Thursday, July 20, 2017


I am sorry if this is almost cryptic.

There isn't much time before I must go start my day.

There is SO much information I want to get 'out' to you.

First of all, I am better. A good night's sleep helps after a shock like I had the other day at work.  During the whole experience, I kept wondering, 'why me?' and 'how could I manifest this?!'...well, at yesterday's debriefing session with risk management and quality department and all the OR managers and key players, I spoke.

It had to be me to speak on behalf of the patients. Out of the whole department, I have the most experience in massive resuscitation. I know the equipment. I know the way it is classically done. I have taught it for over ten years. I have the notches on my belt for lives saved.  People listened. People were rapt in listening to me, my story, and how I felt--how I felt in the situation,  how I felt as the leader of the team, how I felt being left alone to talk with the family, how I felt being forced to sign blood forms I didn't need to sign because of rules our nurses didn't understand, how I felt not being able to chart it until everyone else went home (the cleaning people were telling me to move my feet while I was at the computer so they could mop),  how I felt not to be given support, time or space to process my emotions and cry over having seen what I saw and done everything I could think of to save a life and have it fail.

Again later yesterday, I was catching up on my FB stuff (can't do it in the OR now even when patient is stable), I got a call.

What is the the biggest concern for your community?

I don't know. The high cost of living?

There is an epidemic of mosquito-borne illnesses. It needs MORE than eliminating standing water. How would you feel about airborne spraying of 'harmless chemicals that are safe to humans, birds and animals' to reduce the risk? The CDC recommends it.

I am strongly against it.

People are dying. Young and old are at risk. Would you change your mind?

I am strongly against it.

Zika, encephalopathy, west nile, dengue are x,y, and z, would you change your mind?

(I know full well what those things are. I also know full well, with my medical and chemical background, what those 'harmless chemicals' are. I know the mosquito department is also the rat abatement for the county, and they do a shitty job at that. How can I trust them?)  I am strongly against it.

Which statement is with you? A) this is poison from the sky and it's not worth the risk?  B) scientists and experts say it's safe so I guess I'm okay with it.

No poison from the sky. It isn't worth the risk. I am strongly against it...

They needed my voice!!!

I think perhaps we should bring in lots of bats and birds to eat the mosquitoes, or whatever else eats them...frogs in ponds? Who knows. I wonder what that 'harmless chemical' does to the bees?

Divine Father brought me up to visit him yesterday. I sat on a porch swing with him. He offered me his favorite drink--not lemonade but in a tall cool glass like that--it tasted a little like lime and mint.

We had a heart to heart.

I asked him about the whole Twin thing, how I was once one and split into me and Ross.  I had questions.  He reassured me I fully knew the risks, and accepted them. He also asked me what I learned?

I said I always ache for him and I miss Ross.  And even in life, I learned he could hurt me, disappoint me, and yet have moments of joy with him too that were priceless.

Divine Father said we are here for the experiences. There is no control exactly over what we experience when we choose them before we are born. Everything has a reason and it's all for the good.

He also told me the part of me that is a Seraphim and is in that bright room singing praises 24/7 is STILL there, doing just that, even though I am here too. I 'sensed' its the 'no time or distance' property of the Higher Realms that is how it's possible...

He also told me this song is the only thing that will help me prepare for the upcoming changes (the End of the End Times, or perhaps, the next Big Thing--perhaps the Lions Gate 8/8/17--star alignments)

It's good.

It also marks a HUGE HUGE HUGE transition for me in my entire metaphysical belief system.

Up until then, I thought of the 'battle' we are in, and here as 'ground crew' with 'lots of angelic support' as going with THIS song--I also remembered it and played it full up in the car on the way home --The Carmina Burana--

When I first heard this at sixteen, I cried. It's all about life. All about our struggles with our dark shadow selves, and those exposed to us of others. Behind the music I felt the power of the Divine, and it's ability to overcome all of that.

That's the transition.

From struggle to joy.

I want you to think about that today.

And the seventies song, September, is STRONGER in all vibrations--in every dimension, than O Fortuna and it's struggles.

The end of the end is here.

And it's blessed.

Thank you again, and Ross waves and smiles and urges me to get moving. xoxoxo

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
The Twins