The onslaught continues and we face it resolute as changes to our daily life continue.
Countdown is now 106.
Here are some bullet points of major learning:
- Part of why I stuck it out at the old house so long is I didn't want to be a 'loser' and leave because of 'outside influences'. This isn't right, spiritually. What I am beginning to see is, when a problem is unsolvable, it is perfectly permissible to walk away from it--that is, not to escape, but to realize the situation and 'cut your losses'.
- A 'fresh start' is highly desirable and encouraged by Spirit. When you realize the very few things you love are the only things you have to bring with you, and the rest is just, extra that can be taken care of in other ways, it's a whole new perspective. Spirit WANTS you to have that new feeling to begin again. For all of my adult life, I've lugged my 'stuff' with me--it's useable, etc etc. It's unnecessary. It truly is. (it reminds me of the Paul Simon song, fifty ways to leave you lover. You just do something, anything, to get yourself free.)
- You also don't have to have everything 'solved' to move on to a 'fresh start'. The current house I'm in, I didn't invest into it because of little things all homeowners face that I blew completely out of proportion with fear. These things are on the way to being fixed now, but not because I'm going to stay here.
- You are YOU regardless of how much money is in reserve in your bank account. I'm raised by depression era parents. You always SAVE for 'just in case'. Well...what happens is you lose track of your goals. And you get miserable. When you have a clear-cut objective--in our case, a better life for our family--your mental focus becomes sharp. Many people have more immediate day-to-day constraints. Since tomorrow isn't a guarantee, there's a healthier balance than either extreme. A little saving, a little spending on something that's meaningful to you.
- Spirit wants for your dreams to come true. Ross told me this morning my happiness means a whole lot more to him than I would ever guess. Let me share a little more in the next paragraph...
I've been seeing people's photos of their homes, and cringing inside because theirs were open and mine was cluttered. The worst was when my friend the ENT surgeon showed me the piano his family got. It was a wonderful deal, a baby grand piano, well, not a full concert grand but big. My heart sank. Here was my dream and there's no way to ever be able to get it. I was overjoyed for my friend, and his boys who are starting to learn.
Spirit heard my heart.
The other day at Costco, there was even an annual sale on pianos, same kind as mine, an upright.
I felt the nudge.
I didn't go for it. A grand is VERY expensive. But I appreciated the nudge and the validation of my dream.
My house in my future reminds me a great deal of a hotel where I've been in my 'Heaven on Earth'.
Last night, there was a nudge, a white sale, for hotel bedding and towels. Twenty percent off!
I didn't get everything, but I got enough to know that in my future, Ross wants me to feel more like 'Heaven on Earth' and less like where I am currently now. I realized even further, that even though Anthony hates his dresser--we've had fourteen good years out of it, and it's OKAY to get something new. Same with the bedding. Same with the towels.
I've been fixated on 'it still is functional' and 'why spend money'.
I never saw it more clearly than when I took all the magnets and photos off my refrigerator yesterday. Anthony was in shock. He's never seen it without all the 'flair'! But what I saw, is that my 1996 Kenmore side by side which works and has followed me everywhere ever since, is old and tired. That's the truth I was too blind to see.
Would I be happy in a time capsule from the 1970's to live? Yes. I feel comforted by the 70's, 80's and 90's. But that's not today. It's hard to be with friends and family who are into 'today'. Yes, they look the other way, and still love you, but...still...
So the important part is to realize through change, through minimalism, we focus on the 'NOW'--which eternally is all we ever have--and even though it's tempting to hold on to comforting things from the past which are familiar, in truth, we are never separated from our Eternal Home and are encouraged to seek adventures and learn and grow...
Ross nods and smiles.
This morning I saw him clear for the first time in ages. (weeks). I was walking across a bridge and he welcomed me. He was proud, and he gave me a big hug. Over his shoulder I saw Divine Father. I was surprised (and instantly a little girl again) and asked, 'is that really you?'
Divine Father bent down and showed me his California Drivers License. It really was him. I told him how very tired I am of all the changes and growth, and he picked me up and carried me on his shoulders for a while. I'm so glad he's okay with me when I complain.
I felt Divine Mother too, but couldn't see her. He was taking me to her.
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple
