Yesterday morning I was late to work. Anthony was at his father's, it was just me, and like usual, I spent a little too much time at the computer writing my blog.
My breakfast was in the car, a French Vanilla Power Crunch protein energy bar, and a USDA organic Aloe Gloe Lemon flavor drink. I had also eaten two jujube dates at home.
As I rounded a corner I usually round at six twenty in the morning, when no-one is ever on the road, it was seven-twenty.
There was a car when I crossed the lane line as I went to open the breakfast bar and the wheel slipped.
Nothing happened, and I just went on my way, although I noticed the driver of the other car was extremely upset. This person is my neighbor--living in the same area--someone I've never seen before.
He was latino, driving a grey sedan, perhaps a Ford. I was in my old black Mercedes station wagon, the one with the Be Love sticker in the back window.
I saw the woman walking her dog stop and stare behind my car, as I passed her.
Next I knew, the grey sedan was on my tail. It pulled up dangerously close. Then it moved!
It sped ahead of me, to the light, and stopped.
I was still struggling with my breakfast, and in my scrubs.
I know rough areas. I grew up in a very bad part of town. I didn't make eye contact. I slowly tried to pull around the driver, to the left, still struggling with my breakfast in my scrubs.
The man stared at me, I never looked, and he just took off around the corner, making a right from the left hand lane, and I drove on my way to work.
What could you do?
I had to go to work, I couldn't be late, and I have my life to live as a doctor and mom.
Could he see that I was struggling with the stupid wrapper and that I'm a helping profession?
Was his message to me to 'be more careful?'--he was right, I SHOULD be more careful and I won't try things like that in the car any more.
What was with his ANGER? I felt it, I'm an empath, it was strong and lashed out towards me.
Oddly enough, it felt like the SAME anger from the family of the deceased patient. Again, in that situation, I just took it, as it was my job to absorb the anger and be the professional, to smile and politely answer the questions, all the while mindful that a roomful of them far outnumbered me, and that in some hospitals people have guns and go berserk and shoot lots of caregivers.
It is my impression and conclusion that the media has much to do with these reactions, and the more people watch mainstream media and entertainment, the more likely they are to go all 'Jerry Springer' on others.
When I was in medical school OJ Simpson did his famous car chase.
Apparently some people who called into the radio on his parole, recalled being in San Juan Capistrano, with jobs near the freeway, and their bosses let them go out and watch the slow car chase as it went by.
I had no idea it went as far as that, to be honest.
I saw a photo in an old National Enquirer mom gave me from the murder scene. Nicole was in fetal position, left side down, and there was blood everywhere.
It was sad.
Anthony is so smart.
We had just got a new Sony TV on July 4, set it up, but had to leave for vacation. Our first movie we watched on it was free from Sony. Anthony chose 'Concussion'. This was the film where Dr. Omalu (played by Will Smith--BTW, our sitter is from Africa and she says the accent is terrible, but I knew a Wally from Nigeria, it sounded like him) made the connection between Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy and American Football.
We loved the movie. And the courage Dr. Omalu showed against the NFL.
Anthony asked me, 'Could OJ have had CTE mom?'
That would have explained a lot.
And also, it helps me to find some compassion in the whole thing, for everyone.
Yesterday morning, I knew my road rage attacker was way into 'action' movies, and was 'protecting his family' like the action movies justify, because 'family is everything' like Dom Toretti says in the Fast and the Furious.
Here's a fascinating take on 'alpha' and 'body language'...a short video:
I'll never forget the acting coach who famously told Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca to have Ingrid Bergman come to him, instead of him to come to her.
This body language thing works!
You can see in both my interactions with angry people, the family of the deceased patient, and the road rage neighbor, I was 'Beta' or 'Submissive' in every way, and it helped me to survive.
(Please note that Beta programming is DIFFERENT from MK Ultra--it's 'Kitten' training--and that the body language 'beta' isn't the same.)
What is related is Learned Helplessness.
Learned Helplessness is something that I hadn't realized could be at play with today's politico-economic environment...until I watched not one but two eye-opening videos as I went to sleep last night. Ironically, it was when I just 'lay down' as Ross told me, as I was on call, and on the hook for a phone call to go back in to the hospital. For me, too, it's a learned helplessness for that, as it's painful and I can't avoid it...
YouTube videos are unregulated and MANY children (including mine) watch them without us knowing what they see
(This is a flat earth 'truther' source--but what they bring up is concerning--YouTube drops thousands of his 'subscribers' without notifying him, and the people who thought they were subscribed are asking them why there isn't anything new, and they aren't notifying him.)
It's really dark out there.
It's all different if you know, as I've read and researched, that Jim was the head of the 'Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart' sect out in Los Angeles. He is the one who demanded Travolta 'choose' between sacrificing his wife and his son, to show his 'loyalty' to Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart. And with the blonde hair, Jenny is most likely a high-ranking 'Beta Kitten' who, once Jim lost his standing, was sent to be with either his replacement for the position--or to the next 'Controller' who showed an interest in her.
How prevalent are they? Those who do not have our best interest at heart? Here is this Spring's 'outing' of the key players...
The Black Child is one of the best who has taught me about Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart and how to recognize them
For instance, when I heard of Chester Bennington's death, I couldn't help but notice that BOTH female newscasters were wearing the identical shade of red dress as they announced it. I also heard that the widow of Chris from Soundgarden/Stone Temple Pilots was saying there were too many similarities...and that BOTH were going to expose the pedophilia rings any day now.
There are lots of celebrity deaths, way more than the average person: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lists_of_deaths_by_year#2016. What I would be interested in is to superimpose a calendar of their High Holy Days for Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart, as well as their big rituals (many awards ceremonies are, in fact) and figure out the patterns that go there.
I know many more because I am an empath.
And some things just hit me out of the blue--when they are a lesson.
My close friend and colleague, a hand surgeon, has known for six months he's had stage four lung cancer, and he never told me. I heard a rumor yesterday, and even then, I wasn't supposed to know, as the secret wasn't supposed to get out.
He's the Bad Boy of the O.R.
He's the one many people don't want to work with.
For me, as he says, 'Your OCD is compatible with MY OCD' and we work together very well. I adore him. And when Anthony gets banged up, he's the first I call, usually texting with a photo of the injury, and he's offered me support and examined Anthony first chance I can take him in. And he's never charged me once for any of it.
He's a good guy, an excellent surgeon, who loves his family very much, a devoted husband and father. He also mourns his father, and understands how much I miss my dad too.
We both love France.
I am devastated by the news.
I thought of it over and over last night.
But I made a choice.
My Aunt Edna confronted me from the other side--WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?--about my many gifts.
My father, as he lay dying, I told him not to worry, I am a medium, I can hear from the other side, and I can listen for him. Then he blinked his eyes and moved his head to scan from left to right. He couldn't speak. But this was his last message to me. When the chaplain anointed him, I SAW what he saw, the very gates of Heaven! Bright white white bricks, and a drawbridge. I saw two angels with spears come for him, and they took dad Home.
Embarrassing as it is, I will share my gift with my friend, before he gets really sick. Even if it ruins the friendship.
The anger is killing my friend.
He was a big Trump supporter, and now Trump is essentially powerless...none of the campaign promises are coming. (learned helplessness, right?)...This isn't to make a political statement other than both sides of the politics mess with you and your health and belief system because they can't win, neither side can, because they are under the control of Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart.
I did one more thing.
I showed myself to him in Spirit.
I've done this once before for a friend who was cheating on his wife, and confused.
He saw me, I know, and mended his ways. He told me he felt me.
I showed myself to my lung cancer friend in all my glory. It blinded him. He thought he was going to die right there and I assured him not now.
Then I asked what height he wanted the O.R. table and did he want a little airplane to it to make it right?
He was like, with his soul, his light body, 'IS THAT YOU CARLA?!'
I just sat and looked at my nails, shiny as anything, wings and all.
I let him figure it out.
I gently explained to him that THIS--the shining, this 'dream' state--is what's REAL and FOREVER...and the rest 'here and now, awake' is not. And I am technically 'under cover' as 'Carla'.
My friend is Buddhist.
I know Buddha. He's my Karuna Reiki Guide.
Buddha was cool.
He told my friend I was his 'wife'.
Once the Buddhist 'flavor' was added to the picture, my friend's soul was able to relax, and adjust, and learn the lesson...to prepare and to be open for whatever is next.
Buddha kissed me long and hard in front of my friend.
He went through all the emotions after he witnessed it--disbelief that Buddha could kiss a woman, then embarrassment at having been told he was celibate, then curiosity as to what is truth, anyhow--all in a short time.
Buddha went and talked to him for a long time. And I went away.
Today I slept fourteen hours. I went to sleep at six thirty last night and slept until eight thirty.
I have energy like I haven't in years.
There's much work for me to do. (I have work tomorrow)...
But I will also rest.
Anger is Illusion.
There are many things set up by Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart to TRIGGER anger because it lowers the vibration.
The beings who aren't human--incarnate now in human bodies--need LOW VIBRATION ENERGY to thrive.
Know that YOU--who is either Human or Angel in soul--incarnate in a human body--needs HIGH VIBRATION ENERGY to thrive.
You are made to experience joy--both here, and in the hereafter.
Why not start today?
Carla is reliving our separation right now, with the impending death of her close friend and confidante who has the lung cancer.
The old despair is her comfort zone...the panic...it is something she knows. And believe me, Carla felt POWERLESS when it was my time, and in all the events leading up to it.
With the distance--a friend instead of a partner--Carla is able to step back and see how she can assist with the Transition in a positive way, instead of trying to stop it.
For all she knows, her friend Dao might not be here at Christmas.
But also (holds one finger up--ed) with all the changes with me, and the Ascension--there is a chance he might 'make it' after all--UP.
Do not be concerned about the unawakened, and their reaction to Ascension.
Enjoy your own awakening, you have earned it.
Otherwise be open and magnanimous and humble and gentle and kind to those who seek your help and are awakening. Resist the urge to tell those close to you, 'I told you so' when they finally awaken.
Tempers are going to flare up once people figure out they have been tricked in a big way.
Please do not add to it.
This is what is needed the most--nature, quiet contemplation, and love.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
P.S. Yes Carla has asked me to help her friend cross over, just like she asked for Aunt Mercedes. Only for her friend it will be Carla on the one arm and Buddha on the next, much to his satisfaction, for his time to come Home. His father will be the first to greet him, and it will be a joyous reunion...