Waiting For The Sunrise

I learned a lesson this week, actually three or four major ones. The first one is an excellent analogy for those of us who--for example, look to the countdown day which now is 225--are looking forward to changes brought by Spirit in the near future. 

We woke before dawn, and took an outrigger canoe with a couple and a guide to watch the sunrise.

One of the chants says 'ee ala ee', twice--addressing the sun. Haleakala would translate to house (hale - hut or house) of (a) the sun (ka la)--house of the sun. The pu'u (conch shell) is blown to the village. It can be heard from four miles away. And a blessing is asked of the sun to help the village in their day.

Our hotel has this 'adventure' available for those who wish to buy it. It's funny because it was free at a sister hotel in Maui twenty years ago. I actually jumped out the boat when invited and swam with turtles back them...but here on Big Island it costs and we paid. It's our third time to experience it.

This one I didn't bring camera. You get so much more when you are present. 

And I learned two important things.

The first is that the sunrise has a sequence of events to tip you off that it's coming nearer. The mountains get an orange glow on the edges. Then they make shadows and the surface of the mountains becomes more clear. Then the sky just above the sunrise gets really bright--and the sun quickly follows.

For the whole sun to come up--it's only four blasts of the conch pu'u. 

So, if you are looking for any 'changes' (cough, cough) it might be wise to look for the tip-offs in an orderly sequence which lead up to the actual 'sunrise'.

I know it's miserable to wait, it feels like it's taking forever, and we want it done NOW.

But since we don't know, and we can't control it, what we can do is to train ourselves to look for signs that the change is imminent...and to share our findings within our community to help us prepare and be ready for the good things which are due to arrive.

STOCKHOLM JANUARY 6, 2012.Worlds biggest aircraft Antonov An-225 parked at Stockholm-Arlanda airport.

The second lesson was out there in that canoe, waiting for the sun to come up, in the ocean breeze which was pretty strong.  The canoe was the biggest form of cargo and passenger transport 'back in the day' -- lol. 

Anyhow, with a few short sentences we would be blown back from the shorebreak--to the drop-off and just 'this close' to open ocean off the reef--without hardly even noticing it.

For the sunrise ceremony, we had to paddle in from the deep two or three times before the sun came up, just to watch it!

Fortunately, the guide had an eye for a bunch of rocks off on the horizon to the south, and called it Kona Point. The real Kona Point marks deep sea, but this one to Kona Village was our mark he called Kona Point, and I noticed that as we were drifting he was paying attention, and when we were close to that distance from shore, he encouraged us to paddle back in. 

Anthony also said he didn't paddle, our guide, Elijah. He had us do the paddling, but when people were tired and would rest then he would paddle really hard so he looked super strong. LOL.  

Guides steer.

They don't paddle unless needed.

They are reading the ocean and you bring them for their experience. 

So 'grab your own paddle' and 'realize you can drift a lot without realizing it' but trust in your Guides. They already know how to canoe. Right?

Although this trip was for a conference (boy has anesthesia changed a LOT--totally different from when I started out. ) as you can imagine there was lots of 'work' done. Spiritual work. For the planet. 

And it's done.

I don't feel a need to describe it. But I did make connections from ancient Hawaiian 'religion' and 'culture', to Mr. Brown 'the last ali'i' who owned the area, to all the huge hotels built by Rockefellers (Mauna kea, Mauna Lani)--and I did what I was asked to do.

I also have developed a fear of driving mountain roads/heights. It's difficult. I was offered a jeep at the rental counter, drove it about one mile in the wind, and had to take it back. It was too scary. (part of my lesson was to establish boundaries with my comfort level. Another one was when our neighbor's smoked cigarettes on the lanai and it blew stinky smoke into our room.)

Pele called us, mostly Anthony.

When I had visited her in 1996, she made me promise to return with my children. I did, once, when Anthony was four. 

I had to make the drive.

The road from Honokaa (Tex's Malasadas are the destination) to Hilo is pretty winding, and it has some tall bridges. Last time I was there it rained hard, and I prayed a lot. And a storm was coming.

I really didn't want to go. I was getting pressure. So I had to decide what was okay and what wasn't.

Once I let go of all the ifs, ands, buts, and shoulds--I realized it was okay to go and I would be okay. So I drove. Anthony played calming music on the radio with his phone connected to it. 

I realize I'm mortal. When I drive rental cars for some reason my hands go numb. My vision is okay but not as good as it was twenty years ago. And I have to go pee a lot. People in Hawaii drive like maniacs around these curves because it's their cars and they grew up there. I didn't. And I'm in a rental car with poor handling. 

But when it came right down to it, I couldn't turn down a chance to see Pele and to bring her Anthony. It felt right. Even if I would have to basically drive all day.

So I focused on the now, and we got to the visitor center . The ranger gave us a map and drew a hike for us. It went to the sulfur rocks, then to the crater rim, then to a rain forest. I was delighted to know that the Volcano house was open because the last time it had been closed for safety reasons.

Anthony's favorite memories are driving with me on vacation. We drove to Hanalei one afternoon, and up to Waimea Canyon and overlook of the NaPali Coast another when we were in Kauai. I've driven lots to Puna to see Hope--up and down over Saddle Road as well as around the island. But this time it was special. It was the first time Anthony truly was my co-pilot, and helped to look for oncoming traffic.

The hike was just as special. The smells of the steam coming out of the earth reminded me of Yellowstone. 

And being near Pele was special too.

A lot of people bring gifts to her. 

I didn't have anything. Last time I gave a gift I recall, I forget what. 

This time I gave her a libation of some Deep Water--a libation is when you pour wine or water onto the earth as a gift to a divine being, a faerie, or in this case, Pele. Some tourists saw me do this on the sulfur banks side, and had no idea what I was doing was sacred.

The guests at the crater rim had no concept of sacred anything! They just talked loud and took selfies.

If you go remember this is sacred ground for all of the Hawaiian People--not for tour buses to dump people out to 'see the sights'.

We found an area where others had left leis and flowers. It was quiet. Anthony had brought one piece of bubble gum as a gift--and when he had thrown it it wasn't very 'mindful'--so he had a chance at this quiet place to do his own 'do over' gift too.

I had some tissues in my pocket, and pulled out the orange one to tell you that it's near the end of the tissue box in the hotel room. 

I gave Pele my tears.

Anthony wanted to know if they were happy tears or what?

They were mixed.

I had incredible gratitude for learning who I am, for the experience of being a mother, and for the physical ability to drive and walk to see Her.  Yet I cried because of the journey from 1996 to 2018 had been hard on me. And I only had one kid to bring to her. I was deeply sorry I didn't have more to keep my promise to bring my kids to her. I brought ONE.

At this Pele was her most gentle. She encouraged me that I DID have many kids, all the people who read and follow the work of Doctors With Reiki, they are under my spiritual guidance and care, and at that moment all of them were with us too, and it meant so very much to Her that all of them could come. 

My tears are in this tissue. Pele had me ask Anthony to throw it, and the wind carried it to this tree. We were amazed how it looks just like one of its flowers! 

She had me activate my bracelet that I wear for her. It's blessed now.

And for Anthony she invited him to call her 'Auntie Pele', and she extracted a promise from him too. 

The drive back home was a little daunting. Pele had told us we were done and it was time to go. I'm glad she did.  It rained hard, really hard, and the rebuilt roads to the park were a little slippery. We had seen one accident--a truck launched itself up and onto rocks like a car gets lifted up at the car shop. It was that high. Anthony was deeply troubled, and thought for sure the driver was dead. We didn't see any ambulance or any sign that anyone had gotten out. Just lots of police. 

So I listened to the music, and prayed. I hadn't eaten lunch--just the malasada and coffee around eleven. So just minutes before closing, I got lunch at the Punalu'u bake shop. Portuguese bean soup. And I was very happy. 

We arrived back at the hotel just in time for our dinner reservations.  I'm so glad I left lecture a little early, and we were able to make the trip.

Next year, when Anthony is in High School, he won't be able to go. I'm not sure if I want to leave him for one week with anyone...that's a long time...He's really growing up though. Really growing up.

In the Illusion, in a physical body, change is constantly happening. Nothing is forever. Not the relationships. Not your health. Not anything. Keeping your Spiritual Essence alive and Healthy, and working with your guides, is the best way to go through these changes. It makes it worth it. All the struggle, all the hassle, is worth it for the spiritual growth.

The colorful houses of Rodebay, Greenland. This settlement is located on a small peninsula jutting off the mainland into eastern Disko Bay, 22.5 km north of Ilulissat. It had 46 inhabitants in 2010

Anthony had a lesson too. A valuable one.

He misplaces things a lot.

And he thinks that people steal them.

He couldn't find his special bracelet I'd made for him. He had taken it off to go swimming. He accused the housekeeper Grace.

I told him I know her, she wouldn't do that. Maybe it was thrown in the trash by accident? I'd looked over every inch of the room, in every drawer, in every bag, in every luggage. Reluctantly I called Security to ask if perhaps Grace had seen it? 

But the next day, Anthony didn't want anyone to clean our room. 

Well, we found it.  We found it while packing. I was thrilled to learn it was in the bottom of a Target bag. I called Security.

And Anthony went into a funk. A very bad funk. He felt bad for having wrongly accused Grace, and causing her pain.

He told me he didn't want to keep the bracelet, and tossed it to me. 

I felt insulted. A miracle is a miracle! 

Here we were, our last day, things to pack, and he can't function.  I told him that making mistakes is part of being human, it's how we make things right afterwards, how we accept responsibility that's important. I taught him ho'oponopono and explained to him it's how to heal relationships, because in the long run, relationships are lots more important than things.

Then Ross stepped in.

He had a secret plan for Anthony to do something with the bracelet for a higher good. Not giving it to Grace. Just something.

And you know, for all my growth and healing with that man, it's only a veneer over extreme pain and anxiety and sad memories. I flipped Ross off. I refused to talk to either Anthony or Ross. I accused Ross of taking things that were precious to me and destroying them for some higher good, without batting an eye towards how it hurts my feelings. He does it again and again no matter how much his teams counsel him. What am I, chopped liver? You take me and my relationship to him and my feelings, and some lame ass 'Right Action' thing, and I get tossed to the side like yesterday's news! I packed as fast as I could. 

Ross wanted Anthony to do something with the bracelet (I said, please don't toss it into the sea! He's lost one already that way throwing a rock and it flew into the water in Oceanside)...but Ross wanted me to 'be there' when Anthony 'did what he was asked to do'.

Ross played a song--I was still upset. He offered me jewelry at the hotel store as we walked by--and I was still withdrawn. I'd accepted the bracelet was going to go. But I didn't like it.

Thank God my mom called right when Anthony walked into the distance by the ocean. I didn't have to see. But after Ross had me sit with Anthony and listen to IZ 'over the rainbow' song. 

I

It was special.

Ross was right.

I also understood the significance of the thing, and Anthony told me the rest that Ross said he could tell after it was done.

I'm okay with it being left behind now. 

But I am still very sore from Ross and his many lessons for me to grow.

I can make a bracelet just like the old one, but he's outgrown it, and I have instructions for the next one's design and stone.

I had thought perhaps that this trip would be 'it' and I'd see Ross and everything would be 'over'.

I have grown very strong in facing these possible 'meetings' and realizing they aren't going to happen, and to just keep going on until they actually come true.

I don't even think about it much. I'm glad I'm ready.

There was a time where the clouds were over us as we lay in chaise lounges at night on the beach, and Ross said I could touch him--to both Anthony and me--he was that close. The clouds were funny shaped and very low, and as Anthony pointed out, there were NO other clouds anywhere else in the sky, and they disappeared fast.

It was a long flight back, a Red Eye, and I was uncomfortable the whole time.

Tomorrow is back to anesthesia. At least it is a good way to provide and to let us do nice  things like go to conference.

I was in sessions each day from 7:00 a.m. to 12:30 a.m. I worked hard.

But before sessions, I'd snorkel.

The last day, Saturday morning, Ross invited me to go before sunrise. I did. The ocean had been murky all week. This one was fantastic! I swam/'danced' with turtles (these followed me a little), swam with schools of fish, saw a moray eel both sticking out of his hole and swimming the full thing, and even a scorpion fish. The poison one that looks like a rock. When it moved, it's fins were brilliant bands of orange, yellow and red. I watched it for some time, at first seeing if it was a fish or a rock, and later, to appreciate the flashes of color before it tucked in its fins after each move.

Ross told me that my heart is there, in the middle of that lagoon, and he would watch it for me. 

I really, really love the fish.

Elijah told me today he would see me in the mornings out there by myself, all week. (He's the guide for the canoe and opens the snorkel shack every day.)

I'm glad he did. 

Landscape and winding road 225 in HaMakhtesh HaGadol (the big crater). It is a geological erosional landform in the Negev desert, Southern Israel

Ross

Anthony is awake and hungry.  Carla is going to get him a burrito like she always does when they come back from world travel.

I accomplished all I set out for them to do together--work on boundaries, for Anthony to learn forgiveness is a part of everyday life, and for them to combine fun with work and making memories.

For all of those who live on the Islands, please accept our apologies--Carla was on a tight schedule with little to no free time and did not want to be an imposition like perhaps at times she and her boy have been in the past.



clap! clap!


Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Ross and Carla
The Couple