Building And Renewing All Kinds of Things
Again yesterday I was tested. There were layers and layers and layers to this kind of test. As you may well know, I work part-time, not by choice exactly...it's a long story and I won't go into it. More or less, Ross saw how miserable I was on OB last fall. He said, 'this is your last call on OB!'--but you know the time thing with the Galactics, how it's distorted? Well, the DECISION was made that day (I was so miserable I never showed up once upstairs to the labor deck for either day or night shift--it was so SLOW my services weren't needed, and I didn't want to make 'small talk' or say 'I don't feel well' to excuse myself for staying in my call room, where I had been crying all day, because I hate it so much. The WORK is okay. It's the being trapped for twenty-four hours in the hospital away from my family and home, being at the beck and call of the labor nurses who wake you up and expect peak performance any hour of day or night, no matter how technically difficult the back of the patient is...and talk about you behind your back when they smile to your face. That about covers it.)
- My first patient was a request but I was surprised to note that it was the twelfth surgery repeat of its kind, the one before was aborted mid-procedure due to bleeding, and the patient was DNR. I had to really get the clinical 'radar' way up, and the 'bedside manner' at the very best I could make it. Fortunately all went well. (family member of RN)
- Towards the end of this case, and it was my ONLY case, on the schedule, I started to imagine what kinds of things I could do with my day.
- At the very end of the case, I was asked to do a femur fracture case. This surgeon is unusually quick, so I said, 'No Problem!' The only catch was this patient was anemic and needed transfusion--sometimes a lot of blood can 'hide' in a thigh for this type of fracture. Indeed, significant bleeding was involved, transfusion was indicated, and the case took three times longer than expected. When all was said and done, THIS patient did fine. (family member of nurse practitioner)
- When I started to imagine enjoying my day, and eating lunch, I was asked to go upstairs to the cath lab and do a 'quick case'...I ate one energy bar and drank water on my way up. It turned out the patient refused sedation, and wanted a general. But the OR adjacent to the cath lab was in use! There was NO anesthesia machine! How do you make do? With a Glide Scope, bringing a 'tackle box' of supplies, a propofol pump, HUGE HUGE HUGE bottles of propofol, and lots of them, and having respiratory 'hang out' while they run the ventilator on your patient. Can you imagine a patient with super high tolerance to sedation in this situation, with cardiomyopathy and very low ejection fraction? This case went on for three hours due to the bleeding that was the result of some anticoagulant medicines that were stronger than plavix. The cardiothoracic surgeon was consulted to come assist. (this patient did well too, and woke up right on time at the end of the procedure, but fortunately, not before).
- Once finished, I rounded on my patients. The first was one I am close to who had a major surgery for bowel obstruction on Friday (why I stayed late). The second was the anoxic brain injury patient who had the code blue--the one I am asking to be 'better than before' after the healing. I was talking with the mother, who is so nice!--and said, 'Now she looks herself, she looks like SARAH!' And the patient OPENED HER EYES AT THE SOUND OF HER NAME!!!You have to be 'in there' to respond like this. We were both a little slow to realize it was a miracle--and I had felt the energy of Raphael with me there the whole time. Thank you Raphael.
- I rounded on my two sickest patients, even though I wanted to leave the hospital. Fortunately they were both asleep, and in good shape. I wrote my notes.
- Finally done with my work at four, I was really super excited for the opportunity to buy some more troll beads at seventy-five percent off. I wanted some glass color beads and more 'trolls'. I waited all weekend. But in the parking lot, I recalled it was time to feed Cecil. I had to go buy a 'large medium rat with mouse shavings' first. I did it, and THEN went to the place to buy the beads.
- I got ten with the names like, 'Milky Way' and 'crystal troll'...so pretty! I had to hurry, because I needed to pick up Anthony from school, and there is traffic.
- At the school, I saw the gymnastics teacher. We talked. Until he got so big Anthony used to take classes from him, and I loved to participate too! I was a gymnast as a child, nothing fancy, but it was a fun sport for me. Again, there was this subtle test of 'wanting to be somewhere' and 'not being able to go'--I had wanted to go HOME!!!
My teacher Anne is fascinating, a beautiful person with a good heart, an excellent teacher...and recently she gave me the 'gift' of being able to see her with my intuitive heart...to understand what 'makes her tick'.
This gift comes to me through conflict, and through raised vibration allowing my consciousness to 'see' what is, without judgement, or need to be 'heard'.
I've spent over two-hundred fifty dollars to get my certificates as a healer and as a psychic (also as a medium) through her IMPART program.
Well, after Karuna Reiki Master, spirit turned on the brakes! Big time!
My schedule became impossible. I simply couldn't go to classes. There was always a conflict.
The first conflict with Anne was about money. It was a 'funny feeling' about some of the way things were going. She likes the tuition for everything up front, and early. I understand Anne--as a business--has bills to pay and wants to keep it going. For some, who believe in the Law of Attraction, financial compensation is a form of proof to them that Spirit Loves Them and Spirit Is Really Working. I just figured that had something to do with it, and let it go.
The tables turned when I did a difficult, over one hour anesthetic for a loved one. I skipped lunch, I gave the very best service possible. And through some twist of fate, insurance didn't cover and I was owed eight hundred dollars for my services, which was really hard for them to afford. I was STUCK because of my boss and my friends wanted two opposite directions. With my billing service, we settled on three hundred dollars. There were a LOT of emails and phone calls, and it basically ruined the relationship even though I was assured 'the friendship would stay the same'.
I need to take one class and volunteer at three more events to graduate.
But the last time I went to an 'event' with Anthony, I was turned away at the door. It was 'sold out'.
I was humiliated. I had driven forty minutes out of my way to attend!
I wasn't going back until I was told I had two years to complete my certificate, or else it expires, all the work I did.
Part of me wonders, 'is Mrs. Ross supposed to get a certificate in these things, anyway? Is that kosher?'
Well I figured I could go to the next event. I asked would you mind making an exception and letting me help? (I am of the 'there is always enough for one more' persuasion )
Anne said no.
Everything is all set up and matched and for the event to be a SUCCESS it has to be this way, her assistant, not Anne, told me.
In a flash of insight, I SAW! I SAW the reason WHY this is happening, and WHY it is so difficult!
Again there is no judgement. But Anne's past--shall we say--defines her comfort zone--and I am most definitely pushing her buttons on her comfort zone.
The only way for her to exist in her 'reality' is to 'control' her 'work'...I used to be like this at my own work! I wanted everything 'perfect' in order to be 'safe'. Since I've worked on my own self-discovery and raised my vibration, I have learned more about 'what is safe' and actually, it has a lot more to do with me and my skills, and trusting in them, than in my 'stuff', my 'equipment'...
So I am calm. I accept.
As a psychic, I see that Anne won't be able to say I am her certificate student when certain things due 'soon' play out.
She could have a lot of recognition for her important role she has played in my spiritual awakening and development...she still will, but I don't think I will finish the certification requirements before all the stuff I am 'sensing' in 5D hits...and I am okay with it.
It is a very poignant day when your beloved teacher is seen as human, and it makes you love them all the more, for working with their limits, to give their gift to you...
I understand in a non-verbal way the message of the rabbit. And in a nutshell, through fear, the totem of 'rabbit' is immersed in our society as denial and disbelief of the agenda of the Dark Ones, Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart.
Upon awakening I was given a funny looking, and heavy object, in spirit, and I was told to throw it down onto the earth.
I was like, WHAT IS IT? I wanted to know, and also make sure it was a good thing to throw.
It looked very much like an old fashioned anchor made out of a coffee can filled with some concrete and a loop at the top of it, and was about the same size.
I realized it was the second of the Karuna Reiki Symbols (H is the first letter) spun around its central axis to make it three dimensional. I drew it. And I SENT it!!!
I call it my 'Love bomb!'.
I learned some important lessons last night at my jewelry making. I bought the new troll beads. And before, I had made a 'story' with my beads. Spirit told me to take ALL the beads off! I was like, okay...
Now on my bracelet, I have dragon with Rabbit (Doremus and Thumper--Ming) to help me figure the Rabbit out, and it worked overnight. On my necklace, I have four small ones--my 'Carla'--troll, earth, mermaid, and heart. On my longer necklace, I have things related to Earth and planets. You see, the trolls represent Agartha! THIS is their beloved connection to my soul.
I also took off ALL my bracelets I made, at Ross' request, and I made the first one with my own soul--not even my higher self--showing me how it is made. I call it 'Love'. And it also has a leaf toggle closure, because 'Love GROWS'.
It pleases me very much, and I am delighted to have reached this stage in my own growth, where I know myself, and can work intuitively with what is right for me.
Check this out too! I just saw it this morning. https://thecreatorwritings.wordpress.com/2015/05/11/let-love-flow/
I made the bracelet last night.
Tests Upon Tests!
Today I had yet another test! I walked for exercise with Anthony's class, holding up the tail end of the group, paying attention as the teacher instructed for me to tell the laggers to 'mind the gap' and catch up with the rest of the group. We had several untied shoelaces, and it was a long, very long and strenuous for me jog to keep catching up.
I picked up my car from the service station, and at the bank ATM, it wouldn't restart!
I called for help, and literally spent an hour and a half waiting for a jump start.
What I learned was not to sweat it. You can't change the situation. You adapt. I cleaned my purse, I cleaned the car, I was mindful of my dying phone battery and I couldn't charge it.
Then I was on my way, after I waited fifteen minutes with the engine running.
Ross had me keep driving past my home! He wanted me to go to the Hawaiian place for lunch! I sensed he wanted me to go further. And what I saw was a neighborhood suit store, where I can buy one for Anthony for his play.
Yesterday Ross had asked Anthony if he would be so kind to teach him baseball when we go UP? Ross would like to play with Anthony. And as Anthony said, 'yes' and was glad, a car with the license plate DAD DADDEE or something like that went by at the same exact moment!
We are being prepared for something, now, both of us.
And I commented that perhaps the 'testers' who send me my challenges have turned it into some form of amusement for them? I would naturally be patient and let them play their game of watching me react to obstacles in my routine...because at some point it would end. But it's grown tiresome for me.
And as I drove home from my lunch, I was like, 'TURN IT AROUND! Take a DISASTER and turn it into something FESTIVE for you!'
You see, the Galactics are AMAZED at how we keep on going and overcome obstacles...they simply ARE because they don't have that kind of stuff where they are.
This time I gave them a show, and let them know how it is done!
This is for my beloved: (he smiles and laughs and holds his hand to his mouth--ed) I LOVE YOU!
I want you to come Home. To me.
I am doing everything in my power to bring you, and all of your 'compatriots' UP.
(laughs and smiles and is happy--ed) Did you have fun (in my car--ed).
(I nod yes--ed)
I thought you did. (lots of warm loving energy and caring from him--ed)
(he waves his hand around to get your attention--ed) I want YOU to SHOW THEM HOW IT IS DONE! In everything you do. I want you to SOAR at this point.
With all our love,
Ross and Carla,
The Reiki Doc twin souls