Yesterday I had an add-on case. It was booked around two-thirty. I needed to leave my teleconference meeting early to prepare for the case.
The ER was not as fast as the OR was. They wanted the surgeon to write and order to prepare the patient for the OR. The surgeon had booked the case, we were in the ER, preparing the patent for the OR. But without the order the ER wasn't doing anything. Our OR nurse actually went to the OR to get a consent and was bringing it for the patient to sign by the time the actual 'order' was written by the surgeon.
OR had called him to remind him of the cause for the delay. I waited ninety minutes to get this case into the room!
By the time I was done, it was five o'clock.
I promised to see mom. She already had a caregiver change her stoma. I was to go for a visit.
Traffic between my mom's house and my work is as bad as it gets. One and a half hours bumper to bumper, if you are lucky, during rush hour.
I decided, since my work is close to the beach, and I grew up near the beach, to take Pacific Coast Highway instead of the freeway to go to her house.
The energy near the beach is amazing. Beach people are different, they have a different 'vibe' too.
It's ironic how there's lots of luxury hotels and condos, and also, lots of street people, all in the same area.
Then there's the people in the recreational vehicles who basically live on the beach by 'camping' there night after night after night, paying the fee every night.
I have lots of memories by the beach. I enjoyed going past places we used to go. The place our family went for my sister's college graduation dinner. The place we went all the time that used to be called Sam's Seafood, that was like Hawaii on the inside.
I took a turn I thought was a shortcut but wasn't. I ended up at the marketplace where I used to go on dates with Tom. The movie theater. The restaurants were changed but still there. I remember how I used to love to get a shrimp salad with avocado at Bob's Big Boy over there.
I was flooded with memories that really got me in the heart.
I wasn't prepared for it.
My parents had done a really nice job, and I had a good life--even though we were poor--in high school. Those days! Ah! the FREEDOM to just enjoy life and free time with Tom!
I wondered why I left? Why didn't I appreciate what I had at the time? Why did I go off to Berkeley, only to end up here and there and all sorts of places when THIS felt like HOME?!
I drove the long stretch to my mom's house through the old neighborhood...enjoying the feelings of everything being where they always had been, and it was comforting.
That's when Ross stepped in.
He's my Twin, and husband, but first and foremost he's my Guide.
He never holds back from Spiritual truth.
Even the difficult and painful ones.
'Carla? What is it you wanted back then?' he asked clearly, calmly, and with purpose.
I wanted a house and kids and Tom to love me. I didn't want much.
As I drove I noticed how homes had changed, they had added on second stories. All the trees in the park that used to be like sticks were fully mature. The neighborhood was different.
I realized I was different.
'Carla, how would you have felt about all of this area had you chosen to remain?' Ross asked, pointedly.
I would have hated it! I would have felt trapped and like I hadn't lived up to my potential.
Then there was the pain.
Already I was uncomfortable because I realized that life isn't a series of doing what we want to do. it's the illusion of going for what we want, but in the meantime, what we GET is what is 'right for us'. What God wants. Our lessons.
I had been whining to Ross about how boring life is, never getting what you want, always having a lesson, and how comforting it was to be in the old neighborhood with all the security and familiarity from my youth...
That's how I got the questions from him.
And that's how I realized the painful, most painful Spiritual Truth:
THERE IS NO GOING HOME AGAIN
The 'home' I was going to was all in my head, it didn't exist.
Everything had changed, including me, because of all my Life Experiences.
Furthermore, even though I was going to my parent's house, it wasn't exactly that, because dad is gone, and mom needs a nursing home equivalent in her own house.
And I'm lucky to have THAT as in time, that house with all the familiar things in it won't be any more. It will have gone the way of Grandma Lucille's house, my Auntie's houses, my Nana Angelina's house...
Nothing is forever here on the Earth Plane.
Even when I walked the earth with Ross, as his friend and wife...He went on his journeys and changed. And I did too. We loved each other. But we had different Life Scripts.
It made me sad.
It also gave me reason to be thankful for this Spiritual Truth.
As a Light Worker I have been longing, longing, longing for HOME!
You can't go back.
When Ross and I reunite after this assignment...he will have changed...and so will I.
What we will have is our new future together to build, in whatever realm we are given to co-create.
I'm not going to get 'the old Ross' back. There is no 'old Ross'. There is 'Ross that IS'. The one who is present Here and Now. The one who is the sum total of his Life Experiences. This one will love me, same as he always has, same as he always will. He will know me better than I know myself in ways because he hasn't been affected by the veil.
That's why this is titled Apex Freedom. We are climbing the last bit to reach the mountain top.
Let go of your expectations. This Ascension is in a way, one of many we as a group together have accomplished other times, other places. And yet, this one is unique in its own right, and there is no way to predict how things will play out -- specifically--in general we know the outcome. But the details? They are being created as we go.
Do not expect HOME to be the way it was when you left it. Like mom's place, it's been changed a little to meet her needs for her safety. It's close enough to FEEL like HOME. But it's not exactly the same as it was when you left.
The LOVE of Home for you upon your return to the Higher Realms is going to be overwhelming! Positive in every single way.
That's why this lesson came up--to clean up the little space between your ears--your 'expectations'--so you will make the most of everything next which comes along.
Today I was off. I had a lot of catching up to do.
I slept in until eight and it felt wonderful for my sleep-deprived self.
After breakfast (Japanese! I tell you, miso with rice and also with green tea fills you up and makes you not hungry all morning! It's true! and it's amazing!)--and shower, I saw the school had called. I called back. An hour before they had asked permission to give Anthony pain meds. He came on the phone, lower left jaw, very painful, most pain ever since the surgery.
I called the office, no surgeon was in. But the nurse offered to look if I brought him in. If it was infection she couldn't help. If it was dry socket they have a packing that helps.
I had to drop everything and go. It was dry socket.
I had to fight myself to say, 'TRUST! Trust!' for this total monkey wrench thrown into my path.
We came home after the nurse fixed things, and had lunch. Anthony was able to catch up on his homework at home. I didn't do so well with my 'honey do' list for me. But I was able to pack up three shipments, and to mail them. We also had a snack of hot chocolate.
He went to basketball practice, we had dinner.
The secret of the Higher Realms is if you want something to get done, WRITE IT DOWN. Today's twist to this secret is, SOMETIMES SPIRIT WILL CHANGE THE ORDER OF THE TASKS to optimize it -- so get used to it!
I am going to share something not necessarily an opinion shared by Ross--but one of my own right now.
I feel funny about the weather.
I watched the Truman show, how they made the storm for him at the end. They controlled the weather.
Our weather is almost as strange.
We are having floods in Hawaii, snowstorms on the East Coast, wildfires in the midwest and Rocky Mountains, and rain that comes and goes out of the blue in California. Two days in a row, in the morning it looked stormy. Today it rained. And in an hour, it was beautiful again.
I've lived here my whole life. It's NOT like the midwest where you have a rain shower and then it passes all in a day. You see rain coming for days, the thin clouds high up, then the thicker ones, then the darker ones. Then the rain. Then slowly it goes.
I notice all the horrible outcomes of this weather, how it hurts people, and between Ross and myself, we pray for the Highest Good. Always.
I am careful to post because I don't want to feed anything energetically, especially if it's a Truman show type weather 'system'. I don't want to get the page's community energy wrapped up into something because attention is energy, and in Reiki there's an art to acknowledging, sending healing, and then putting the whole things into Trust and Divine Creator of All That Is.
The second part is this: http://www.hawaiinewsnow.com/clip/14284862/kauai-police-say-some-flood-trapped-residents-were-extorted-during-rescues
It makes you sick, doesn't it? Not everyone is on the 'same page' so to speak. Some people exploit these situations. Sometimes the people in need never get the money that is sent in. It's part of human nature I don't like very much, although I acknowledge it exists.
What are you looking forward to after Ascension?
How often do you think about it?
You may want to keep your daydreams to generalities, making sure to appreciate what is in your present Here and Now.
The more you can effectively master the energies of Yourself PLUS your Here and Now (your reactions to What Is, basically, as well as your acceptance and gratitude for it)...the better your Happily Ever After is going to be for you.
There are no 'quick fixes' in anything when it comes to our Consciousness.
Here is one last share.
Mom is thinking about Dad. She says, 'twice a day'. She wants to die, she says. She is 'ready'.
I'm intuitive. I can sense she wants an escape from her life situation. An easy out. She isn't 'ready' in any sense. She's not saying her goodbyes. She's not putting things in order. She's still living the way she has for all my life--being 'in', and 'in the know', and 'being important'. Her ego is living her as 'her', not her 'heart of hearts'. I'll give her the aspect of dementia that's going on, and her stroke too. It doesn't have to be an elaborate 'getting ready'. But there's no signs of Life Review.
She's going to pop up there, see her whole life for what it was (like Grandma Lucille did, I reviewed it with her, pointing out 'areas for improvement' which she noted as if for the first time, understood, as if for the first time, and felt remorse. She said, 'I will make a better show of it if I am given a new body'. I also had shown her how good she was with children, always loving and gentle with them, and it had been her true strength.)...and come back somehow...to get her lessons right.
It's not going to be 'going home' to how life was with her and dad when we girls were little...because she has changed, and dad has changed. The comfort and familiarity will be there. The love.
I read about a near death experience in Venture Inward. I guess I can't share the link I just looked. A healthy high-school athlete was in a terrible car accident. She floated out of her body and stood on a hill watching the rescue. Her dad and grandfather joined her. She felt joy to see her dad and didn't want him to leave. He told her she was going to be okay, but he needed to go to a friend who needed him more. (His living friend had a serious cardiac issue and almost died but made it at the exact same time, she later found out). She had a broken neck, internal injuries, a bad cut on her arm. She made the extensive recovery, walked again, and became a firefighter. Also she learned from her NDE, found the Cayce organization, and lives a more spiritual healing life for others now too.
The afterlife is real. And it's WONDERFUL. After Ascension we will LOVE it!! It's just not going to make all of our problems magically go away...does this make sense?
Ross picked this photo. He has good taste, doesn't he?
Here comes one of my opinions.
If you have an iPhone, you can only put apps on it from the iPhone store.
Unless you 'jail break' it.
There's a way to free it from the restriction, and then you can run any app even android on it.
Remember how I was bummed about not being able to do what I want, and accepted with a little protest 'how things are'? How we get what our lessons are, even when we think we are getting what we want?
I came up with an analogy to the iPhone for people who are on The Other Team, you know, Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart?
These people are like the people at school who skip class and do drugs (what they want to do) out in the schoolyard or parking lot. The students who are truant.
And TWDNHOBIAH, through their 'God'--not ours--have figured out a way to 'jail break' the human psyche...on levels we can see, and those we can't. So truant students--in spirit can all hitch a 'ride' on the incarnate victims who have had their 'core broken' and have 'alters' and a 'system'. (Here is a video that really does a fine job on explaining it with examples--Black Child Reupload on Mind Control)
I hope this simple analogy helps you make sense of the big picture, and helps you not to get lost in the details of the horror of the abuse SRA involves.
Here is something positive to help!
It's time for bed, Ross sweet Ross just reminded me.
He says to you, 'I'll see you tomorrow!'
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Founders of Doctors With Reiki