Today I get to take my life back. I have time off. Almost a week. And it's not going to be a holiday. It's going to be a 'get back on my feet and get my life in order', 'work even harder than you do when you are at work' kind of week.
Already I have been up since four a.m., doing laundry, because Anthony has no clothes to wear.
We had a 'discussion' last night. Again, about how this house needs to be streamlined, and even just to keep it running, it's too much work for one person alone. Typically, I cook and clean and do laundry. Anthony is willing to help, but I have to ask. And the last two months, even writing 'honey do' lists for tasks to do has been over my head.
My French lessons? I dropped them, I will come back to them, but there wasn't time. The swimming? Same thing. In my perfect world I will do that every day.
What's going right? The cooking. I made kalua pork, cabbage and rice yesterday. Kalua pork is what they cook down in the imu (Hawaiian word for fire pit) all day. Some Hawaiian restaurants serve this here too. But it's easy, super duper duper easy. You will love it, if you eat meat. The motivation was meat on discount at the local supermarket, natural, all vegetarian fed. I bought a shoulder roast and a tenderloin. You need liquid smoke, the mesquite kind, and pacific sea salt. I had the coarse one from New Zealand. You will also need a slow cooker. You lay the meat out on a cutting board, you take your sharpest meat fork, and you poke it a lot, all over. Then you rub the sea salt into both sides of the meat. After that you rub the liquid smoke into both sides. Next you put it in the slow cooker, the crock pot. I have a multi-cooker, it's like a glorified rice cooker, and I used the slow cook setting. You cook it for twenty hours. Halfway through, you turn the meat over onto the other side. To serve with it, at the end, you chop cabbage into bite size pieces and stir fry it in a little olive oil. And you make rice. I used my donobe clay cooker.
The other thing that's right is Anthony and I talked about this house. There's very little storage, and it's an 'open concept' home. He explained to me how his dad has only one pot of each kind, it's cheap, and he has hardly anything in the kitchen. He said lots of people his dad's age are like that. They don't like things. They have very little things. And that's why they don't like mess and it's easy to throw out. Everything is cheap. But for our house, we have things that have value either because it's well-made (Le Creuset in the kitchen), or it's got emotional meaning to us (the yellow rocking chair my dad bought me from the swap meet for five dollars and I've had it since medical school.)...
The point is we are going to work together to clean everything as a team. I showed him my only organized drawer, my one with my hair brushes. I had gone to a discount place and bought little bamboo boxes to hold things. So I have spot for everything. I also told him he will need to let me know what clothes don't fit or are worn, because I don't have the time to go through everything with him like I always have, holding it up and asking, 'is this okay? keep or toss?'.
He made a comment as to why on Sundays we have these discussions. And I realized it's the only day we are both home long enough to actually talk.
It's true.
This week I need to have three of me, one to tend to the Reikidoc needs, one to our household needs (including smog checks for the cars), and one to our health (making appointments).
I noticed our garden has citrus leaf miner. The lemons are misshapen and bizarre. So are many leaves on the citrus. Here's a really nice chart I found, if you have citrus too: http://ucce.ucdavis.edu/files/datastore/530-15.pdf
I keep my eyes and ears open. And even though my life is going all the time, go, go, go, I find things.
First thing I found is acceptance of what is. I had the weekend off, Anthony was with his dad, and I wanted to catch up on things.
I realized, 'when?'...in the morning I took care of the refinance, in the afternoon was Anthony's grandmothers (not my mom, his dad's mom) party, and Sunday was the baseball game, all morning long.
I did dishes.
I also rested because of the sleep disruption on Friday night.
Awareness. That was the first jewel.
The second was the nurse who hosted the party. She switched to working for an insurance company, and had been the grandmother's boss for a long time. Her husband had back surgery. He was in a lot of pain. And she shared how she had sciatica. It was okay in the mornings but every day around eleven it would start to get painful for her. Her doctors recommended surgery. But she just didn't feel it was right for her. She went to an acupuncturist because what did she have to lose? The acupuncturist said she couldn't heal the disc pressing on the nerve but she could decrease the inflammation on the nerve. The nurse gave the acupuncturist five treatments, as the nurse was skeptical. But by the fourth treatment, her pain went completely away! She went once a month for maintenance for several months. She also took herbs that she would burp up and taste nasty that was part of the acupuncture. That was two years ago, she's been pain free ever since!
This second jewel is honesty among medical professionals. Healing is important, and it crosses all disciplines. Whenever healing takes place everyone wins.
The last was from talking with the wife of the cousin of the birthday celebrant. She was very Mexican, old school Mexican with a sister living there, wearing lots of turquoise and taking everything in. Her name is Concha. As it turns out, she has kidney failure, much like my mother did before her transplant. We talked. She said that when they put the needle in her arm she cries like a baby. She hates it. Sometimes she sings to cheer up the other people in the neighboring dialysis chairs, they love it. But the time, three hours three times a week, for a total of nine hours on the machine...and the diet restrictions (no high potassium foods, no high phosphorous foods, no high magnesium foods)...in her words everything that is 'delicious' she can't eat. She told me each day is a gift, life is beautiful, and even though it's difficult for her, it's worth it just to be alive.
The third jewel is gratitude. Gratitude and perspective. From someone who really has the qualifications to say it, Concha.
The last one, is the secret from the O.R. I shared with Anthony. He asked me why belly buttons stink so bad when you clean them?
I said, that's the only thing in the O.R. that freaks nurses out. Dirty belly buttons. Always clean them. Use a little soap every time you shower. These nurses can handle poop, pee, blood, vomit. But when they prep the abdomen for surgery, they need to clean the belly button with a wooden q-tip. And when they find things like globs of old dirt they just go, 'ewwwww! yuck!' and almost throw up. They still take care of the patients. But just like wearing clean underwear for the ER, just in case of an accident, always clean your belly button. Don't go crazy, especially if you are diabetic. A little soap and water will do. You would be amazed how few people actually clean them.
What's going on in spirit? Kind of a lot. I'm able to see the chess moves in real time by the dark ones. They move really, really slowly, across generations. I also disengage from them as much as possible.
I had a bad dream with Kanye and Kim in it, and my needing to get carpal tunnel surgery. I don't know why I like Kanye but I do. I think it was from him being honest in Sacramento that one time. I can see why he disrupted the grammy awards with Taylor Swift long time ago. It was scripted and it's part of the narrative. I won't go into it, but stuff like that I can see. And with the dream, I'm like, I know they are gearing up in my area...team dark. Check this out: https://www.speakersla.com Oooh, right? CIA agents. Hanoi Jane. A full embodiment of an Archon. Lord knows who else but they must be card-carrying, high ranking members of TWDNHOBIAH and who knows what kinds of ceremonies take place in the basement of the auditorium at midnight?
There's only so much that can be done from the ground. I don't even talk about it with Ross, because loose lips sink ships. I just do my job as best as I can and try not to pay attention to the psychological advanced triggers that are in the media today. Even on Twitter too. In other words, it's crunch time.
I made bracelets last night. Anthony has been bugging me for a new one since his broke. I like how it turned out. I made one for me, very light strong energy. Ours both have aquamarine, and when he asked why we always talk on Sunday nights--the bracelets had been on about thirty minutes--and I thought to myself, 'they're working!' lol.
I'm also making one for a friend. It's seraphinite. The little chips are the hardest ones to make. I can't see the holes. And the hole size isn't consistent. For a wire, sure, easy to thread. But for strong enough elastic? I put twice as many chips to the side as the ones I actually thread. I am careful to check the edges of each chip bead and never include a sharp one. Spirit is guiding me to make it. I like the energy of the chip as opposed to the bead. It's more natural. It's also nice because they take what is left after making beads and other items, and salvage the chips and make beads out of them. It's a wonderful practice.
The laundry is done. The bird needs to be uncovered. I'm going to be making breakfast soon. We caught two rats in our many traps last night. Younger ones. They went for the snickers bars. I need to find my gloves so I can dispose of them.
My goal for today is to make a list of everything I need to get done --not for today but for current times. And to do what I can while Anthony is at school!
Ross
I am very happy with Carla and her development. It is grounded, reasonable, earthy, and realistic in her expectations. She knows for herself that Rome wasn't built in a day. She understands a home with less things in it is going to make her life easier. She also appreciates the permission Anthony gave her to make the house how SHE likes it, not how the people who remodeled it made it, or even how it needs to be streamlined. It made an impression on her that yes, she is paying for is, yes, they are the only ones living there and yes, even though she would like to have people over they really don't have time for it.
She also has a project she is wanting to make, something beautiful to sell, and it will take a little glass cutting skills to make it. She started the first part of the project the other night, and it felt very good for her to create.
I want you to remember while you are balanced with one foot in both worlds, not to neglect the earthly side. You have needs. They are mental, physical, emotional ones. They are important. Spend the time and the resources to make sure your needs are fulfilled, that you aren't scrimping.
As Anthony said, the best he's ever seen the old house was when we moved out of it, and it was empty. Anyone who is living in a house is going to have stuff, it's not going to look perfect.
You need to eat. So you might as well have the resources to eat according to your preferences. For Carla, it is a well-equipped, what someone might call, a 'chef's kitchen'. It is her hobby. The style of Jared might not be well suited to her skill set in the kitchen. Honor your skill set, and get rid of everything that is getting in the way for your perfect life.
Keep an ear open to Big News--be it online, alternative, or conventional media--but don't let yourself get bogged down in it.
Do what is right for you.
And keep your dreams.
Carla will go back to her French and her swimming. Starting tomorrow. : )))
Now I told her to make the croissants. Trader Joe has very delicious small frozen ones.
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The couple who love each other very much
