I was deeply moved by the sharing and writing of Lisa Frideborg yesterday in which she shared more about her personal life as a child growing up. It was turbulent, and torment. Her Instagram is tarotize.
Here is what she said, 'to some people I probably just come across as aloof and not as someone who is struggling or who could do with a bit extra compassion and understanding. Not everybody suffering from childhood trauma and abuse reacts the same way. Not everyone goes down the route of acting out and doing drugs or engaging in other forms of blatant self-abuse. Some of us just shut down, isolate ourselves, hunker down and become workaholics instead.'
She added in the comments, as she ran out of room in the post, '...some days are still a struggle and dealing with social situations may never stop feeling like a nightmare. I go into so much overwhelm that probably only other CPTSD survivors will be able to understand. I can literally be completely drained for weeks after a big event. Yet I know that isolation is a form of slow suicide. The less real connections we have, the sooner we die -- science has proven this quite recently.'
Lisa has crossed a threshold in her rising Consciousness and healing, where she realizes that the defenses which helped her to survive her tumultuous childhood...might not be working so well for her now.
I had a mother who raged. I learned quickly to avoid setting her off, to become invisible. I shut down emotionally and became a workaholic too.
Take the time, when you are ready, to examine your past and how it made you the way you are. If everything is working for you, great. If you'd like to upgrade anything about yourself, if you want to do it, you put your effort into it, and why not give it a go? Ask for Divine Support.
The time is slipping away, I have an early start.
There's one more thing to share. Lisa is also on Linked In. She had an incredible channeling from Metatron. As I read it, I had my big 'AHA!' moment.
The day before yesterday, at work, I had no other options. My boss is angry and upset with me. I had to 'turn on the charm'. Really engage with the patients, and the surgeons, and the nurses. It's hard and a lot of energy but I kept it up. My way out is to make sure he doesn't hear about me. If I'm doing bad, he will.
I had a funny sensation while I was really going over the top to 'connect'. I felt my consciousness in my heart center combining with my yellow chakra, and I felt Divine energy coursing through me. It was new, something I'd never done. But I realized I had the mental ability to be Present, and with this Presence, there is great ability to change situations and outcomes with that power of the intention/mind.
THIS is the 'I AM' presence that they talk about.
It took me getting my butt kicked at work to stumble across it. I'll be using it today. It takes a little coordination, like riding a bicycle, to get the hang of it. I'm sure I have this ability back Home. It's just a matter of familiarizing myself with it in this context.
And also, if you were badly abused in childhood, take consolation in one small gift--it makes you psychic. What happens is our psychic abilities are in our aura, they are around us, but not in our waking/conscious state. When the child is abused, there is nowhere to hide but UP into those very psychic parts of the aura that we normally do not connect. At least where we used to connect but it was conditioned out of us by the system. I know I also became quite adept at reading body language just to prevent any blowups that might impact me. The nostril flaring, the look in the eye, the mouth...she had a hair-trigger temper and there wasn't much warning but in time I learned to get out of the way and not push any buttons. This is a difficult concept to explain, but just know in addition to all the things we have heard--life lessons, karma, being a teacher for the other soul and 'signing up for it'--abuse is a difficult topic, it's very hard to heal, PTSD never goes away, and CPTSD is even harder to live with. But...there is one small gift...and it's likely your psychic abilities got kick-started or jumper-cabled early on in Life. And psychic gifts are rare and you are able to excel at it.
Back to the I AM presence experience--it feels good. It feels nurturing, warmth, love and compassion from the inside.
I hope to feel it some more today.
Take heart.
Know you are loved, you have a Divine Purpose, and everything is happening right on schedule for your part in the liberation of Earth and her people and her creatures and her delicate ecosystems.
Ross is quiet. Not sure if he's watching (this is my lesson) or just has work he's working hard on. Either way, I must leave the house soon and get to work early. For the rest of my career, 'on time is late and early is on time'...
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Twins
P.S. My mom and I have healed our relationship. She was very unhappy during my childhood, she hated the neighborhood. She felt our house was too close to the neighbors. She could hear them when they were in the toilet. And also, she was dieting really a lot and on diet pills (amphetamines). She's okay now. Very caring and supportive. I enjoy our relationship very much.
