My goal this year, and I have a close dear friend, my maid of honor from my first wedding, who shares this goal--and we will keep each other accountable--is to find more balance in my work-life situation.
Yesterday, as part of this goal, I took my boy to the pier in Newport Beach. Why there?
Because of the Pokemans. He likes to catch them, his friends say it's a good place to 'hunt' them, and I like it when he walks.
We only had two thousand steps on the pier. So I wanted to walk more along the beach, possibly to the Balboa pier.
Obesity is a challenge, both of us are obese, my son and me. Him because he can't run down the street and play with his friends. That's because of my work hours being so long, and his school and after school activities. And for me? I can't run to the gym because of the same.
I thought about that yesterday. Long and hard. I have many pounds to lose, I know I can do it. And being the parent of an obese child is a special gift, as Mother Teresa used to say about all challenges: 'they are gifts'. He only wants to exercise by throwing a ball. He doesn't like to walk or run. And my shoulder hurts, there's an old injury, and I can't put the power into my throwing arm.
I discovered yesterday he was happy kicking the football down the beach (he wants to be a kicker in football) while I walked; then once I was 'warmed up', I found it didn't hurt so much to throw.
In choosing to walk, we didn't have time to take the Christmas decorations down (not that there's a hurry, but the tree pickup is only this week). I didn't clean the house. I didn't work on my various spiritual projects.
But we needed fresh air, and downtime. There was no sun. We actually left because it sprinkled on us after four hours. I also picked up a lot of styrofoam and other trash--drinking straws--and put them in the garbage cans. Anthony found a stand up paddle board paddle too. It's just my size and there wa s no-one within miles on the beach to claim it. We kept it.
Right before stopping at the beach, we ate lunch. I had chosen the Mexican chicken salad at Del Taco. Anthony had the carne asada fries. We were both hungry again not long after our meals.
But I found with the exercise the hunger went away.
Another part of the balance this year is eating less meals outside the home. So we came home, both starving. I had a pasta salad immediately available, and we had leftovers from our New Year's black eyed peas. With a stroke of genius, I denied his chocolate smoothie (which is not totally unhealthy, it has banana and coconut sugar in it), stating the meal is ready, and I put out on the table my chocolate hemp milk, and his cow's milk.
He wanted to try the hemp milk. He likes chocolate.
He finished it up with some regular milk, but he drank a big cup of the hemp one.
I found an alternative to milk for him! He didn't mind it. And he chose it!
As I washed the dishes, I gave thanks for me being chosen to be his mom. Someone needs to help him with the obesity, and love him, and not be harsh. He has serious health issues from his weight.
I took to heart the five hundred pound man who lost three hundred pounds in fifteen months with yoga and diet. His baby pictures looked like my son.
I must make smart choices for us both, at least, while he is with me. I can't control him with his father, or with a sitter or friends. It's important for both our lives.
There was a time when Spirit was pushing me to write. Any spare time went to that purpose, and poor Anthony had to spend lots of time on his own while I was at the computer. It was so intrusive to our lives, he hated the computer. He was always telling me to quit being Reiki doc, just to quit everything.
He's okay with it now. He understands. And I've toned it way back. I write at his bedtime, or before he wakes up.
Spirit isn't pushing me so hard. But last night, Spirit had a new breakthrough during my meditation.
Ashtar walked up to me.
Usually, they pop in or pop out of my perception. This time Ashtar walked to me like normal.
I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed of the Veil, because I sensed I was 'home' and I couldn't recall how I was supposed to act, or what I was supposed to do in that situation. I apologized to him for all the times I went up on the bridge and ranted at him in anger (over the slow speed to help us down here, the Ground Crew). I felt it in my heart, and I meant it.
I knew things were different now.
He had a special thing in his hand, and he gave it to me. Some technology before I've never seen. It reminded me of the rounded hammer dad used to use, but it had a really short handle, was upside down, and was swinging back and forth like a funny pendulum.
Ashtar gave it to me--it's inside me--hard to explain--but working. And it doesn't hurt. It's in my chest.
Here's some photos:
The handle is one third the length, and the metal isn't this color, and it's more upside down
The thickness of this handle is the right size, but its not even the length of the metal hammer part in Ashtar's
THIS captures the unearthly metallic sheen and color, but is the wrong shape and orientation and handle size
This one comes closest in shape, and size, but it should be rotated ninety degrees and the color is completely wrong
I have no idea what this hammer thing does. Ashtar didn't explain it.
Then he invited me to bridge, he asked me if I would like to go? I said yes of course. And he asked me to look out the window, the big one in the front.
I could barely see. I was crying. I was crying because I was asking him, 'am I supposed to sit here? is there a place for me? am I supposed to remember my role here--because I can't?'
I thought I was standing and there wasn't a chair for me. But he gestured that I was sitting, and it was my seat, not just any seat, but mine, just like Ross has his and Ashtar has his. I was between them.
I cried more.
I asked if I am here so Ross can take a breather? (he said no)
I asked, 'If I am here can you and Ross still be close friends?' (he said yes, it works beautifully and I am not in the way of their friendship or work relationship).
I asked why I can't remember my job, and I'm embarrassed to be here and people might notice I don't know what I'm supposed to do, and I'm so sorry I can't meet my duties due to this amnesia...
Ashtar directed me to look at the window. I had to concentrate really hard before I could see.
There was a whole bunch of aircraft, of a type I've never seen, in formation, just floating and not going anywhere, in this orientation, pointing to the right. Lots and lots and lots, too many to count.
I didn't know what it meant.
Ashtar let me know it is Agartha. They are ready to come up. Waiting for something. A signal? I don't know.
I saw the goal of them coming up--to educate and somehow there were going to take over the media because I saw them broadcasting over our TV and radio in a nice way and it wasn't scary. It had the energy of being super organized, with everything in place, and I could see how their targets were--certain places on the globe--with them spreading out to them for their assignments.
I also picked up their excitement! I guess this is some 'wild wild west' to them, a new frontier they've always known about, but not been able to visit.
I asked some random question, out of the blue and I just blurted it out, but for some reason I wanted to know if there are volcanoes in Agartha and I was told no there are not.
The reason I called this post Balance with a Capital B...is because of that. There is a whole new component--the metaphysical, the spiritual, the future--which is heading our way.
I have no concept of time, from my vision with my meditation. I cannot predict when, because while I was viewing it I was in the Now Moment. It felt like now.
But to Balance--not just work and life--but the new Spiritual components which are more than simple meditation--it all makes for a nice goal for the New Year.
With practice, mindfulness, and paying attention to the signals from my heart--I will find my way.
Measure twice, cut once!
( he just smiles a warm and loving smile, and is so very proud and pleased at the moment--ed)
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla