I was at my hospital for thirty-one hours straight on my last call shift this month. During that time, I was pressured not to eat during my main OR line up assignment of cases. Why? Because the surgeon had a dinner at a 'meat based restaurant in a fancy area' planned for the whole group that was paid for by the sales representatives for some equipment he was using, and didn't want to be late.
Actually, the surgeon said, announcing to the room, 'everyone who is helping us today is going to be going to that dinner'.
I asked, 'does that mean me?'
And he looked at me, astonished, and said, 'how are you helping us?' and explained even though I am working with them all day I am not 'on the team'.
I was surprised. I knew I couldn't go because I was on call. But the surgeon wanted fast, fast turnover. Fortunately I had brought a handful of energy bars in my bag and had some in my pocket.
That's what my life is reduced to when I work. I am completely beaten down, and even though I walk through the nurses' lounge to use the toilet, and they are all getting breaks, and all the techs are getting breaks, I don't even challenge the status quo that I am not given breaks to tend to my needs like lunch and dinner.
I am broken.
Instead I feel lucky to be allowed to drink water. And I take a cup of half hot, half cold water quickly in gulps between every other case.
When his assistant, a physician assistant, found out I'm sacrificing food to keep the lineup going as he demands, she was shocked. Absolutely. And asked if I wanted a protein bar? I told her I had them.
I had let her go to pump because she has a little baby at home, and it had been a long time, so she ran to her office and pumped between cases.
I had mentioned to the surgeon perhaps one of the two surgeons could come at the start of the case because she needed to pump, and he, again astonished, exclaimed, that 'she doesn't do anything' so there was no need for them to cover.
I've seen what she does. She makes sure the screens are in the right positions and all the equipment is ready and in order because he's super picky.
And this is a young guy. Kind of a Kylo Ren looking guy.
But after that lineup, around dinner time, I was permitted food. I went to the cafeteria, ordered a chicken quesadilla, spinach, watermelon and yogurt.
I turned on the baseball game on my phone and enjoyed the fresh air. Remember I'm in an N95 mask all day long inside the building.
The charge nurse from the O.R. asked me what was taking so long. The next surgeon was here and was very upset. He wanted to go to do a case at another hospital, and she wouldn't let him. As I was walking upstairs, having eaten all but the spinach, which I had labeled carefully in its container and put into the PACU fridge...she is texting me if I should let another anesthesiologist start my case. So, as I'm writing the note and setting up, my colleague is asking how she can help? And for me, telling someone how to help is actually more work than doing it on my own. You want me to start the case? You want me to talk to the patient? You want...on and on and on. Such PRESSURE. Finally I said, 'get me an endotracheal tube ready please.' and went to get my restricted drugs needed for anesthesia from the big robotic machine in the hallway, another total time waster.
The surgeon rushed through the case in fifteen minutes. Honest to God. And announced to the room that 'care was not compromised for this surgery'. And took off.
I tried to sleep. So grateful to rest, but I remembered a colleague was doing a very sick case. I got report, finished his anesthesia care plan, and went to rest. When the OR woke me up, and said I have to go intubate a patient upstairs, in ICU, I realized it was one I had just dropped off. I went to the pharmacy to get some stronger reversal because the OR supply had run out. They struggled to find me some as it was night crew. While I was standing there, the surgeon called me and screamed at me to go right up and intubate, the pH was 7.2 (actually, 7.29, normal is 7.4) and that his patient was SEPTIC and should never have been extubated! So with my drugs in my pocket from pharmacy, I went up to ICU, and intubated, realizing I'd left my eyeglasses in the call room.
Gently I explained I had relieved the other physician, his plan was to extubatne, he said it with such confidence I thought he'd checked with you. Next time I will ask you directly.
I rested until another case went at ten thirty until midnight. I worked the next day, starting at 0700. Then I had to stick around until 1300, because no one could cover me, and I had an appointment with my own doctor, first in four years, at 1520. (I had wanted medical exemption when I made the appointment long time ago.) I rested in the car, and walked to a new restaurant across the street for lunch. Spirit told me to go. There was a very strange character, male, thin, with a witch hat and lots of chains hanging on his pants--who was digging through the trash as I ate. I think I had to be there for that. His energy was awful, demonic, and I carefully looked at my plate and nothing else. Back to the hospital at 12:30, I prepared for a patient, and my colleague relieved me before I could make a dime off the case. I was so glad to go home.
My doctor shared a number of things I can't really share about that thing that goes in your shoulder. But I have first-hand information that not only is it true, it's a lot of cases just in that office and provider. It's puzzling to them, why people don't talk about it. One patient even ended up with permanent autoimmune kidney failure and needs dialysis now. My doctor took the JJ, from coercion from work. The two week waiting period after was agony wondering what side effect might befall them as a married couple. And a leg started to burn. The right one. The inguinal lymph nodes were so swollen that blood flow wasn't good to the leg, but it recovered.
Here is the Schumann for today http://sosrff.tsu.ru/new/shm.jpg?.fbclid=IwAR13_jNItf6LSoK7YaAO5iIt1l-GY2CnABsgx61RQ67DAFtoryLjMELIapg
I get a sense of us being like tuning forks. And when one is near the other it starts to vibrate too.
Hold your vibration.
For me, I'm going to 'depleted' much faster than usual, and it's just about every day I'm at work. I'm having to work harder and harder on filling my cup (meditation, sunshine, rest, good food) and being easier on myself, (skip the bathroom cleaning, Ross said to me the other day).
Remember we are here for a reason, and embody it.
The posts against people who do not wish to experience the shoulder thing are getting more and more violent. I saw one that was really, really bad. The evil and the brainwashing are on high volume now, and many are asleep. To respond to it, I said one word, 'ouch'.
If people only had taken the red pill, they would know who runs the world, and what battle we are in, not just for our lives, but for our souls, and for the control of earth and her destiny.
Brain washing works.
Evil is desperate to assert control.
Remember Jesus and Heaven, and make all your decisions to get you in alignment with them. Home is forever. Here is not.
Here is a reminder and an encouragement for us
I need to run and get ready for work again.
Thank you for all your blessings you send my way. It really helps. And I hope you appreciate what information I can give you from the front lines. Everyone is at their breaking point. Business isn't good. That's why they are snapping at me.
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple
