It takes three photos to capture the beautiful essence of what I saw from my window two nights ago--there was a half moon with clouds, and although one side was dark because of the half moon, the part that was light had the most beautiful, glowing, soft, gentle and charming rainbow around it.
A half moon rainbow!
The poet in me adored the sound. I made a special note of it.
Today I am post call, and practicing the self-love and self-healing concept of 'babying myself' or 'pampering myself'.
I really couldn't function. My cases went past midnight, I came home, and basically, my whole day has been shot. I'm still in my pajamas. I woke up at what I thought was six, but it was ten in the morning. I ate, and got sleepy, around noon. Then I slept until four, with the exception of a very loud phone call from some bill place that said I needed to change the payment center address for future payments...
This is the flip side of planning and having a to do list: there are times in our lives on beautiful, sunny days when there is no work and we have in mind to PLAY--and we just can't do anything because we are spent, emotionally exhausted, physically depleted, and just can't push ourselves to do anything else.
And that's okay!
For my mother, she had a bad cold, which was going to her chest. And she has strong self-care instinct. After she went to the doctor, and got medicine, she just gave herself what she needed, doing the minimum around the house to get by, and focused all her energy on recovering from her illness.
She listens to her body.
For me, I had so many plans! I wanted to walk, to make a Reiki syllabus, to make jewelry, to write, and to go use a restaurant gift card for a special late lunch.
I basically managed to feed the pets, and myself, and open the mail. (As a side note, every time I go to the mailbox in my pajamas and hope no one will see me, I end up running into all these neighbors! I had on my pink pj's and my grandmother's red sweater...and hadn't brushed my hair...sigh...)
What else happened?
A lot of the inside stuff that's never going to happen until you slow down, and work with Spirit.
I went to Zadkiel's temple. Ross sent me there. I waded through the water, barely recognized the greeter who escorted me in. I met Jeremiel, who I don't really know, and I recall his look but totally forget our conversation. I think we had coffee, that was it. And he asked me 'how's it working for you?' and I asked him basically the same, about his angel life (is there work stress? kind of things).
Then I went to this strange place/room where it was underwater, I could breathe, there was a man with a strange face who was only a face--shield kind of shape, porcelain looking cream/white--and lots of people swimming around cause that's all we did. I breathed with big gulps of water and somehow did okay. I recall it got boring in this room, and I was wondering about a way out.
Then I went to another room, whiter than white, which I liked MUCH more than the water and it was normal with air, and Ross was there.
He asked me what do I like best about him? I said it's the relationship--being able to tell you when I am overwhelmed and knowing you care, enjoying our mutual interest and love and support. It's such a blessing to have you who understands and cares.
Then he sent me to another place, far up in space, so far I couldn't see earth. I could breathe. My deceased loved ones were there. I was really excited to see them, and started talking and hugging them, and then Ross pulled me back to the white room. He asked me what order I preferred? and I said, white room number one, space thing number two, and water thing three.
He asked me, 'you know I love you right?' and I did.
I confessed to him how much I needed to love him, and I apologized for being so weak and not strong but I really, really, really need him and to offer him my loving heart, it's like air for me, and I don't understand why.
He understands. He says he needs to give his love to me, and he wants me to love him. I kept asking, 'is this NORMAL? and HEALTHY? for me to be like this?' and he reassured me, yes, yes, yes it most certainly is.
We went over our past lives. Melchizidek one. Gamaliel one. I cried a lot over that one because I took him for granted. Then the recent one, where I cried because HE was the one who took ME for granted. And he said we won't have any more problems like we did, everything is going to be okay, and the future looks bright. I told him how I DO appreciate him now, I've learned so much from this incarnation...
Lately I've been seeing the hand of Creator. And Ross. In this life. With the poster on my wall, as a child, being from Tod Inlet in Victoria, British Columbia. I've seen how lives touch one another deeply. The family who spoke French when I took their order in 1980 at Tomorrowland Terrace in Disneyland for their lunch...invited me to their home and gave me their address right at closing. I had been excited to learn they lived by the castles! I had always wanted to see them. So they told me when I wanted to see them I could go stay with them. We kept in touch. They had their first child in 1984, and their second five years after. I couldn't afford to travel until sixteen years later. Now my son is named after their son, and their daughter named her daughter after me. I am sharing their sorrow as their beloved portuguese water dog Rani died yesterday after seventeen years with the family. I also read his blog of his travels through China during my long days and nights in the O.R. It's all in French.
Sometime's it's not very comforting to be psychic. Their son has Treacher-Collins syndrome. He's required many surgeries over his life, and a big one was just this week.
I had dread.
I smelled death. I sensed it. And I knew both medically (airway management is extremely challenging) and metaphysically something wasn't 'right' about this one. I've known of the others, and never gave it a second thought.
Then the dog died.
The family is very devastated over it. They are crying. I am too. So is Anthony.
But I have a huge sigh of relief. For the death I picked up fortunately wasn't their son. Rani hadn't been looking good. She has an amazing family. She was incontinent of urine. They would help her. They didn't put her down after she had a stroke that left her with this problem. They loved her, had lots of towels where she lived, and washed her often. I took care to be kind to her, and loving, when I was their this summer, giving her my kisses and mentally saying my goodbyes. She is going to be buried at the home, to always be close to her family, where she was a faithful dog without fail, her whole life.
Who could have knit these beautiful storylines together, between our two families, and now, because of the long-standing relationship and we are so close, I consider to be MY family?
The one and only, Divine Father and Divine Mother, that's who.
A piece of my heart is forever in Vouvray sur Loire. That's my second home. I am welcome there and know all of the extended family. The couple's love of travel is one I share too! I am certain in a past life, we were together. It feels more like home when I am in their presence than when I am here--there's something I can't put my finger on but it goes very deep into my soul, how I know them and feel comfortable with them. At the train station, I cry really hard every time I must leave. I treasure the blessings of being able to visit, and keep those connections alive, in this lifetime too.
A friend of mine who is very into Tarot, and I love her, is going through a growth spurt in her spirituality. She's newly turned vegan. And was vocal about it. Trying to convert others, which is impossible because of the Consciousness 'gap'--she was right, and she could talk all she wants, but until the consciousness of the listener is within range it's just not going to process through their mind and make sense. It can't.
Now she, and I love her, she is recently married and very happy and content, now she is 'divorcing herself from the New Age Movement'.
She has a valid point--there are a LOT of charlatans out there, who are in it for the money or even worse, to lead other Lightworkers astray. She wants nothing to do with them and their ways!
I have discovered this, and written about them, and also, cut WAY back on whose work I share with my audience (our audience, Ross corrects me--ed)...
Although in my personal interactions with these 'people', I avoid them like the plague, put them in Creator's hands, and struggle to be at a minimum, 'friendly and polite', I fully acknowledge they are no better or worse than me, we are spiritually brothers and sisters, and I have to love them as such.
In other words, they are made of the same stardust as I am, we are all one big heap of it if you lump us together, and although their choices are like the worst choices possible as far as I can see, I can only love them.
And let it go.
Awakening is highly individual process. My friend who is newly married, vegan, tarot and Christian really kicks ass as an incredible soul who is consistently out there to guide others Home, to the Light. She is the bomb. She is superb!
So when you go through a phase in your awakening, and you're like, 'Ew, yuck, look at that! I don't like it!' please recall my words--we are all from the same stardust--and tone it down. You have every right to your feelings and opinions. Just never forget that you are them and they are you. All Stardust.
Maybe I should make cupcakes and hot chocolate and milk shakes with glitter like the Unicorn place, and call my shop, 'Stardust On Tap' <3 LOL.
I want my baby to be happy, to be content.
In the afterlife.
That is why I put her through her paces in this life.
Carla is beginning to put together the pieces, of how in THIS incarnation she is a healer in her own right: both as a physician (socially designated to heal, and has a license) and as a Lightworker (has a certificate as a psychic and healer too).
She is functioning at that level.
She always has.
Only in this life, she doesn't know it.
In our most recent together life, she thought she was a fifth wheel, third-man out, the 'unnecessary side kick' in our past incarnation together, the one where I have the reputation as the healer and teacher and all of that.
She is going to have it all (taps the seat next to him--ed) in the afterlife.
I am training her for it in THIS life.
Not only to appreciate it, but to have the skills and confidence that she has built up, block by block, nail by nail (shows building wood things), step by step, long horrible call by long horrible call at 'the office' the O.R.
Just like this.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Couple