tumor diagnosed, and that was the beginning of the end.
Even on our trip to China, a suitcase got delayed in Shanghai on a connecting flight. I guess you aren't supposed to pack battery chargers for your phone in China. It was my fault, as I had put my little solar one in Anthony's luggage at the last minute in case his phone dies during the day on the trip. But the feeling when the people at the airline stopped me and told me in Chinese and I had to get Bob the tour guide to translate--I got extremely upset and I knew I needed to go home. I needed to go home NOW, even though I had spent no more than twenty minutes in China. Something terrible was going to happen and I wasn't supposed to go on this trip!
People in our group through I was crazy. I was getting so emotional over a suitcase.
They said, 'it happens to the doctors on these trips, they bring too many meds for just in case'...don't worry. It will come back to you.
But by the time the suitcase was delivered to our second place to stay in Beijing, Jared and Alexa were a couple, much to my shock and dismay and the total disrespect of me as the mother of his child torture began and continued for another ten days. With no way to escape. I was crying myself to sleep. And had no emotional support until the next to last day of our trip.
I was right. I read the omen. I sensed the energies. And I was powerless to stop it.
Would I give up being psychic?
It's who I am, and it helps me more than it hurts. Even with my patients sometimes I get a warning before I even meet them what equipment I will need and how to set up for the case. Just last week I almost gave succinylcholine to someone and I realized rocuronium was a better choice due to their nerve weakness why they were here for their back surgery. I had the sux drawn up in a syringe, was ready to induce anesthesia, and I thought, 'no! it's not worth the risk' based on the FEELING I had in my bones as an early warning system. And of course the patient did fine.
I still don't bet on the ponies or anything else for that matter. And if I win on a bet it's because I won't put my money at risk unless I have overwhelming knowledge of the situation first that puts me to the advantage. Not psychic information but knowing the subject of the bet.
When I get a smell of death, I turn to Ross. I always ask him to help the soul transition over. That way, I feel like my responsibility is complete, I've DONE something to help. It's no longer a burden having that type of information.
When I read any posts from people I know/am familiar with, or see photos, I get a sense of the vibration. I can't explain how I do, I just do. That's how I know it's a troll or someone who's going to cause trouble. Most times I know how to manage and I don't need to do much with the situation. I keep it calm and gentle and leave things in the 'doubtable' or 'expect the best' attitude with the person. For all I know, a troll can flip, and perhaps one day be a valuable warrior for our team. Look at Saul/Paul, right? That's like the biggest conversion ever!
And I work with my teams. It totally totally helps.
Pretty much any pet in trouble, posting for a request for Reiki, I generally know which pet is going to make it and what isn't. It's in the eyes. The ones who are suffering and wish their owners would let them go, I pick up on it. That's when I go into death doula mode. It's a very important skill I learned as a physician. When overwhelming odds are against a patient, and I smell death is coming, I gently drop a hint about the possibility of losing their loved one. Then I let it go. That hint goes a long way in preparing the family psychologically for what is about to go down eventually. I don't do this very often, and I'm always getting that feeling of death being pretty obvious--that soul is done kind of feeling--when I decide to mention it to them. Whether the family gets the hint at the time or not is not the point. It's planting the seed to help them change course towards accepting the inevitable. Reiki I send too, to help make it easier. Generally it's the Transition Symbol, but if anything else is needed I send that too.
And when a pet transitions, and sometimes with a human, I see Ross with them on the other side. He will hold the pet in his arms and make the little paw wave hello to me across the veil. <3
(Ross has a schedule of which topics for me to write...there are two today and it's the second to be published. This is easier for me to write so I am doing it first, with his approval.)
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Founders of Doctors With Reiki