There is a panda in that tree.
Right in the middle.
He is looking at you.
I wish I could hide like that.
Today is Monday.
I don't want to go to work.
For the same reason many patients don't want to go.
We are both afraid of the pain.
For them, it's surgery, disfigurement, maybe a bad diagnosis.
For me, it's the rush, the lack of food, the politics, and being locked in a dark room at the mercy of a surgeon who can take as long as they want to get done.
Me, on the other hand, between cases, get to interview a new patient, eat, use the restroom, make business calls, and relax. Try doing that in less than twenty minutes with a surgeon breathing down your back to go faster.
It's not fair. And I don't like it.
I miss my son and my home.
I desperately need vacation. I had two weeks in July. Two days in September. I am spent and there are no more days in sight.
I take lots of OB call because that call is like 'turtle', not 'rabbit'. In exchange for a night of my life in my home, I get the next day and night off. I am sleepy, but free.
I hardly ever exercise. And I miss it.
Something is wrong with the practice of medicine. Where all the healers are all burnt up.
With Reiki, I can maintain, keep moving forward. I enjoy the Reiki part with my patients because in that brief moment, the energy is WAY UP. At my natural vibration. All the rest is like slogging through mud.
And being behind on my real work--my family, my friends, and my home.
I hope one day this lifestyle will change for all of us.