Passion

I want to talk to you today about a special kind of courage.

It's only something we who are incarnate often take for granted...that it's like this for all souls who have ever lived across the galaxy...

But it isn't.

Only here, those who are incarnate, have the opportunity to reach their limit.

Whether it is emotionally, physically, financially, mentally, psychologically...what cannot take place in other parts of Creation happen here routinely.

And sometimes we forget how very special it is--this form of self-knowledge and self-mastery when faced with unavoidable odds.

It's how we wake up in the morning, and put on our shoes, and face a new day even when we know in our bones plus with our intuition that things aren't going to be great for us, in any way at all.

Have you ever thought about looking at this from a spiritual perspective?

To those who observe us, we who are incarnate are a source of hope, the unfailing 'Energizer Bunnies' who keep putting one foot in forward of the other no matter how much we fail, how much we fall, how frail our human bodies are.

'The spirit is willing but the body is weak" is an old proverb and a bible quote I think too.

It's that 'edge' where the spirit and body meet limits which apparently is the subject of fascination to souls who are without a physical body.

Yesterday was another call day at the hospital.

I worked into the early morning.

My 'hotel room'--the isolation bed in PACU which has never failed me--was occupied by a nurse who doesn't have a car, and needs Uber to drive her to work. She had a terrible stroke, and had to make a full recovery. She has 'field cuts' in her peripheral vision, so she can't be on the road. But being disabled at home was miserable to her, so she got her nursing license and works. She's fine in a work setting.

So I slept on the operating room table in OR 1.  I was told if I put a warm blanket on it, it's okay, the room is still sterile, and just not to fall off. Fortunately, I know where the warmer is, and also, the light switch.

At four thirty in the morning my alarm was going off, and also, the crew for the next day was coming into the room to start setting up for today's cases. I'm not sure who was surprised more, me or them!

I filled the tank on my car, and got a donut and coffee from the convenience store, and drove home to rest.

How did I do it?

To be honest, I don't know how I managed to do eight cases.  I can't begin to describe how complex the patients were. I've never seen worse airways. One I couldn't get an LMA to work, and another three anesthesiologists failed to secure the airway--fortunately there was no lack of oxygen--but the surgery had to be cancelled.

I've been doing this twenty years. I've never had a day like yesterday.

Yet, the word 'passion' is what kept me going.  Somewhere, long ago, I found I loved medicine, and taking care of the sick. Part of me comes alive when I'm in that healing situation. Even in the middle of the night.

I also discovered, I have a 'passion' for my home, and my family.

I'm torn.

Yesterday I told Spirit I give up.  I didn't know what to do with my life. I didn't know which way to proceed--I know I'm really doing lots of spiritual work, and being a role model, by being consistently loving and kind to everyone, as well as getting the energy healing in--when I am physically present at the hospital.

I told my Higher Self, 'I will kiss your butt--literally--if that's the price I have to pay to get some peace.'

I don't understand my Higher Self at all.

It's been like torture lately for me.

I get super extra powerful lessons that are grueling, one after the next.

Ross is quiet, as he is when I'm in the middle of my lessons.

There's all these people out there saying they are 'this' and 'that' and it hurts me so much to see it. Yesterday I saw someone channel 'Gaia' and also another declare themselves a 'Magdalen Priestess'.  Is my Higher Self sponsoring these people too, and keeping me in the dark about it? I work so hard at my purpose--writing, healing, loving, showing kindness to all I meet, educating myself about what is 'hidden' so I can help expose it.  It looks like there's no plan, no coordination, no organization--with the whole thing!

The only consistent movement I've getting is my growing awareness of the importance of the Team in taking care of my patients. The person who cleans and stocks is just as important as the nurse who cares for my patients--both in pre-op and PACU...so is the person who answers the phone.  I find my speech patterns changing to more positivity, more validation, more 'polite requests' for 'favors' when I need someone's help.

I see it.

The big things I see is Anthony needs me. I need a more consistent schedule. I need to communicate to EVERYONE more clearly what my needs are, not to set boundaries but rather, expectations in a direct and loving way. I need to pay my bills, I need to prepare for retirement...I need to slow down.

I WANT to do more as a healer. To make bracelets and print and mail certificates and to share the ways to heal with others who I increasingly sense are going to need some guidance and support as they awaken.

Basically, when you first awaken, it's really exciting, and you have all this energy and are filled with wonder.

Later, when you are on the 'front lines'--it gets kind of tough. It's tough because you have to choose--you are spread thin in all areas of your life and you can't sustain it.

That's when meditation becomes lifesaving for you. Your guides want you to go to them, and you want to go to them too. Some days you'd rather remain with them instead of face the world, and you can't.

If you ever get to this point, where you just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, everything in your body and soul is crying to STOP!--that's just the short distance to the summit between you and victory. It's time to press on. You might not experience that 'kick' that burst of energy at the end of the race like some runners describe.  But you must, must, must put on your shoes, stand up tall, and face yet another day.

You have no idea of the amount at stake Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart are trying to save for themselves, to keep for themselves! They are truly fighting a losing battle. But, their nature is set, and although the rate of healing, of merging, and clearing is going strong strong strong at full speed ahead...their last 'hurrah' is happening. Once they exhaust their resources--in all capacities--it will be done. We will have lasting Peace.

And we won't have to kiss anyone's bottom!!!

Keep at it! Keep going!

If you'd like to educate yourself, I will provide links of what I have been up to, there's no need to watch it or read it all. It's only for those who want to know...

• Disturbing video--a children's book written for caregivers/mental health professionals to help identify children at risk for Ritual Abuse
• Bombard's Body Language of MK Ultra victims
• The rise and fall of a Monarch in France--the story of Marie Antoinette
• Stuff to read when you can't fall asleep at night, and want to ponder the Universe
• Linked In article about being a slave by James Altucher--I hope this gets you through to the article
• My daily hope from Creator Writings

I hope you have a wonderful day.

Ross is still quiet.

I have a whole lot of chores to do.

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Reiki Doc couple