I can see Haleakala from where I sit. Right now there is rain, and on the dry side of Hawaii, rain is a special thing to enjoy. The ground smells damp, and it's still warm and balmy. The clouds are thick, and I expect the sunset to be a brilliant red in a short time.
A magpie just landed steps away from me. Earlier I saw a brilliant chameleon on a lily plant eating ants. This morning I swam with sea turtles, saw a moray eel, and enjoyed the company of thousands of brilliantly colored tropical fish.
I am truly in my Heaven on Earth, and soaking in every minute of the healing I can.
That being said, life is not without its lessons.
The ones since Saturday have proven fruitful, and I would like to share them with you.
I know they will sound simple to read and resonate, but to LIVE them and to resonate with them as your truth is something Ross has been gently -- most gently guiding me--at this time.
I am going to present the lesson in a way that is less roundabout and more direct than for me to arrive to it.
See these two guys up here in wood?
The tikis?
These aren't just ordinary decorations. These 'gentleman' are at Puuhonua O Honaunau--the Place of Refuge.
There was a time Hawaii wasn't a nice place. One Kapu broken and you were KAPUT! There were many laws, and things as trivial to us as walking on the king's shadow resulted in immediate death!
Well...you can imagine some people wanted to escape rather than face the consequences of breaking a Kapu. And they did. If they could find their way to this place, and never leave, their lives were spared.
Refuge isn't only limited to a place--a church--or an island temple.
Refuge is a vibration we carry with us in our hearts.
Refuge is an acceptance for all things as they are, including ourselves.
With it comes the peace which is beyond all understanding.
With it comes the Divine Frequency of Home.
(I have tears in my eyes. There is a sign right now. It's the keiki--OMG--bless them and their pure hearts. A little girl about six has a conch shell. The guy with the fire invited her and her little sister to help him --OMG now they are singing IZ white sandy beach at the restaurant, the professional dude too--anyhow I just saw the little precious girl and the hotel guy face the four directions and blow the conch in unison, to welcome the nightfall and gather us all to the village for the night.)
We most definitely ARE Home!
How exactly did I arrive at this point?
Through the gift of frustration.
Through the gift of not being able to hear Ross as close as I am accustomed to.
Through the gift of others 'doing their thing'...for example, Anthony got a horrible sunburn. I gave Reiki, it's fine now, probably not going to peel. But we had to drive to town to get wide brimmed hats, more sunscreen, aloe vera gel...We limited our activities from ten to two to avoid the sun. He could stay on the couch and watch Netflix episodes of Friends all day! He has NO curiosity, NO ambition, NO desire to ever leave and explore the island.
But...that's HIM.
It's not ME.
I know in twelve step groups there are saying like 'The courage to change what I can and the wisdom to accept what I can't and know the difference' (I can't recall it perfect today sorry).
In twelve step groups you can be happy even if your surroundings in life are in shambles--as long as you know what's on YOUR side of the street, and not try to fix theirs.
Out there we have people pushing all kinds of buttons, some painful ones for me from betrayal that led to Ross' death--and the nasty accusations of me being a horrible person (from many many years ago)...we have others online saying just about every iteration of 'info' and 'disinformation'...to the point where it's painful to those who know who they are, and are doing lots of work behind the scenes to get this whole project going to completion--and just about everyone has an opinion. (The people who say they are Divine Mother Incarnate are too numerous to count, and every one makes the real one sad in a big way, and hurt).
I've been battling those feelings of low self-esteem that were brought on by some very angry accusations. Self-doubt. Despair. Very old feelings from being helpless many incarnations ago, from a similar volatile split back after Ross passed so many years ago.
I was on my own, back then. Totally and completely on my own, without anyone close like Ross that I could turn to.
I made it.
I made it then, and I made it now.
What is a gift about this time is the scars from the past are revisited, and I see I don't have to carry them around with me any more.
When I was in the ocean, snorkeling, I felt like Anthony--who doesn't really have a passion for fish like I do but he enjoys them--had been holding me back. The painful flippers. I bought new ones. The snorkel. The camera. Yada yada yada.
Ross told me frustration isn't 'real', but it IS a valuable tool to help us learn our lessons.
Everyone is doing the best they can at this point in the Illusion to live out their own Truth as they see it.
And it's not going to coincide with yours or mine every single day, and that's OKAY.
It's expected.
I've come to a point in life where everyone is beautiful. They are incarnate, they are alive, and they are trying their best to get through their life.
I may disagree with them, I might not like their life choices (for example, hardened criminals)--but all of us are trying to enjoy our gift of being alive--as best as we can.
In a way, Anthony is a little disadvantaged due to his pale skin and fair complexion. He's only twelve and he can't understand why I bug him so much about the sunscreen. He loves watching Friends and it helps him 'escape' I'm not sure from what, but there are lots more like him than me who enjoy watching it too. The beauty is we can adapt, we can negotiate, we can still find ways to enjoy the trip despite the limitations.
And THIS is one of the greatest gifts of spirit for humanity--this ability to 'cut a little slack' and 'make the best of it' for what it is.
Ross let me know frustrated or not, your life is going to carry you to your life lessons, and sometimes it's better to go along with the current and let it carry you along. The current of energy that flows through life is much like the flowing of water. And besides, if you relax while you are floating with the water you might see something really good!
Today I saw ulua (black fish with electric blue trim and fancy fins). Yesterday I saw flounder who is very hard to see. Every day has it's gifts.
This is the fern grotto. The Hawaiian Wedding song is played here for the newlyweds on Kauai. It is a very special and romantic place which is only accessible by riverboat. I went there twenty-nine years ago, on my first trip to the Hawaiian Islands. This same week!
Life is a wonderful, miraculous gift!
Even if sometimes we don't appreciate it.
And as we grow and learn more about the spiritual, what is really really special about the things we can't see, we learn to appreciate it for ourselves.
Sometimes others wish to learn this from us.
This is where it gets tricky. As long as we resonate deeply with our own essence--and are going along learning our own lessons too--we can guide others.
Guiding is an art. It must be learned.
We must remember how to be the guides we have been trained to be for incarnations and incarnations--each incarnation--anew.
Sometimes it isn't pretty.
And it's nobody's fault.
It just is.
Life will carry you to your next lesson...it will carry all of us to the next one.
Everything exists in a state of Divine Perfection. Yes! It is when you factor the life lessons and the growing and spiritual part of it in. It might not be easy, any particular situation, but we are at last at the vibration of Home.
And the little children are here to show us the way.
I saw it with my two eyes at sunset tonight on the Big Island.
I hope I hear Ross a little bit more now I hope my lesson is complete...at least...this one. <3
aloha and Mahalos
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple
