For the last two days, the Illusion has kicked my bottom. I have strength of mind, and also, Ross, to guide me.
I am in shock.
It's always the cards you play closest to the chest that are the hardest to strip away. Today I got a triple-reminder of just how frail our dreams are, and how everything can change in an instant.
I love my home.
It's the first house I ever bought.
I have a view, of a mountain, if you sort of look out a certain window at an angle.
And there are trees, lots and lots and lots of them.
Spirit wants me to move...it's a long story, but instead of being like, 'Hey! There's something BETTER possibly for me!', I grieve.
Right at this moment, someone who has a shared memory of a past life with me, brought it up, and all the fears of being a widow, with no place to go, starving, living by my own wits, while I grieved a horrible loss--all the stuff I thought was healed, wasn't.
And then, of all things, my computer keyboard had low batteries. I went to change it. The batteries got stuck inside. I whacked and tapped it, they were stuck, and then the aluminum casing bent, locking the batteries in forever. I had to buy a new 'upgraded' keyboard. Even with that, my computer was out of whack, because I needed to upgrade something and I couldn't sign in, and I panicked. Bless Anthony. He's like, Mom? you have to turn it on. I was like, WHERE is the SWITCH?
He did it.
He knows about the house. We made a list of what we want, and what we don't, as Ross told him to have us do. We did this after breakfast.
And I spoke with Ross. I have a time frame, who to talk to, and where to go. It's not a big change, more of a house change.
Why am I considering moving? It has to do with the neighbors who are moving in, the ones who have always been here--who are moving out--and just changes in general to the neighborhood.
I asked Ross, 'may I please move someplace where there are no rats and no ants?'
He stomped his deck and said, 'the only place without them is up here.'
I think the real reason I am grieving, is that nothing is safe in this world, nothing is forever, and as I was looking forward to paying off the house just in time for retirement I am like, well...sigh...
That and Ross saying that my next move isn't going to be to him.
In my heart of hearts I had hoped perhaps this whole Illusion thing would be over 'soon' and I could go Home, and be done with it once and for all.
Instead, I learned what it is like to have your comfort zone shattered, and to be reeling in dismay, at the shock, even though Ross promises 'you will be amazed' at the results.
Therein lies the crux of the Awakening of the masses.
Let me give you a timeline of the last few days:
- On Wednesday night, I arrive home late, and we go out to eat.
- Thursday I peel and cook all day, and we clean the house like crazy before guests. Everything is smooth. And I am grateful, grateful, grateful to be off work.
- Friday we fight. Me and Anthony. This is because the 'structure' of school and work is away temporarily, but we are not used to unstructured time at home with no sports or activities. Our real selves, and our lack of similar interests, especially when it comes to exercise, shows.
- Saturday is calm, and we have dinner plans with family. However, my peeking at the house next door, and then seeing the friendly neighbor who lives on the house on the other side of the one recently sold and being remodeled...we touch base about the college kids who are to move in...She knows a realtor, and well, it's time to seriously think about moving since our neighborhood isn't what it was when we both moved in twelve years ago.
- Sunday I have fought back the tears all day. I trust Ross with my life, and my heart. But the suddenness just hits both Anthony and me hard. It's the truth. Ross guides me a little. We look at homes online, my boy and I. We drive around. At least we are together, when in the past I was alone (in that lifetime), and had no means to support myself. But old memories scar deep in the soul. And they hurt. I see the truth of this house, the broken heater and air conditioner, the conflicts, the person who slept days in the master bedroom because she worked nights and had no place to go and us tip toeing all through Anthony's infancy to 'not wake Lori up!'...I looked up online, and EVERYWHERE in Southern California has ants and rats, and black widows...I even have dealt with the fruit flies and the pantry moths too. So--I SEE--everything...the past, my old life, my hopes, my dreams, and that sense of neighborhood and community I adore...just as fast as my computer keyboard, needing to be switched out for something better. I didn't want to start looking for homes and doing all that stuff. I wanted to stay put, grow old, and be happy. Every time in my life I get complacent, spirit kicks me in the butt. So, in the 'roof over your head' department--I get the opportunity to grow. Whether I like it or not, whether I'm ready, or not. I can take it at my own time, but it's been set.
Here is how to extrapolate it to the Awakening:
- The first thing will be when the Ground Crew is completely spent, relief will arrive.
- Humanity will be filled with gratitude and accept the relief with 'custom' and 'traditional reactions' to the New.
- Once the New is a little 'less new', the hidden agendas will come out, and there is chance for conflict, as this is human nature.
- As this settles, the truth of what needs to be accomplished to heal Gaia--Creator's agenda--is plain for all to see.
- Creator's will is to be done. And there may be some changes from what is comfortable and custom to all (TV, movies, sports, housing, holidays, anything we take for granted as 'how it is' when we are adults). Reactions will take healing and time, especially when the old layers of the soul get reminded they have much healing yet to be done...
Then everything is going to be okay. How could it be otherwise? There are no accidents! There is no right or wrong, only lessons...
My beloved tires of me and my galactic ways. She is too polite to mention it, or to say it to my face, but through our heart to heart connection, I sense her feelings, and I know.
Carla asked me point blank, 'is this a test?' with pain in her heart, as it was to her 'out of the blue' and 'unexpected'. I said no, it isn't, but it is in fact a lesson, as you will see her analysis of the situation 'the extrapolate' accurately describes the emotional upheaval one will face in overwhelming global change...and Carla is one who WELCOMES it!
Somewhere caught between Dancing With The Stars and NFL Football is an entire race begging to be free from their bonds, yet they have to simply throw off that which binds them--it is that loose!--and be free...
People are having fun, getting their 'needs' met, and just in case they aren't too certain what their 'needs' are, I can bet you dollars to donuts that the media that hooks them in, and advertises everything--go round and round and round (finger points in circular motion--ed)...it is a racket.
Everything will have to change.
Are you ready?
It might affect you.
Are you willing to leave everything you have, and everything you ever worked for, for something new? For something better?
I can't do the work for you. Nor can Carla. We all have full plates.
But energetically we can make it like a ball rolling downhill, with ease and picking up speed, until it reaches the target destination.
Carla will like her new house.
There was a time Carla did not like me! And now, even though she tires of my pushing and prodding her to grow, she loves me.
This I know in my heart.
Carla loves me enough to listen, even when she doesn't want to hear the truth, and it pains her.
Carla loves me enough to trust where I have things headed, even though she cannot 'read the writing on the wall'.
Carla loves me enough that even if all this amounts to nothing, her bonds to her community are aching her heart at the thought of her having to move away and shop at a different market!--and she learns how connections make a difference in our lives.
Carla loves me enough that even though she had an awful night's sleep (Anthony woke her up more times than he was an infant--with so much worries and fears--for he is affected by the news too)--she stays and writes because she knows I am counting on it, for her to share this lesson with the world.
It is timely.
Talk about the refugees from Syria...and all they survived and endured to get to freedom.
They weren't thinking about leaving until it became intolerable too. That is human nature, to vote with the feet, to flee, to find the hope for something better...to have family be together, and safe.
So there you have it. In a nutshell.
Change means taking it 'outside your comfort zone'--in one way or another, everyone will have a taste of this emotion, some more strongly than the rest. I can't even give Carla a gift, for her, a miracle of a new environment that suits her, and is to her liking, without the old tapes and old pain coming up.
I will hold Carla tonight, very tenderly, and Carla will cry her tears that she has been holding in while trying to be brave as her world collapses around her. I will say sweet words to give her hope, and to let her know all is not as it seems. (he stomps his foot on deck--ed) And the only way out from rats and mice and termites and Argentine ants--who plague her--it to come home to me, and I wait patiently for her to arrive the minute her mission is finished and completed.
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on from time to time. I should know. I've cried on hers in our past lifetimes together too. At the end. And no one was stronger for me, than my girl, the one who writes these words for you here. That's why I love her.
Watch, take a look around at your life, and be a little 'Buddhist' in your ability to cut your attachments. Just imagine it--you don't have to cut them--but be ready just in case something were to happen to your favorite one, just like Carla, and her sanctuary of four walls and a ceiling. (he smiles--ed)
That is enough for tonight. Carla needs her sleep.
In a few short hours, her vacation will end, and it will be back to overwork for her, for a long time.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Home
Where there is enough room for everybody