Saturday, July 22, 2017


Emergence is the awakening from anesthesia. It's when the anesthetic agent is turned off and the patient wakes up.

I do it every day...that is, guide my patients through their waking up from their general anesthesia or MAC (monitored anesthesia care).

I'm also, slowly, stumbling my way through my awakening from the Heavy Sleep, the Illusion, or Life As I Knew It With the Veil.

My spiritual sleep.

Yesterday on the way to work, Ross embraced me--my spirit body, my soul.  It felt like a hug, a long hug. I can feel it. It's almost like pressure on my skin.

I started to vibrate--everything shaking everywhere, like I was on an earthquake table or also wasn't scary and felt nice.

I noticed as he held me, Ross started the same thing too, shaking everywhere, and he acted like it's the most normal thing in the world.

It increased in intensity over several moments. I felt loved, I felt safe and I had complete and total trust in Ross.

Then, he told me, the energy transfer was, 'enough' and he didn't want it to be 'too much' for me.

Later that day, I told a friend.

I also confided that it's really lonely, knowing what I know, being who I am, and although my friend is not sure how long she's going to be able to 'stick around' in the physical, I explained how it takes all the faith I have to keep my relationship with Ross--across the dimensions--and I really wouldn't want to be in a position to have to have two close relationships like that. It makes a huge difference I can write, send packages, and talk on the phone. In the tangible.

I told her I hope when it's her time to leave that Ross can really 'step it up' so it's easier.

I must confess, yesterday was a new concept in a huge way. I'm not sure how I realized it, but I want Ross HERE with me, so it can be 'real'--to hold him, to make plans with him, to physically be near him.

I got the inkling that HERE is NOT 'real', and where Ross is, IS REAL...that's why he isn't coming 'here' exactly. I need to give up the thoughts that this body I am inhabiting is 'forever', and 'REAL' although touch and my senses help to reassure me 'everything is okay'--it's what I pick up with my third eye that's the actual 'REAL'.

As you know, I spend most of my day with patients.

I don't know how I came up with the idea, but I had a patient not much older than me who was a total 'train wreck' or 'an oral boards question'--multiple comorbidities at the same time.

As I give monitored anesthesia care--I'm closer to my patients. Many times I actually hold the jaw so they can breathe.

So here I was, at the head of the bed during the procedure, and my heart went out to him.

I was like, 'this poor fella--oh my gosh! so much going on that he doesn't even know or understand!'

My heart center attached to his, and overwhelming loving compassion flowed from me to him, just to help him out of his nightmare. I connected my heart center to his, by intention. Then I disconnected it after the energy flow.

(I also did this on the next patient and everyone in the room at the same time, on my next case)

My school of training has not one but TWO heart chakras.

See this picture with the green one? That's the 'typical' one.

In my school/lineage, there is a pink one between the green and the blue. On the physical body it's just under the sternal notch, on the manubrium (technical name for it).

It stands for Unconditional Love, the love of the Divine, which expects nothing in return and is not romantic.

The green one is the Heart Center which 'makes us go'--helps us live our day to day.

I think the pink one has been called the High Heart...too. It represents the best in us.

Well, guess what?

After I did that first 'heart connection' to my patient, right after I let go, then... from unseen sources--THEY attached THEIR heart centers to me. And it was like WHAMMY! So strong! So clear! So pure!

It was the love and joy from Heaven!

And it got ME through MY day!

I experimented with it all day long...until that one patient...

The young one who gave the sign.

In gesturing about their physical ailment, they gave that horrible sign with the 'rock and roll' meaning--which is actually way more sinister than cute--and I knew it was his subconscious signaling to me what team he is on.

I dislike the hand gesture, and the upside down stars, and the baff-o-mett--and the upside down cross--because in my belief system, our energy bodies are aligned upright, like this, as Creator created them to be.

I love Creator.

I would never mock him/her.

Although I might play a small practical joke because both have excellent senses of humor, and it would show my love for them.

So...this patient felt...dirty.

It took a moment for me to decide.

I attached my heart center anyway.

I know Creator would--actually, Creator never detached it, not since day one for this person.

Why should I?

Besides, they were suffering, and I was here to relieve the suffering. I had insight, understanding, and compassion for the soul where they were in their Life Script.

Did I get the 'angel zap' afterwards as a reward?  No.

I got something day was over and I got to go home!!!

Gaia has requested that on the new Earth, people who make that symbol with their hands, are not welcome.

She expressly requests that her new environment be completely free of this form of spiritual pollution and any reminder of the oppression of Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart.

She needs to heal and it shall be on Her terms.

Ross stepped up his game.

I was mildly vindicated when my friend who had asked me to do his anesthesia (and I knew he didn't ask a second time) told me he was upset because he forgot to call ahead to ask for me, he just got whoever for his second surgery, and he threw up until ten p.m. after the surgery when my colleague had given anesthesia instead of me.   I smiled and told him I know what I'm doing, and people who understand it know, and now he does too.

He also mentioned a Japanese curry house.

It was a change in routine. I went. Anthony was with his dad anyways, and I work the weekend.

Oh my gosh I had fun!

It was at Diamond Jamboree center.

The curry was 'okay'.  The strip mall was nice--something different. And the grocery store was the bomb! It was Korean.

I got some DURIAN!!! I love durian. It's hard to find here. Mine was frozen.

Ross told me to get 'some mangos'. I also found a French Bakery inside, and got a croque monsieur and a pastry for my call.

I got the little thing to keep the hair out of the drain on the shower.

And right before the store, I ran into a Pokemon Raid Battle...and I got a Tyrantiar!!! WOW! My blast was the last thing that killed it. There were like eleven of us trying to get it. About three of us caught it afterwards...

Even Anthony said, 'Wow!'

I had forgotten the Asahi beer Ross had said to have with my curry. I bought one and had it while I paid the bills that needed checks to be written out, while I was at home.

Ross had told me to 'take care of me' and in a way, although I would have loved to nap on the couch, paying the bills was a good 'weight off my chest' too.

I slept well.

Here is something for you to think about and to start your day:

Time to get ready for work.

I love you.

Ross does too.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
The Couple

P.S. I ate lunch with a surgeon who is very particular. He didn't let me work with his patients for a while, but now he does, and he's really nice. His mother is Swiss, and owns land in Geneva. He rents out the house and goes once a year to check.  Well...he is an Aquarius. He was like, 'you believe in that stuff?'

I said, yes, generally, because I look for patterns. It's like the colors they use to describe the personalities of the nurses in the O.R., sort of like a Myers-Briggs test. I look for the star sign to help me figure out what's important to someone.

He confided he went to a New Year's Party where they had a palm reader. She didn't know him at all, and yet what she said was so accurate it was 'scary' to my friend.

He had to make her stop.

Remember this, those of you, who have the gift.

It's lonely to live with that awareness and knowledge every day, I know. I live it too. I hate it when I know someone's going to die--I 'smell it'--because there's nothing I can do to stop it.

But be strong for those who are more asleep than you, and have compassion because they find your 'gift' scary--too much truth without much 'logic' to make them feel comfortable. And gently hold the space for them as they wake up.

I smiled and told him John Lennon I think was an Aquarius--a creative genius who was ahead of his time--and that although some signs aren't ones to brag about, Aquarius 'is good'.

He smiled.