Pittsburgh - September 12, 2001: PNC Field, baseball home of the Pirates. PNC seats 38,362 and cost $216 million
I'm taking a little liberty now when I put together my talks. I choose the photos but I let Spirit decide what order to present them. I'm good enough at writing to roll with it, in fact I enjoy the challenge.
Yesterday I put myself up on a dating site.
Ross and I are totally cool--everything is normal and healthy for us in our relationship.
It's just I have a little 'problem'.
As Nila said yesterday during my reading, 'you need to be able to put a little pheromones out there' and 'whether you delay it or not, healing this part of you is going to happen whether you want it to or not because Spirit WANTS it for you'.
When you see the BMI chart below you will understand one of the reasons why I don't even bother to appear to date. I'm 'up there' in the obese category.
When you understand my past--heartbreak on every corner over many lifetimes--you will know why I don't flirt or even go up to bat in that 'mating game'.
I don't have any intention to hang out with anyone other than Ross, my beloved Twin who is in Spirit.
I DO however, have every intention to be healed, completely whole, and just as vibrant and vivacious as ever -- feeling attractive about myself and what I 'put out there'--by the time he comes around.
I'm putting a bad message out to my son, that partners can't be trusted and love is pain. And one day he will feel sorry for me not to have someone in my life. That's what Nila said.
For me, if I have a friend who is male, and I can go to dinner or the movies, that's about as good as it's going to get.
And besides, I totally am okay with being alone. Ross is always with me. I won't ever truly be alone.
After menopause, and motherhood, and working to support us--my self confidence took a hit.
Now it's time to build it back up.
I don't know how it's going to go, and I frankly don't care. But Spirit wants me 'in the stadium' not as a spectator.
And I want to be my best self for Ross, starting today.
This is the seventh-tallest building in the world at 1,362 feet.
I stayed here. Once in 2016. I had a wonderful view of the clock tower. We took a boat tour to view the architecture.
If you ever order a sun catcher from me, the box I will sent it in is exactly the same as the way the brownies were served to us. It was phenomenal packaging. I tracked it down.
Yes, I'm that focused and persistent when I really want something done.
Why did I stay there?
On the one hand, they had a deal where you got a free rental car with the room. (They didn't tell you how expensive it was to PARK it! Sheesh!)
On the other, I wanted to see inside the mind of someone who was going to have a big influence on our world. How did they run their business and what was it like?
The front desk was pretty impressive and efficient.
The coffee service in the morning was equally nice.
The people who cleaned the rooms seemed happily employed.
The room itself had features which blew Anthony away--automatic curtains on the windows, a bathroom mirror that turned into a TV, and a Nespresso.
Myself, it was the best bathtub I've ever been inside in my whole life, and I like tubs.
The location was easy to get around town.
And the concierge helped us to get three tickets to see the Cubbies at the last minute!
Our first Dunkin Donuts was steps across the street.
That's what we experienced.
The days count on.
Peterbilt 362 American Truck in Russia
Yolanda is a woman who ran the department of Nuclear Medicine when I was an intern in residency. We struck up a friendship and were close. I worked at UCI as an attending anesthesiologist from 2001 to 2009...so after my training I still saw her around the hospital. Sometimes I would anesthetize people getting their nuclear medicine scans (PET scans, etc).
I thought about her the other day.
I could barely remember her name, I thought it was Yolanda, but I wasn't sure.
Yesterday, while I was walking to pre-op holding, someone in the hallway called my name, loud.
I looked around, startled.
There was a group of people in the emergency exit area. One of them approached me.
It was Yolanda.
She had retired six years ago, she looked happy.
Her husband was to have a big surgery.
I wasn't even supposed to be at work that day. I had been called in as backup due to an emergency.
Then the case I was supposed to do switched at the last minute.
I was going to pre-op in a way that seemed totally random, but in fact, it wasn't, it had been expertly designed by Spirit to foster this reconnection.
I was SO GLAD to hug my old friend.
I can't begin to tell you the joy I had just to know I put out a call to the Universe, and it answered!
We exchanged our phone numbers, and will keep in touch, too.
JACKSONVILLE BEACH, FL-AUGUST 27, 2015: A seagull looks over Jacksonville Beach from the pier. The population of Jacksonville Beach was 20,362 at the 2010 census.
I've never been to Jacksonville.
Sometimes these days I feel like I'm on the outside, looking in, like this bird.
Apparently according to Nila, I've been through a huge shift.
She also saw 'relationship' cards everywhere in my spread.
'The old is no more' she said, quoting Kryon, how the Akashic record 'debts' had been erased. We can build anew.
She also saw this funny white glow at my shoulder, like mediumship. She thought is was a portal.
She even did a spread for Anthony and for the 'new man in my life'.
I think it was Ross, to be honest.
I think she's vibrating at a high enough level to see him and hear him.
Just like me.
SAO PAULO, BRAZIL - OCTOBER 6, 2014: People walk by BM&F Bovespa Stock Exchange in Sao Paulo. Bovespa is the largest stock exchange in Brazil with 362 companies trading here (2014)
Ah, look at the architecture! See those funny columns, especially at the door?
How about the almost checkerboard concrete out in the front?
Those fools are everywhere.
Worshipping something that isn't God--Creator of All That Is.
One day I hope someone will put a stop to this.
I had a fascinating conversation with an old friend on messenger. She had been super irate about the children in cages at the deportation center.
I told her check out China Lake where the kids are stacked in cages floor to ceiling, the bars have electric shock, they can't stand up or stretch out, and like Mengele did so many years ago, his tradition of 'love me, love me not' and choosing one to sacrifice brutally (skinning alive) in front of the ones in the cages undergoing the Monarch 'programming' happen every day.
I also told her there are pedovores, people to butcher, and boil babies to eat them. She wanted to know where I read about this. Cannibalism, Blood Drinking, and High Adept Satanic...by Kerth Barker, available on Amazon. It will tell you everything you need to know.
She was surprisingly open, and was aware of what the 'monarchy' does on the 'down low', and also, how their DNA isn't exactly, um, pure human. She knows what Diana called them due to their shapeshifting.
It was a wonderful talk and I know through her research on vaccines that this raw vegan friend is going to learn more and be a voice, a much needed voice, on Earth.
KATOWICE, POLAND - SEPTEMBER 11, 2015: panorama of Katowice at night during a concert dedicated to the 150th anniversary of the city on September 11, 2015 in Katowice, Poland. Katowice is a city in southwestern Poland, with a population of 304,362 as of 2010
Do you like the night life?
Do you enjoy going to concerts?
For me, not particularly.
The vibration of those scenes just isn't my thing--drinking, drugs, entertainment, gambling. When it starts to just get a little dark that's when it's time for me to go to bed.
And now, I've been writing while the sun came up. I woke up in the darkness. I do that every day.
The birds start singing.
I love being a morning person with all my heart.
Yesterday I did this.
That's where I sent the Reiki from.
The hour flew by.
I noticed little crystals formed on my skin while I was floating.
At first the darkness frightened me. I've never been one to fear darkness because my father taught me how to hike in the dark with the flashlights off, and how my eyes would adjust.
They give you a little floating ball that can light up.
I held it for a while, but I realized I could let it go and find it when I wanted to.
My tank you could stand up if you need to. And they have a cleaning cycle after each user.
I signed up for a membership, and yesterday's session was free.
I felt wonderful when I got out.
It's funny because Nila said I needed to start meditating more and finding things I could do to experience Theta brainwaves. She said I've gotten out of Beta, and do time here and there in Alpha, but Theta is very restorative and helps to connect you to Source.
Float tanks promote Theta. I had just been there one hour before I visited her!
She picked up on it.
Anyhow, I realize now, these tanks are almost pure Yin.
I can't wait to go back.
Did I release anything?
Ross asked me what was the hardest part about my job as a pediatric sex worker for TWDNHOBIAH.
It hurt. My private parts would be sore, both front and back. It was hard to pee and poop because I was so stretched out. I leaked a lot, actually.
I didn't know how to read. The only thing I was taught was job related techniques.
And I never really got to connect, soul to soul, with any of my clients in the intimate encounters we shared--it just wasn't 'done'--so that Spiritual side of me--well, it either got degraded or died a little.
Those are big things.
They weren't scary things.
And when I looked down at myself while I floated, I saw a light blue glow. I didn't light up the tank or anything.
But I've been told I glow when I've been in bed with some partners in the past. This was the first time I actually saw it.
United States Navy Memorial is located in Washington D.C., USA. Associated with the Memorial is the Naval Heritage Center which works 362 days per year. It was established in 1987The boy next door married the girl across the street. He got her pregnant on prom night. She was three months pregnant when they married.
They married in the chapel at the local cemetery. It was beautiful actually.
They had two girls.
He was in the police department.
I had thought it was LAPD but I guess he switched to LBPD. I knew he was a detective at some point, and a K-9 too.
The youngest daughter went into the force.
He retired yesterday. After twenty-seven years.
I saw photos of the girls with their first ride-along, and their last one.
I heard the radio tribute to him on his last day in his car--it was very touching as they spoke of all his career and the jobs he's held...how they wished him to better things and will miss him.
And I'm still working. I'm four years older than him.
I found out good news. Since I'm a long-time member of my malpractice insurance, when I retire, they usually waive the tail coverage fee as an honor to me. So the money that's building up in my tribute account, will actually go to me. Today it's worth thirteen thousand dollars. And will be up to eighteen thousand in five years.
That's a total blessing!
Indianapolis - Circa September 2016: Siemens Building Technologies. Siemens employs approximately 362,000 people worldwide
I love counting down the days.
Today is a big one, I'm on call.
I need to get ready for work.
To be honest, my work is a little crazy...I trust everything is going to work out.
NARA, JAPAN - APRIL 26, 2012: People visit shops in Nara, Japan. Nara is a former capital city of Japan. Currently the largest city in Nara Prefecture, it has 362,226 citizens.
This is Nara. I'd love to visit it. Yesterday I found two new Japanese stores. I was happy to find them. I did my shopping for probiotics there.
Today I have a Hawaiian papaya for breakfast. It was about four dollars. Many of them are GMO. That's why Pele took out so many of the papaya farm on Big Island. Gaia hates GMO.
But I took one because they are in short supply. It's sad because the pollen blows from the GMO to the organic farms, and now everything is messed up.
But I was happy to be in Japanese store again.
This is tile design 362.
The surgeon was happy with the blessing gift for his daughter. He sent me a photo of his wife holding the baby and the thing I made for her.
I'm glad it arrived.
I also got to hold a nine-month old baby boy who lives across the street. I saw Payam and Farnoosh the parents with him. Usually I'm working. They are such nice neighbors.
I was happy the boy was willing to come to me to hold him. No stranger anxiety. He smelled like baby. It was the highlight of my day.
Time for work.
Ross is here, I feel his presence strongly.
I teased him in the float tank that this was a total 'Ross thing'. He asked me 'why do you say that'?
He was always up for the adventure, the new.
I also teased him too that it's almost like a Light Box--a healing chamber.
When I got out I felt like they had zapped me good, and I had the least side effects from downloads.
Anyhow, it's time for work, I trust my man, and I know everything is going to work out.
On that dating website, I posted photos of me at the Great Wall, in Yosemite, and with the Sakura. I will see if people recognize Kurama Dera. If they don't, then, well, they aren't going to get much of my time. It's surprising how it's all in the same year, all this travel!
I love to travel!
I can't wait to travel through Time and Space with Ross.
I love him So.
Even enough to listen to Spirit and to his Guidance, and follow it, even when it's not what you would expect a Twin to say.
Something in me had died, my being 'a woman'--in Southern California it's really hard to wake up and face the world once you reach a 'certain age'.
Ross wants that back for me. Like Nila said, 'you're not dead yet' and 'you need to be able to put out the pheromones'.
I hope this helps bring Ross back in a shorter time, and helps him to enjoy my presence more when he is here for reals in 362 days or sooner.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Founders of Doctors With Reiki