Wednesday, April 18, 2018

On Giving Thanks

We are so close to the Awakening, please stop and take a few moments to give thanks for the wonderful people in your life who have made you who you a spiritual sense.

None of this work would have been possible without the shield of love Divine Creator sent to me in the form of my sister Christina.

None of it.

And I couldn't have made it this far without the presence of my other sister Vanessa, who helped me to endure.

I needed both.

When I was four I wanted a sister--possibly three and a half--I started to ask for one. Mom and dad didn't intend it, but a pregnancy happened. I was very specific and told them if it wasn't a sister they could just take the baby back to the hospital because only a sister would do.

Thankfully she was born.

And not 'he' lol.

There are some things I know. And some things I know with the passing of time. I will speak of both.

My mother had a volatile temper. A beautiful woman, a good heart, with an anger management problem. She would literally explode, and most of the fuel was her low self-esteem at being an immigrant in a new country with HIGH expectations to make 'The American Dream' of riches and prosperity come true.  She also was a mother by circumstance, not by choice, since I was an accident. She tried to have a career, but by the time my sister was on the way, they realized child care was too expensive. So much to her frustration she became a stay-at-home mom.

Christi and mom had a very emotional relationship. With all the anger and yelling going between those two I was able to just hide deep inside myself.

If this anger had been directed at me I would not have been able to survive my own childhood emotionally intact--I needed the stabilizing presence of my maternal grandparents and uncle to help me survive the stress I was exposed to in this limited role.  I could barely take it as it was. 

Christina was my shield, my blessing, and I am eternally thankful to her being a strong personality to engage with mom. I got some of it. But not all I would have gotten had I been an only child.

I know things too. Things I have known for a long time, but don't share because it's a spirit thing and somehow in living our lives doesn't seem important to discuss. I will discuss it here though.

My soul is somehow linked or tied in a cycle of rebirth with my Aunt Edna's soul, and my Grandmother Lucille's soul in reincarnation. I was Grandma Lucille's mom--in the past, and Aunt Edna was my mom going back in time.

I was due for Lucille to come back as my daughter in the pattern.

And Lucille's Life Script had plans for a very intensive, time-consuming life experience in this life.

This soul didn't come to me.

It came to my sister.

The way my guardian angel (Ross) explained it to me many years ago, this soul (my sister's soul) volunteered to assist me in my own assignment!

It wasn't in her own responsibility as a soul to take this on! But her beautiful soul gladly did, and has been a more loving, caring, and capable mother in this situation than I ever could have been ...and I give her thanks.

Even now, with my mother in failing health, Christi has been a solid, unshakable, unflappable advocate for my mother, and also, for our Nana Angelina before that. I was coordinating with her about changing mom's stoma bag next.

I was able to commit and go a few months ago, because I had regular days off. My work assignment is different this month. I have less days off. And my time isn't my own. It's my own after the cases are done and the charge nurse gives me permission to go home. Yesterday I barely got out when I did. The last case at the surgery center followed me by five minutes--that anesthesiologist had to stay the extra hour till all the patients went home, not me. And the main O.R. was down to four rooms. I was call six. So I was able to pick up Anthony from school in time. I had been sweating bullets.

So for today, Christi has a new caregiver who is a nurse from the Philippines scheduled, and asked if I can teach how to change the stoma appliance for the urostomy, and what time?

Mom had misunderstood when I said I could come. She misses me and wants me to come, and doesn't understand my work any more. Mom had relayed the message to Christi like I had all the time in the world.

I explained to Christi since Jared had Anthony I would come after work, whenever after work is. I don't know.

Christi found coverage. She found a way for someone to teach the nurse without me. I don't have to go at all.

See how she helps?

She's absolutely amazing.

All today I will reflect on this kindness from Divine Creator, to allow this wonderful soul to enter my life in the way she did, which has effectively been like a lineman making a play possible on the Spiritual Football Field for me. I couldn't have done any of this Spiritual work without her 'freeing things up'.

And I love being an Auntie to the soul of Grandma Lucille back again. She is the sweetest soul and is very close to me, an amazing, inspirational success in her own right. But that's another story...

My second sister, arrived when the drama was so intense in the home I was ready to 'check out' permanently from life.

I didn't see a reason to live. I wouldn't end it all. But I was going to stop dreaming, and just go through the motions of life. My heart wasn't in it. The stress between friends and school and home was just overwhelming and becoming an adult was too far away.

Mom got pregnant again, with a surprise pregnancy later in life. I was fourteen when Vanessa was born. Christi was so welcoming to this baby, and offered to share her room. I was sort of caught off-guard because I understood just enough how babies are made not to be sure I was okay with the whole thing.

Until she was born.

Babies are incredibly close to Heaven!

Their innocence and delight are infectious!

Vanessa gave me just enough joy from Home--the Heavens--to get me to where I needed to go--college.

I enjoy babies very much.

Now she is going to have her own any time now!

I must get ready for work.

I want you to think, think, think and really go over your life with your heart wide OPEN, and to look for these people who helped you become who you are today.

These incredible souls.

The ones who challenged you, so you could learn to overcome.

The ones who supported you, without asking for anything in return.

The ones who encouraged you, when you needed a smile the most.

We are so close to Awakening we may as well see them for who they are--very important angels--who took on assignments in supportive roles--to make all of our Spiritual work helping to guide others--a success!

(Ross says that I was in a role like this to him, and he wants to publicly acknowledge it, from our past lives together...)

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
The Founders of Doctors With Reiki