Today was not an easy day. But I am keeping true to my promise to Spirit to write.
The reason it was not easy was that I was called in to work. I was in the 'on standby' position. After breakfast at nine a.m. the phone rang and it was the charge nurse. I brought Anthony with me and promised him favorite lunch. But one more case added, and I was the one assigned to start the case for the anesthesiologist who was delayed on his assignment line up. So instead, Anthony went down with me to the Doctor's Dining Room, someplace he has never seen. I did it to save time.
He was thrilled.
And I made it on time to my next case.
My plan for my day had been to catch up with things, and take care of my car. I own two. The second one I drive on the weekends, it is a Z-4 I bought in 2003 when I was angry at God for having no reason to drive a mini-wagon. I wanted a family with all my heart and everything was falling apart in my life at the time. Infertility. Divorce. Having to move.
After an April Fool's joke where three women in the plastic surgery office made appointments to talk with the surgeon boss and confess pregnancy, two of us ended up actually pregnant by June! And I kept the car.
Anthony ended up having his car seat next to me because it was the only spare seat in the car. It turned out to be a wonderful blessing for us not to have him in the back seat. But that is another story.
I had wanted to bring the gifts from Switzerland to my sisters and mom. Anthony and I shopped when we were in Zurich. So after the work was complete, we went to see mom, and it was good.
Having this direct line to Spirit which feels like fire in my chest, a fire that isn't like heartburn or anything else I have ever felt on Earth or in Spirit, is like having a rudder when sudden changes hit me in life.
I realized that the patients needed me. My energy. My attitude. My encouragement. And my healing skills. They needed the gift of me for the day and that took priority over my interests, my plans, and my personal time. Boom! Time to shift gears and go to work, right?
Things will work out in the long run. My Z-4 won't pass the smog inspection. I tried it in February. They couldn't read the computer in the car. The engine itself is fine smog-wise. There had been an air bag that needed replacing last year, so my mechanic said to let the dealer do it. The car itself isn't worth much. But I love it. And now it stalls, even once on the freeway. It just loses power. I will need a tow to get it to the mechanic. What will be will be and I will face it when it arrives.
I had wanted to take a sample of the swimming pool water to the place to test it. I'm learning how to manage the chemicals. Anthony was brilliant and checked the filter. It has to be replaced every two weeks, and it looked awful.
We swam anyway. I used the indicator strip and have an idea how to fix it. I added some liquid chlorine and some tablets.
Tomorrow is another day.
I can catch up on my reading, on my emails, on my lists. Just not tonight. It can wait.
What matters is I know what is important. My patients. My son. My mom. My family. My friends. Our pets. These are forever.
What also matters, thanks to the work of Dolores Cannon, is how much I choose to fight my lessons. It's my attitude which is forever. Am I gracious and accepting? Do I have the ability to roll with the punches and not lose sight of what is dear to me? Am I being LOVE, and in particular, letting the energy of the Divine Feminine flow out through me without hidden walls or barriers in my heart?
My mom had a wonderful quote for me after I showed her all of the pictures from our trip.
She asked, 'There is so much beauty out there in the world! Why don't people just go enjoy being alive more often?'
She has a good point. The Earth experience is made for joy. Not a joy of our own creation in our minds, something easily molded by outside influence. It's a joy of the appreciation of our gifts of our senses, our loved ones, our likes and dislikes, and the ability to know others well enough to know THEIR likes and dislikes.
Everyone is a work of art, a gift of Divine Creator. YOU are a gift created by the Divine. Share your gift with the world! The gift of joy and spontaneity, the gift of surprise, the gift of the unexpected.
As Herve in France wisely said, while I was crying at the site where Jeannine's ashes were placed, 'you have to take the good with the bad, this is Life.' I had asked at dinner where Jeannine was, so perhaps I could see her. The family didn't expect the question, and was surprised to be asked. I didn't know she wasn't buried somewhere, or her ashes in a tiny grave for that. They said she was in a beautiful place she had thought long and hard to select. Herve had shown Anthony and me Chateau Seche, and was driving home. I recognized the town Jeannine lived, but didn't understand. He parked the car, and said there was something for us to see. I didn't understand. He guided me to a tree and asked me to sit down under it. I saw dried rose petals but didn't understand. Then he said, 'this is where Jeannine is'. Immediately I burst into tears. Her suffering. How I had absolutely no clue when I saw her last that she was unwell or would be gone in four months from Stage 4 colorectal cancer! Yet I was so grateful to know, to experience, where her final resting place is. She had actually spoken to me in the car on the way. She's waiting for her mother. And to give the bracelets to her. I had found extra ones around, and thought I had packed them, but I searched and searched later that night--they were not to be found. That combination of mediumship, and the kindness of Herve, helped me to grieve and to heal. Her spot is under a tree, by the river Cher, and near a place where women could wash clothes in the village. It's beautiful. Jeannine never complained. Not once. Because it's a French philosophy about Life--life is good! and it must be taken both with the good and the bad without judging it. You just let it flow.
It's true.
Everyone gets a little of both good and bad experiences. So don't let the hard times affect you as they may have done in the past. With my heart center soaking in the energy of the Divine energy--it's like a totally different 'sense' that's online and on fire. You see what matters with clarity. And you know as long as that flow is going, no matter what, you are going to be okay. Everything will work out. You, your guides, your Councils, your Higher Self, and Divine Creator are intelligent, loving and kind.
Tomorrow is another day.
And tonight I must rest.
Ross has been not near, not far, but gently guiding me. I would have liked to have had my own day. But it's okay to make the best of the day as it arrives, too. I'm so glad I saw my mother and showed her all the photos. She was amazed by the beauty, the kindness and generosity of our loved ones, and the joy she could see in the photos. She told me, many times again and again with new photos, when I was in them, 'you look good'.
She hasn't said that to me in a long time. The work shows. The responsibility of being a single parent shows. The whole other world I don't talk to her about (she told me to stop the blog and stop sharing so much years ago, bless her )--shows. It is a both a miracle and a blessing to have someone who knows you and wants your happiness more than anything. I'm so grateful for her presence. And for the life she gave me. Not only my life, life, but the Southern California sunshine, where flowers are in the yard year round, and we pick oranges off the tree in the back yard. Where she took me and my sister one summer to the same beach every single day, and now the ocean is a part of me. There's so much more to share, but it's getting late. Just know, it's a wonderful life experience my parents provided for we three sisters. It really is.
So good night, and Ross and I share our love with you. Keep your chin up, open your eyes, and see the love which totally surrounds you 24/7, 365, year in and year out.
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple
