Work abuse continues...I did eat a sandwich for lunch, and a quesadilla for dinner, which is an improvement. But the jockeying for 'the best cases' is so bad the nurses notice, and one high up suggested I proposed a CRNA-only model with anesthesia supervising, and ME as the contract holder.
I know in my heart, this isn't the right HOURS for me. I love the people. And the patients too. But somehow I feel like the lack of sleep, the lack of knowing when I am coming out of the hospital, and the rest is psychologically damaging to me.
I had a patient who needed an arterial line. I just couldn't get it to thread. I had had pulsatile flow. The surgeon was in a hurry. And then when I tried for the second i.v. line, that too, was unable to thread. I had blood all over my jacket and pants, and had to change before my next case. During the bustle, I said, 'there are times at work where my soul just cries for my mother!'.
My colleagues said, 'you are a GOOD anesthesiologist! We understand!' but I still said 'some days my soul cries for mom and now is one of them.'
It's too much.
It's way too much.
And MANY anesthesiologists and physicians are leaving the ranks!
At a sister hospital the OB service is desperate to find people to cover the shifts. Nobody wants to be up all night working for nothing, or at least, next to nothing. Remember, each case you do, you are open to the risk of being sued, having your license taken away, and increased cost to your malpractice insurance..risk never goes away to the provider...ever.
My hospital effective July 1 will not accept CalOptima (except through Monarch, another insurance).
I also got a 'dear doctor' letter--to me as a provider--that effective August 1, my hospital won't take anthem-blue cross. I should find other hospitals for my patients who have that insurance.
I have that insurance! I'm self-insured! (it's a silver pathway obamacare)
Fortunately this time I didn't panic. I know the local Catholic hospital system doesn't take it. Now my work hospital won't. Perhaps the university hospital I used to go to will? They double charge for everything though--facility fee plus doctor fee, even for an office visit that's routine...
I won't panic.
There's plenty going on with the awakening that I think in a short time (till 2018, or possibly sooner, it 'feels')...it won't be much of an issue.
At work I feel camaraderie between souls. Patients and providers. Colleagues. People are sharing more, they are helping MORE (except the lone greedy ones)...I can't put my finger on it but something has changed for the better.
This isn't an accident.
There are filters across the globe -- energy ones--to achieve the separation and awakening needed to compensate for the inertia of the sleeping masses.
The one thing more wicked than the place I went to they day before yesterday has been addressed by souls who outrank me and Ross. It's the entire organization of religion, where many dark things have been hidden. It's being cleaned out. (rumors have it the church of Baal/Satan is directly beneath and below St. Peter's and the Vatican in Rome. If you've studied Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart, you will understand the implication of this cleansing.) Now many religious items/images are emitting the diamond flame energy to cleanse and soothe and heal those who turn to them for strength.
As an aside, Anthony's father did an amazing thing for his son. He broke up with his girlfriend. She went behind his back on this school in Vegas, and even signed a lease without his knowing it. He can't go to the house until her stuff is out by Wednesday...
I was talking with my mom last night to share. She had been praying all day for Anthony because he needs his dad, and her wish came true. (It also did for me to leave the hospital by nine pm instead of eleven pm).
She shared how the adopted son across the street, his wife who divorced him left the messiest mess. It's taking him and his mom truck loads to clean it out. Wet clothes filled with mold, totally filthy. She apparently had remarried already and he didn't know. But she had taken out credit cards in his name, maxed them out, and stuck him with the debt while they were still married! He has fifty thousand dollars in debt, and he 'doesn't make much' according to my mom. This is ruining his life, and essentially making him a slave to the credit card companies.
People like her are going to be sent straight to Pan.
Many of those who just don't get it, and aren't ready for Heaven on Earth her on Gaia, are being escorted out. Their souls might have a walk in or a hologram for the rest of us, but the 'spark' that does such harm is moving on. It's just not compatible and they have to go. They have overstayed their welcome.
The needs of the whole outweigh the educational needs of the few; superimpose this in the 'whole' with the planet, and her delicate ecosystems. Pan is another dimension/planet/reality for people to seamlessly 'switch' to more 3D but it can't be hijacked like this one was by Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart.
One last thing--vortexes and ley lines--they are moving around. There's a new grid. Don't get too 'into' them. Here's a conversation I read about that made me think to remind you: