I will get into other things, but for now, I would like to share yesterday. It was a tremendous breakthrough for me. And I wouldn't have learned it if a certain Freshman around here wasn't persistent and focused on his goals.
The child spends a lot of time gaming. As a sales person at a tech shop said yesterday, 'the playground is now on the video screen'. Because of this Anthony spends time with his friends over the X-box. He finds there is something called 'lag' and he gets very upset over it.
Yesterday the plan was to go to the mall to get him a corded x-box controller. To eliminate the lag. It was so painful. Later in the day I was able to explain it to him, but I will put it here because it makes sense. I had wanted to go to the mall, buy the thing, and then spend the afternoon in the pool. We left at one. I didn't get to the pool until five p.m. A friend who has a daughter who was once a classmate of Anthony shared how he spent six hours at a local mall, clocked over five miles in steps with his daughter doing last-minute shopping before the first day of school (today), and she didn't buy a single thing! Other people commented 'welcome to the club' as this is typical of girls.
For boys, at least the one I am raising, it's the internet. We went to the Microsoft store, then the Apple store where he compared specs on new computers (iMAC Pro vs. iMAC), and I just wanted to run away. Totally run. But on the way home, he wanted to go to the office supply store. He is picky. He wants a certain mechanical pencil. I had blocked going to that store last week because we were near Target, and I didn't want to drive across town. But here we are, he's getting his way. And as we stay at the store longer and longer, he's coming at me with routers and modems. All because of the dam lag on the video games! I've bought two different routers, a wire house internet extender, moved house, and upgraded the internet in March. Now I am ready to start screaming and running because all of these things are at least $150 each--wired controller, modem, router.
I tell him no.
I tell him no until I can go to the computer at home and see what equipment we have. I am visual and need things explained to me in ways I can understand.
I contact our internet provider. I realize that our voice phone is bundled. They provide a list of routers and modems that are compatible with the voice phone system.
I'm on the chat with tech support forever.
So what I explained to Anthony is that there are places that are painfully low vibration for me. And I can't stay in them very long time, to be exposed to that. I shared how I need fresh air and sunshine to RAISE my vibration. That's why I stay at home a lot. And also, until I have the time to move in--and I haven't, there's boxes everywhere--the clutter saps my energy too.
He was surprised how quickly my mood changed once I was in the fresh air and sunshine and water. He also found the minute he put his hand in the pool to rinse it or something, HE felt better.
He was affected by the low vibrations too, but didn't sense it, and became more and more controlling without thinking about it. He didn't like how he was acting but her was powerless to stop it.
After swimming, and before dinner, we went to yet another tech store.
Here they told us to speed test everything. Wired and wifi. Don't buy anything. Also ask the internet provider if we can get a free digital upgrade to the phone system, if our area supports this. That would help us not rent the router/modem from the internet provider.
Anthony's concern is we pay for a certain number of Gigabytes per second, but the modem is six year old technology, and we aren't getting what we are paying for. There's better technology available.
And his gaming is affected. That's unspoken but I know what's driving this.
I put my phone with the wifi speed test app, in the areas that counted. Anthony was checking far away, near the front door.
The speed was good in the kitchen. Sitting on the couch where he plays it was super fast.
But when I put my phone on top of the X-box in the TV stand, it was slow. I saw the speeds go up and down.
I put my phone under the TV, on top of the stand.
The speeds were fast.
I told him to put the X-box unit on top of the stand, where the speeds are fastest, I don't care how it looks, as long as he finally stops complaining about the internet.
He said he thought it looked better inside, that's why he had put it there. (it was the same in the old house, same spot, same problem).
He then tried the thing where you use the electrical wires to transmit the internet signal.
It was slower. Fortunately there's a fourteen day return and that's on my to-do list today.
He had to give me credit for solving his problem. He realized that my buying the best available internet speeds, and by having the technician come to re-evaluate the area, I'm doing a lot.
I think this is the perfect example of how we help one another grow. Children--and others we love--need limits presented when we set boundaries. People like me, with a past of abuse, need to learn that boundaries are healthy and need to be enforced.
Another topic--brief--is how my maternal grandmother Nanna Angelina--grew up severely abused. She wasn't even allowed to finish school. She stopped at the fifth grade to raise her younger brothers and sister. There had been a baby that shared a room with the girls, a little girl, and the family (parents) refused to feed her. Nana said the screaming from the hungry baby was heartbreaking, blood-curdling, agonizing, and she could not do a thing. The parents let the baby die. She never understood why and had done everything she could to protect the baby but was beaten up severely, for this and for practically everything else all the time day after day. She broke the cycle of abuse on her own. She never abused people as bad as she was abused. She had a temper problem with her children but never her grandchildren. My mom had an anger management problem with us girls too. I started to be angry but it stopped, thankfully. A friend intervened and said, 'set your goal to be reasonable, and expect the child to be reasonable too'.
We heal each other.
We didn't get my mom to pick up the phone yesterday. Anthony was really concerned something bad happened to mom, especially the day before his first day at school. He couldn't sleep. I texted my sister, and she reminded me there was a wedding mom went to. I know Ross would prepare me, and also, it didn't feel like it was her time.
But I shared with Anthony how I learned about Nannu Filippo's impending passing. How at Thanksgiving he gave me a care package to open at my apartment in San Diego. I did. The golden Hershey chocolates with almonds he always gave me, the big bars they don't make anymore. And the Smucker's apricot preserve with fruit juice only that cost like five dollars and I'd picked up and set down without buying a lot of times at the store. How Nannu knew I wanted it, only through his psychic gift could he know.
He wrote a note and ended it 'ciao, ciao, ciao' and instantly I knew it was his goodbye. In the realm of spirit, and nannu never talked to me about these things, but in the realm of spirit to really say something you say it three times, once for earth, once for heaven and once for some other thing I forget.
I ran screaming and threw myself on the bed and kicked and pounded with my fists in total anguish, imploring Blessed Mother why I wasn't told by Spirit so I could say a proper goodbye in person?
When I calmed down, she shared that he wanted to tell me in his own way, that's why Spirit hadn't.
I had wanted to give him his Christmas present, a UCSD School of Medicine baseball hat, early, but Spirit had said as I prepared for Thanksgiving that was 'against the rules'.
I called every day I could. And on December 15 I got the call he had died in his sleep of a massive heart attack.
I've shared about my interaction with his soul on the ride home when my dad and brother in law came to get me. It's elsewhere in the blog. I helped his soul cross to the light, it was angry and upset. How I found it I can't explain except it happened while I was saying a rosary for him.
I knew he always wanted flowers and not to be forgotten on his grave. So what I haven't shared, is I paid for the cemetery to put one small bouquet of a rose and a carnation up every week. With an old one on one side and the new one on the new his two flower holders would always be full. People would know he was missed. He died in 1992. At first it was not too expensive. But as I became a resident is was upwards of five hundred dollars a year. I continued. I didn't stop until after Anthony was born, the following year. Nannu's spirit told me I was a single mom now, and to save my money. He would understand.
Soul ties are strong. Really strong. Remember this.
https://gaiaportal.wordpress.com/2019/08/26/blue-spirals-of-the-higher-fractal-design-comes-to-the-fore/:
- Michael's energy, the blue ray, has been activated by Divine Mother. It's the real thing. People are here for that job, and they are doing it.
- https://www.shiftfrequency.com/kryon-2019-august-important-message-audio/?fbclid=IwAR3DVuwgaIATRMVhUGcfBzRquEO5yMGnd9DBz8AYEE5f-T90vLRK0kUcoew This Kryon gives an overview for the energetics of our times, the movement of energy associated with Ascension, and also, a little bit on fractals. I shared it with our readers directly yesterday.
- I know it sounds odd, but small things also mirror bigger things. I finished assembling my locked cabinet Spirit had me buy for the crystals, and put all of my collection inside it. I also cleaned the bathroom and listened to Ross' advice how to decorate the downstairs one. Anthony said it looked like a model-staged home, it didn't even look like our home, it looked that good. Everything is connected, and the Gaia Portal IS about Gaia. The things parallel what Gaia sees and does. They have for the entire run of the publication. It's not eerie. It's nice. Beautiful secondary confirmation.
What about me and Ross?
He was with us all yesterday. He told us not to buy the plug-wire-internet enhancer thing. He's a part of our family. He really is. I light candles for him, and place them at the table with us.
Raphael did a big healing on me the night before last.
And yesterday was the first day I ever experienced without that Bella Thorne problem afflicting me.
It was totally gone.
Anything can heal. And furthermore, sometimes giving up is a fast track to healing. When you are at your limit, and you tell Spirit you just aren't going to get it, and you see the pattern -- it's a form of healing too. Spirit can step in and assist.
It's so nice not having that specter hanging over me. That's a miracle in and of itself.
Ross had me lay down for twenty minutes after I got back from dropping our Freshman off at school for the first day. I just talked from my heart, and sought comfort. He asks me questions, and somehow in answering them I end up feeling better and having hope.
There's a lot to be done today, many errands. And I will get a head start on them. Ross has nothing to add.
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Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Family of three <3 plus two from our past life together <3
