I'm different.
I meditate twice a day.
I don't watch T.V. except for sports with Anthony.
I don't date and go out and party. I stay home. I love my garden. I love my pets. I love my family.
I write.
I had been looking for a career in bringing Reiki, what I know, into the hospitals, and to people outside the hospitals who resonate with it.
It is my life calling.
What switched is that now, I don't look at the outcome. I look at now. And by letting go of my need for 'financial support' I slipped somewhat by accident into the realm of the ability to co-create with Spirit.
I now see needs and the opportunity to fill them...whether or not I get paid...simply because the need is so great and the work needs to be done.
It's like I have a new pair of glasses for my outlook on life.
I would love, love, love to wake up at six in the morning every day, instead of four or four thirty. I would adore to have the assurance of financial security from Spirit. I would enjoy having the free time to follow through with my many projects I keep juggling like spinning plates.
But I'm not telling Spirit, 'you give me this first and THEN I will do what you ask.'
It's more in real time, and Spirit and I are working together.
Yesterday I had a huge breakthrough. My son and I went to Disneyland. We have the passes, and we rarely get the time. It was a Monday, he's on Thanksgiving breaks and it was pouring rain. What better chance to beat the crowds, right?
Wrong!
I've never seen the place more packed!
We waited over one hour for a table for lunch, it was about one hour in line for the Jungle Cruise, and we fast passed the Haunted Mansion. We took a photo with Sleeping Beauty, and we watched the holiday parade. We never even set foot in Tomorrowland.
If it wasn't for the Pokeman all over the place and the poke stops, it would have been a disaster! But for us, together it was fun and we took over two gyms for about five minutes each. One was at the castle.
I manifested a table at lunch where we could both charge up our phones!
I had even brought the two phone chargers! For those of you who know Disney, this type of table is rare!
And we stalled! Gumbo. Then salad for me. Then his main dish. Then we split a dish...until the phones were almost fully charged.
This brings me to my next point...I am trying to figure out the responsibility of the general population/collective consciousness for looking the other way when horrible things happen.
Yesterday was so tough. I love Disney. I've loved them my whole life. And at the parade, I was excited not just to see the characters from Toy Story (Anthony loved it) but to remember the happy times in our home when he was super little.
I enjoyed watching all of the people at Disneyland enjoying time with their loved ones. People are very peaceful now, polite, and kind.
Part of me felt sorry for the ones who traveled great distance at great expense only to confront these horrific crowds! I saw a father who looked ready to cry, and it opened my heart because I understood how expensive the food, drinks, and souvenirs are (they are double or triple what you would pay outside) after you pay the one hundred dollars each for entrance into the park.
I smiled inwardly, because it used to be four dollars just to hang out at Disneyland park, and eleven if you wanted to go on the rides.
So much had changed.
But my research? How everything that goes on under the park, and supports Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart is visible for those who look? (over the Bengal BBQ there is a star two points up over the meat grilling area--again--an 'offering' that people don't know is taking place openly--even the people who work there probably don't understand what is going on.)
I'm torn.
My 'take' is to be a loving presence and love the crowds who are there. With unconditional love to raise the vibration. My intention is for all the harm which goes on with that organization to stop. My hope is for the love to remain.
Spiritually, I'm not sure of how much at fault we are as a society for allowing Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart to practice fake 'rituals' or real ones for that matter--in plain sight. I'm sure we have some responsibility.
Last night I asked Ross. He didn't say exactly. But Anthony and I had a fight--something we rarely do--over what movie to watch. He goes onto Netflix and uses his gaming controller. He goes fast over every choice, I can't see it, and I feel like my movies I want to watch are ignored. I get annoyed because I PAY for the damn Netflix and the TV and the x-box system! I want to have a voice in what we watch on our rare times home together. I want my turn. He has seen Kung Fu Panda 3 -- I haven't. I had to work. I've been working ever since. Kung Fu Panda was his first movie. We saw the second, it wasn't as good, but we went to the theater too. By the time after the fight he realized I wanted to watch it and was upset, I didn't want to watch it any more. If things take too long, I won't eat, I won't watch, I just can't.
So we watched about Russian history, and Peter the Great instead. It was one hour, and we were ready for bed. We both enjoyed it.
As I was falling asleep/meditating, Ross asked me 'what is the greatest joy you ever had in your life?'
I realized it is Anthony. His being a kid with me. Every day.
And I felt AWFUL for the argument. I was truly sorry.
I 'got' that this is how it is going to be when people wake up to the truth of Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart--genuinely feeling sorry for not stopping it sooner, and Spirit not pointing out other than gently when the fault lies with us, our choices, our perceptions, and our habits and customs.
Here's one last thing to share.
My dad used to say it.
A person was afraid of snakes. He avoided them at all costs. Then he was afraid of the garden hose, because in the yard with the light it almost looked like a snake. Then he was afraid of both snakes and the hose. This trend continued with more and more snakelike things, until he was afraid of the noodles on his plate!
My father used to coach me to 'face my fears'. He'd work with me. And gradually they went away. He called me 'Carla the conqueror', much to my embarrassed delight.
It's a very important lesson.
The only fear that remained with me was spiders. And a friend helped me to get over that one when I was twenty-five. I will always be grateful to her for helping me with that.
Spirit guided me to share that part. I hope it's helpful for you. It was for me just to remember it.
Ross is going to have to wait until next time. I must prepare myself for work and Anthony to take him to the family member who will watch him. There's no school this week.
My stones right now are Bixbite and gem rhodonite. I also have a lightning-struck lemurian quartz from a pocket in Brazil. I'm really getting the energy UP and working with the collective (all the persons I heal, millions and millions of people every day) to increase the harmony and sense of togetherness and 'we can do it' for the group.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Carla the Reiki Doc
