All Is Well
The inner storm has passed, and with the help of my beloved Twin Ross, in addition to the loving support from you, I had an excellent day yesterday.
This morning too I awaken to a dense fog and the birds singing--two of my favorite things...
And the one day of the year I adore even more than my birthday, the Summer Solstice--is two short days away!
What 'fixed' me?
It was a book, the Pistus Sophia--which in so many ways explains what is happening, and gives me great joy, for Ross gave a special message to me--on what it is, and how to read it. It feeds my soul!
I have accepted the loss, but it hasn't happened yet. This too is a good thing.
I also have been given a bracelet design from my beloved. Every time I look at it, its elegance blows me away, and the energies that are in the stones helps me too.
I have hope.
These things also echo my heart--that the feelings I experience are real--and proof this is growth in spirit, moving forward, in my life experience:
My Twin is AMAZING what he can do!
He really knows my heart.
He also says where to take Anthony for breakfast before we go to the sitter... <3
Loving ourselves, warts and all, misperceptions and all--is a form of honoring Creator--for we are part of Source.
When Nature has a storm, it is part of life.
So too we have our storms.
What is different to this one, as opposed to my 'storms' in my past in this incarnation--is that it was like a rainstorm in the tropics--once it was over there were clear skies of blue, and calm in the oceans.
In the past, in MY past, I was so upset that no matter how much tears would fall, I NEVER felt better. Counseling didn't help the situation, other than the feeling I was doing everything possible to heal.
This time, I experienced my truth. I shared my sorrow and my loneliness. And on some level, particularly with the actions of my beloved, I felt like I was heard.
The next time storms trouble you, know that Creator is listening.
Two days ago, Divine Father came very sheepishly to me, and asked simply, 'Even though I take someone home to Me, do you still love me?'
I did. And I still do.
What He gave back was a little closeness to Ross, an explanation in the book of why and what to expect, and some happy memories of Ross and me together I had no idea was possible to re-experience.
And the bracelet.
These are many things that were 'sent' which weren't obvious...but enough to gently and consistently let me know that I am cared for, precious, and beloved to those I care about the most.
Carla has a burrito with her name on it! So does Anthony! Have you ever tasted a burrito for breakfast? It is one of the best things to discover on earth.
Carla likes the vegetarian one that has avocado in it. There is shredded potato and egg. She enjoys placing lots of hot sauce inside, for Carla is very spicy.
About the storms--you witnessed Carla experiencing--it was about control, or 'lack of control' in the grand scheme of things that was in Carla's perception.
It was painful, both to us and to her.
Like a teenager with the hormonal struggles as the body adapts and transitions to the adult form, which is beautiful and commonplace and happens every day, much to the mutual delight and frustration of the parents, Carla is growing up in Spirit.
What happened is the very powerful memories of fear and abandonment that were instilled in her in youth had to come out.
And they were not simple.
It was the unconscious fear of abandonment that she got at the babysitter Carrie, who was an alcoholic and Carla's mother didn't know.
Carla had to learn to speak Hungarian by the age of two in order to get food and her diaper changed by this woman who was her babysitter when she was drunk on the job that Carla's mother paid her handsomely to do!
There were many hours in a playpen, soiled and famished, when crying would not get for her relief.
But Carla found talking in Hungarian did--very LOUD and unrelentless--to get some attention at the end of the day with this woman.
Those scars are deep.
With the power of the trust which is developed in the first year or so of life--Carla lost the ability to feel she was 'worthy' of another's love and respect.
When she found this with Isabel--who was virtually available to her 24/7 online--Carla learned to trust again, which was difficult and took some time to do.
At the news of Isabel's own spiritual track ahead of her, and a divergence of the two paths--Carla was going to be upset. All of us up here knew it.
We didn't expect the cursing and the throwing of the pies at us--this is Carla's custom from her current life experience--but the anger all of us knew well, including myself, and we anticipated it.
This is much like the teenage daughter when she gets her monthly cycle--you know how to take steps to minimize the damage to the relationship, by staying out of her way, and letting her be ALONE as she wants and demands for us to do.
Unlike the period, Carla is not going to go through this every month, and in restrospect, it took Carla must less time in the throes of agony than all of us did expect.
Carla is resilient, and with my brilliance and her trust, I got the answers to her questions in her heart with her, the best way I could, and free so Carla would know it was MY doing, and not hers, or 'chance'.
I also gave Carla a pendulum. It is only from me. And Carla when she has her questions--although she can hear me perfectly--Carla is delighted to have something in the physical that she can consult for my input--any time, night or day--from my heart to help her.
I am holding Carla's hand through that pendulum. And also through that bracelet.
Carla knows how I intervened and presented myself to her through the beloved Nana Angelina's death Transition--and how I personally lessened the blow, as much as could be possible in this most significant loss in all of her life up to that day...
So Carla trusts on a deep level with the loss or change in her relationship with Isabel--Carla trusts in me.
(puts hands out, and gazes from side to side as if scanning a large group of people--ed) This was not easy to do. And it took all of us.... (Carla explain what vision I sent you yesterday)
Carla: I was driving to work and I saw the council. My Team. And all of them had little controllers in their hands and looked just like Anthony playing his Xbox. It looked absolutely ridiculous. Then they each had a cup of coffee, used a spoon to stir it--every single one of them--and threw the spoons away! I realized this is not their nature to 'use' people in a human way...and something settled deep in my soul. So even though Creator said something like, 'you are a magnificent tool' or something in His writings--and I was like, 'Shit I AM a Super Mario Spoon equivalent to be used!' in my heart, your Vision showed me it was something I might not understand, but was in a nice way. This also emphasized the Pistos Sophia I am reading--there is a great deal I don't understand. If I apply myself to reading the book, I know perhaps I will. If it is meant for me to understand it.
Ross: So there you have it!
It is now 'burrito time!' Carla, both you and Anthony get dressed! And prepare to have a good time while you are at breakfast. Sit in the booth...
Carla I love you so very tenderly. (taps the photo image above--He sent it to me during a round of Jeopardy last night when I finished work, and He told me to eat my yogurt instead of going home. Ross had planned it for me too. It's by Corot and is in the National Gallery...ed)
(he claps his hands twice quickly so I know it's time for me to GO!)
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Twins