I had plans.
I had wanted to go home around dinner time (something so rare for my profession!) and relax while Anthony was with his father.
The Universe had other plans for me.
The acuity (how sick they are) of my patients is going up. Exponentially. I'm not sure if people are getting sicker or they are just not going to the hospital in time.
For example, most bariatric surgeries were with patients whose BMI's were in the thirty-five to forty range.
Now I see BMI's of fifty more than once a day.
People who are in their twenties and thirties are having to go to the unit for sepsis and respiratory failure after surgery.
And sometimes, people are ready to die but the family 'wants everything done'...so you give them their chance.
I understand it.
Recently I was involved in a situation where I insisted a colleague come help with the case it was so risky.
Indeed it was.
We, as a group of specialists, all working together, followed the guidelines from the Heart Association again and again and again.
Many hours were spent in this efforts.
I couldn't even chart, I was so busy, and at the end I had to go back and count all the empty transfusion and resuscitation packages...it took a long time.
During the case, I looked up, and oddly enough, I saw Ross--three feet off the floor were his feet, as his dimension is there--smile and give me a friendly wave by waving his fingers.
I had seen miracles in the case.
I had asked for Raphael and Ross to guide me, and we --the medical team--kept going back and forth, back and forth with the efforts, sometimes winning, sometimes not with the situation at hand.
Out of exhaustion, my heart cried out to the soul of the patient--'please decide! please decide if you are to stay or go, either way is acceptable, no one will fault you, but please decide one way or the other--soon!'
New unrecognizable rhythms came--none of the brady or tachycardia rhythms. Shockable ones came. We treated again--with some response...until the last slowing of the heart.
Our teams were devastated.
The family was devastated.
I am glad there was time given for me to rest.
The scheduler who answers the phones offered me support and a hug. She said it's hard work we do. It's 'hard on the eyes, and hard on the body...most people would never know.'
I was thankful for it.
Update on Aunt Mercedes who just turned one hundred years old in New Hampshire, the one who also has stage four lung cancer. My cousin texted me that she has only hours to days to live. She is not responsive, confused, and the oxygen isn't working (she hadn't needed it at her party). She's decompensating.
While I was at the party, I saw--UP--the party being prepared for her welcome. I could see the bustle of activity, and my relatives up there waiting to receive her.
She was going to go from one party to the next, basically.
That's why I asked Ross to promise to help her personally when it's her time to cross. I asked him that for her brother Ralph and my Aunt Claire too, both who are in their nineties.
Ross said yes.
At work I can't be on the phone like I used to. There's new rules. I hope you understand. I also have to work full time now, because we are short. At least it's not OB. They said it's for the fall months--perhaps only that. I will do what I can.
For those of you waiting for things, I have a letter and a certificate for a Ross Bondo, and two more Bondo requests to follow up. I'm not sure if I sent Carrie S her two bracelets, and I know Alliene's I need to make and Nicole's too.
I look forward to times for these good relaxing activities.
I also haven't forgotten the certificates for my Reiki students for Gaia Sophia Reiki 2.
In the meantime, I adapt. I've heard reports we are 'closer to the end'--resolution of the Ascension process, and to relax, from multiple people and sources (about three or four, not a lot, but very good sources).
So keep going within, meditating, and doing your best.
Ross asked me the other night to imagine my dream home. I am. And also, I'm imagining my dream job. Until it's time to do something else, I am practicing my skills to co-create. I hope you practice yours too.
(Ross wants me to put a video up--I can't quite get the link to go. It's on the Vice FB page, posted on June 18, with Shaft Uddin 10 Questions you always wanted to ask a Tantric Expert'. Shaft Uddin has a youtube channel, I can't find it there. And I can't find it on the Vice page. I can't even give you a link. But I 'sense' he wants you to think and to decide for yourselves if 'there is something there' to this 'Tantra Thing' from a 'reputable teacher'. He wants you to see if you 'remember' anything deep in your soul that calls to you after seeing this. Ross says 'remember there were Puritans!' in our heritage here in the states--and religious conformity elsewhere. He also doesn't want you to watch the Unicorn films as he doesn't agree with that at all. He says, 'have fun!')
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla