I was a little cranky this morning when I woke up. I didn't want to create. I didn't want to do anything. I spoke with Ross, and he sent me up to Divine Father. I shared from my heart, how upset I am with lessons! lessons! lessons! I don't even want to co-create anything because like some vegetable I would not eat if offered it plainly, there is some type of lesson disguised within or tacked on to the very thing I desire!
Divine Father took me to a small white room, where there was a low table in white, and took out some crayons and paper, and sat next to me. He said, 'I will color with you.'
He asked me, 'what do you wish to draw?'
I couldn't think of any scene, any item, anything, that would bring me joy to create. I told him this.
Then he paused, thoughtfully, and asked, 'what colors do you like today?'
I liked purple. It gives good contrast. It's not often found in nature. I started to color scribbles on the paper.
Next thing I knew, I was inside a giant purple jump house, and I could move and jump! Divine Father had created it for me, so I could enjoy purple, and also, to help spark my desire to work with him and co-create.
I jumped a little, but then I wanted out, and Ross took me home with him. To the lower vibrations, not where Divine Father lives. As he was saying 'goodbye', Divine Father kneeled and told me when I get stuck just to go have some fun.
I realized how unhappy I am with my work and my work schedule. All of the guessing, all of the changes. One day I start at seven in the morning, another, at nine! Yesterday I had a six a.m. group meeting, then a cancelled case, some work, then my boss dumped his last case on me. He knew I would have to recover the patients, staying one extra hour unpaid until they went home. I had told him I needed to leave Anthony at Starbucks at five thirty in the morning to attend the meeting. He didn't care. Anyhow, Anthony didn't go to Starbucks--the day before he had a dry socket, and my friend agreed to take him to follow up appointment at eight thirty--so he was in bed. This is another example of Spirit intervening to make things better, for the big picture, but it's a little jumpy and startling when these interventions happen, so that makes me cranky too.
I called Anthony and asked him to see if a friend could take him home? I was going to be an hour late, and the school charges one dollar a minute. Indeed he did, a nice couple with three kids--she's a veterinarian and he is the one who sold me Anthony's bike for Christmas. I met them at the pizza place. I had longed for pizza on Friday, going out, like when I was a kid. And somehow, it happened!
I manifested it.
This brings me to the basic 'gist' of this blog post: the tension between what you want, and what Spirit wants you to get.
This is a huge reason behind 'the fall' and all the darkness--getting what you want. You can see Rihanna openly counseling random schoolchildren that she worships S-t-n because 'he gives you what you want'...there's YouTube on that.
The thing is, when you get what you want that way, it never is enough, it never pleases you and makes you feel warm in your heart. So in a way, even 'what you want' doesn't fulfill you.
The other thing I complained about to Divine Father about my unhappiness, is the exertion it takes to create what I want in the material world--it's like doing push ups with a heavy creature on my back! The Dark Ones suck the life energy out of us, like draining our blood, through taxes, rules, regulations and all the rest...
In this He said that layer will be removed, and it will be easier to co-create in the future; all Dark Influences will be gone, forever, and this is soon.
Here is a video to watch please:
The part that is important is the succession of soul progress/levels, at least for this discussion.
On Earth, we have a Life Script we have chosen and written with our guides. But there are many distractions!
This is why our lessons are so difficult for us sometimes. Why the school is so hard, especially if we are Light Workers.
We need to keep to our Life Script.
Our lives are technically 'our own', but our life experience is definitely NOT 'ad lib'. And all of these gentle and persistent redirections back to our Life Script Curriculum...annoying as they are...are from Love. Pure and Unconditional Love for us to help us (and to help us help others) return back to our home after the Fall.
I would love nothing more than to just experience this:
I don't see why we must always go shopping and work to support ourselves if indeed we are Divine Creator Beings.
Those kinds of decisions/creativity are very limiting and get old.
Not that we have a choice! But they do get old and get me down, sad, despondent...not just for the decision-making, but the bills to pay, for the whole system. Including work and the politics.
Sometimes random things help to cheer us up from this existence where it seems that our guides do not practice customer service the way other institutions do here on Earth.
Yesterday Anthony and I were home and watching the baseball game. The Angels have been doing awful. Lost four straight games. Some by a lot. I can see the 'entertainment' factor, how the calls tend to favor a team...and the psychology with the fans by the winning and losing.
As a matter of fact he wanted to turn off the TV in the seventh inning when the score was eight to nothing. It was painful for him to watch.
I wanted to see it. I'm not a fair-weather fan! I hoped to see at least another run so it's not a shutout.
Then Anthony noticed it.
The best part of the game.
When left-handed batters were up to bat, the camera caught a small portion of the diamond club section behind home plate. And on the very top right, was a dwarf who noticed he was on camera.
He began to dance.
Then he turned around and started to wiggle his bottom.
Then he started to rub it for the camera.
And the camera quick cut away, even though the batter was still up.
We rewound the baseball game--laughing hysterically--at the moxie of this little man stealing the show.
Sure enough, he was rubbing his nipples and smiling at the camera.
He was dancing more.
He was perking up and doing all kinds of crazy antics when he caught himself in the view screen! His family was with him, and they joined in too!
Of all the crazy things!
Our losing game, became the best game, and the only one we recorded.
Our Friday night, was really funny and enjoyable.
All because of one person who had the nerve to be himself for everyone to see--and to make fun of the whole system!
You were clear-headed when you created your Life Script.
You decided to incarnate with full reasoning and full access to all Knowledge that there is.
You may not like being incarnate--and the dense energies may get you down sometimes, as they did recently me.
The only way out is to Love What Is and to accept it.
And to count the time till you are not incarnate any more.
Do the best you can, and angels can do no better.
I had been asked by Ross to share something yesterday for this blog post, I just remembered now.
Sylvia Browne wrote about how there is like, a 'major' and a 'minor' in our Life Script curriculum, just like in college. Hers was 'Humanitarian Loner'. She was sent for her major, to help people, which she did, with her gifts. But her 'minor' was to be alone.
She was married three times before she gave up. One husband even put a gun to her head. So at the end, she had her dogs and that was it.
These 'majors' typically present as 'the one thing you can never get right, no matter what you do'.
They are--I recall-- health, money, love, success, things like that.
Why are they here?
I don't know.
To make us better co-creators?
To make us consistently more positive even in challenge?
I wish I knew.
All I know is it exists and if you are in the midst of one of these--don't be hard on yourself about it, and love yourself unconditionally--because it IS, and it's going to be that way for a long time, and you don't want to suicide over it because the karma and the lesson will only come back again.
Now I am going to make breakfast and work in the garden.
Today is a nothing day.
Ross still is working on his message for the next time.
He says he loves me and is going to support me in my 'funk' -- he apologizes for the delay in getting his message to you.
He says everyone gets in a funk every now and then, even up there in Heaven, and he knows how to support me through it.
He wishes you a happy Earth Day too.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Founders of Doctors With Reiki