Something is up. I can't put my finger on it. It's not a bad thing, and it's not a good thing. It just IS.
When you feel something intuitively, it's really hard to find the right words. As tough as it may be, Ross wants me to write about it.
There is the energy of 'finality' out 'there'...
- With this link about the feelings of abandonment from Source http://ronahead.com/2016/01/14/unconscious-beliefs-the-council/
- And this Creator Writings about A Little Death https://thecreatorwritings.wordpress.com/2016/01/13/a-little-death/
- What happened yesterday on the way to work--Ashtar and Ross, almost giddy--filled with anticipation and excitement. They told me 'the cat is out of the bag' and there's some announcement not near my coast--looks on Eastern Seaboard by their gesture--which will 'match' yesterday's blog. So I'm not the 'discloser', but something else is.
- Our being incredibly happy and blessed as a family at home. Ross bought us a pie. He wanted a vegan pumpkin pie. It cost almost fifteen dollars at the market. I balked! But he wanted it, it's Anthony's favorite, and a man took the next to last dessert right while I was looking! It was a layered gluten-free vegan pie. 'The kind I like!' Ross smiled. So we had also something else new that I invented, a side dish different from the carrots, but close enough--it was butternut squash in little cubes, leek in half-moon slices, a little celery and lemon juice cooked in butter in a non-stick ceramic pan. Anthony game me the biggest hug of thanks, he enjoyed our meal so much..and it made me sad, to remember, the night before my grandfather died, he thanked my grandmother very much for the roast beef and told her it was most delicious she had ever made.
- My dreams!!! Last night I was driving to a new neighborhood. I saw the biggest water fall I had ever seen in my life, like a Niagara Falls bank of falls--to the left of the street. The street was flooded. Tons of tourists and spectators were here to see the display of this energy of the water! When I say 'flooded' I mean cars stuck in four feet deep water that was ice cold from the snow melt. So I parked and tried to get a view. But there were some pools, like tanks really, and people ahead of me were walking on the edge to get to the falls. Then someone told me to swim and we all jumped into the tanks that had warm, greenish hue water that was still clean and not foul. I found myself sinking fast in the beautiful water. I could see clear, I didn't panic, but I felt the weight of the water on me. My ears did not pop. It seemed like I went down thirty feet, until I saw the rocks on the bottom, small grey ones. Unlike the others, I wanted to find my way up. I struggled, and swam to the top. The funny thing about this water was there was no buoyancy at all, and no bubbles from our breath. It was crystal clear with a green tint. It was the same color as safety glass in the automobiles a long time ago. THAT green. I got to the top, climbed out, and wasn't cold. I wasn't sure if I was wet or dry but I didn't need a towel. Then I woke up. (usually I don't dream. This is significant.)
- Anthony got a tiny glass of prosecco last night. I took out my best, my Perrier-Jouet hand painted flower glasses I got as a graduation present from medical school, from my friend Denise. Ross, Anthony and I did a toast. Then Anthony toasted 'to Toast!' (as in bread). Then he raised his glass, and he said, 'to our nice dinner, our home, your good job, my good school, our health--except my toe--our being home together early tonight...' and I paraphrased for him, 'for our Life that is Good?' He agreed. He didn't know, and he never once read, Ross and my post yesterday on the Joie de Vivre! And yet he FELT it! He was moved to say something about it too!
I'm not going to split hairs.
And I'm not going to write so long as to be interrupted...Ross???
(He told me when I asked him, 'what am I supposed to call you when I get mad?'--he said I can call him 'Ben Yoo Hoo'. LOL. I almost called him that there now, but you wouldn't understand...)
You know the old thing where 'if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there, will it make a sound?'
That's my response to the Council post. You can have all the angels and guides and Creator's field of Love surround you, but if you can't 'sense' it, are they REALLY there???
We are like little Helen Kellers in Spirit, here in the material world--I can see and hear for the group, but except for the warm blanket feeling every now and then I get 'lost' in the Illusion too.
Why can't we come Home, beloved and most esteemed Council?
Why have we no free will to do what we want, and travel the universe on a whim?
Why are we who are sick of the status quo, and madly expending our energy on all fronts to change it, so dismal at finding out way OUT of 'the Matrix'???
Our Freedom feels 'trapped', and we don't like it. Why does the Collective, and the rights of all of humanity, supersede our individual ones?
Are we like ants? That live as one hive with our energy? Are we like bees--we are not one or the other but a whole swarm of them with our souls?
What AM I?
Why am I here?
I 'get' the Ambassador of Heaven part in holding the energies. I just wish there was some sort of furlough--where I could go home and rest and see my family--as long as I am deployed in this place.
Your answers beat around the bush, dear Council, and they also add a layer of guilt on us that frankly, we can do without: the abandonment from God issue is one you need to work out--it's not TRUE.
Please? Take me to the doctor to get the wax taken out of my ears, that I may HEAR and KNOW God is with me.
Please, take me to the doctor, to take the scales off my eyes, that I may SEE this 'being surrounded by angels and guides'...
Yesterday, I saw a marvelous cloud. And it felt like the NJ, Ross' ship. It was near, overhead. And I rejoiced! Because I could SEE it that Ross was 'close', and know in my heart he wasn't going to 'zap in' or 'pop in' or do any of the unsettling things like that our beloved Galactic Brothers and Sisters are known to do. My heart RELAXED with the thought, this is a fly by! He is right there!!!
These are the questions which need to be answered.
Council please dearly notice, I have taken great pains to avoid the concept of 'When' in my interaction with you. I know all too well the Now and The Inevitable can be days, weeks, months, years--and, like the guilt from the 'working things out' mentioned above--the timing is all due to US, not as individuals but as a collective, and the decision as to WHEN is not made by us. It's 'not personal' it's 'some energy measurement' or 'threshold' that we can't understand even if you explain it to us.
Yes, the separation from Source IS painful. I've worked it through, time and again. Being apart from my twin for over forty years, and miserable. I have joy now, but those years didn't have to be so lonely.
I surrender one more time to A) I have no control over my life--this one is dedicated to Creator and B) I have no idea when anything is going to happen, live or die, when it comes to getting Home, although I MISS it terribly, and C)this probably isn't going to be the last time I surrender in the hope that perhaps surrendering will in some way get me closer to Ross and to Home and the heck out of where I am stuck!
I feel so ignorant.
This embarrasses me more than being deaf and blind and dumb, while I am incarnate--my spirit eyes and ears that once served me well barely work. Can I have a hearing aid? Can you speak up?
It's been a long, long, very long road. With yesterday's 'message' from my Twin and Ashtar, I KNOW even though I hope it will 'come out' soon, anything of significance won't show up on the controlled media until that is no longer controlled by Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart...
It's a stretch but I trust. And I wait.
I feel like this song...waiting...
And again, there is this 'rejection'...sigh...
I'm going to buy some Seamanite. It's good for giving hope.
(he is very quiet) I have been accused of not loving my Lady. (he waves his hand up and out--ed)
Right here on this page.
Carla stands in accusal and raised her fist to Heaven, and to the Council.
It this a rebellion?
(he embraces me, and I soften--ed) Carla, I am HERE!
The nightmare is going to end!
It SHALL end!
I will see to it.
Carla? Do you trust me? Except for the pie? (it was terrible--all mushy with no crust--ed)
C: Yes, Ross, I'll always trust you, yes.
The worry not about the feelings of inadequacy and being overpowered by the collective that arise in you; give them to me. I will take them away for you, so you may function, and otherwise enjoy your realm, in the short time ahead of us before we reunite. I'm not talking about forever!
(I'm crying as he kneels and looks in my eyes as I sit here--he's so patient, so smart, so good--so utterly consistent in his treatment of me--ed)
I didn't want it to happen like this.
Not any of us did when then whole thing got arranged.
I am talking about the Illusion.
It wasn't meant to hurt you, or anyone. It was to only be a scare, something 'different' to break the monotony up--if you can have love and joy and fellowship ever be 'monotonous'...
C: Was it a mistake?
Carla, there are never mistakes! There has been much learning that has come out from it! But (drops his voice--ed) the whole thing got out of hand.
(we communicate without words, and I SENSE that Creator and all of our Galactic family is SORRY--It's like I'm getting a huge 'we're sorry' apology from those who are not in the Illusion,and I'm just bawling because nowhere in any of the channeled messages or my communication has anyone crossed that line, the one that separates from 'it just IS' to 'it's not TRUE' to we are so sorry you have felt these feelings of not being good enough and rejected from God. I realize it's not my FAULT to be stuck here where I am! It has nothing/little to do with my Pre-Birth Contract--feeling like a second-hand Galactic Citizen wasn't written into it in the first place, and I never would have signed it.--ed)
Carla is soothed, at the moment.
I want you, each one, to reflect on what has just happened between us, Carla and I, her Ben Yoo Hoo (he smiles--ed)--and how Carla has opened her heart....
How does it affect your heart? And your feelings about Source, and why you are here 'stuck' as Ambassadors to the general population and are 'docked in port' so to speak, for longer than you wish, from the Higher Realms?
That is all I have to say at this time... (clap clap--ed)
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Couple