Two hundred sixty five days down, one hundred more to go.
Congratulations!
Let's look back and compare how our lives were two hundred sixty five days ago, shall we? Back around June 17, 2018, I was not a happy camper. I had just been on a trip to China with my son, and his father who had also gone as a chaperone, fell in love with one of the teachers who was returning his affections. Unfortunately, she was also living with another man, the father of her three year old son, and her two kids from a previous marriage. Rough kids. I was reeling in pain. Not from the slight, but from the old emotional wounds that had been opened up, from the humiliation of not having someone in the group (all the kids liked his dad, the Great Wall, they nicknamed him for his size, and hung out with him. The one parent like me, a veterinarian, had her father die of a massive heart attack in Singapore, which was only one hour away, and had to leave the trip.)
Other than that, life had been in the same house since 2003, and the same job since 2009. I've been working to launch my website and business with DWR to get the message out 'more'...
I was ashamed of my clutter. And I didn't have enough time to take care of myself.
I resented my work for taking time away from my family life, and from my outside interests.
Inside, I was waiting, waiting, waiting for Ascension to happen, for Ross to show up...for so many things. I was constantly looking for messages and clues and updates online just to find my way 'out' from being in this incarnate spiritual experience.
Today, Jared has a new girlfriend, a mom who is a nurse or something, and she is Basque with a young child, just one. I haven't met her. But Jared looked hard for a girlfriend. He wants to get his life 'on track', and the lease is going to expire in July for where he lives. I'm so thankful he didn't move in with Alexa one year ago.
By the way, Alexa lost her job. She got in a fight with the owner of the school, her boss, and that was it.
I'm not out of the clutter one hundred percent, but I'm making headway and understand the need. I don't want Anthony to be straddled with my stuff to go through when I pass. So I am making steps towards minimalism, which is a plus for me. In the new house, there's no art on the walls, it's very soothing. And the house, almost the same square footage as the last one, has two floors instead of three. So the furniture looks better and less cramped. I haven't bought anything new, only I need to buy some bar stools for the kitchen counter.
I'm also quickly learning that this 'huge kitchen' was not built with a cook in mind. The top cabinets are a little hard for me to reach, and the bottom ones are very low, and small. I am going to need to edit my kitchen items too, which at this point is just fine with me.
We had our challenges. The last two days were rough. Yesterday the cable man drilled through a wall and broke his drill bit, getting it stuck in the wall. I was upset and wanted them to stop. He decided to go a little lower, and then couldn't go any more. He was hitting metal. I said, 'please stop' and sent the teams home. They had long since called in backup. Four trucks were parked on the street. Anyhow, two of the workers told me I made the right call.
I didn't want that camera there. My porch swing was there. Just like at the old home. The guy had sold me a camera and wanted to have two back to back facing opposite directions. And wanted me to move the swing. I said, let's skip the cameras--and he said it's impossible because he had already closed out the work order.
It had been a long day, they had been working since ten a.m. But our service is almost the same as at the last house, and I'm okay with that.
I am calm.
I'm not seeking 'news' on 'when this is over'. I accept God's will. And I accept I have no way to know what God's will is. Furthermore I need to disengage from the 'chase' of 'knowing when this is going to end/change/whatever'.
Ross has been getting me to stand on my own two feet more and more. But I'm also learning the need to just 'let go' and 'disengage' (i.e. meditation). It is what it is, and aside from changing yourself, there's not much more we can do about it.
I'll share with you one thing I learned just today from him. He wanted us to get nice beds, new beds, both me and Anthony. I had been sleeping on one from my marriage in 1998. New mattress but same old bed. Ross wanted a fresh start. Anthony is so tall, almost six foot now, and he needed twin extra long. But we got the fancy bases that adjust.
So, this morning, Ross had me 'snooze' with the bed in a comfortable position and for the first time he told me to turn the massage feature on.
It's cheesy...I know, like a Motel 6 and it vibrates, right? Put a quarter in the bed and BZZZZZZ, lol!
But Ross' point is, when you meditate you can be comfortable, and you can treat yourself to a little 'ahhhhh' moment in the physical as well as the spiritual. They are not separate. And as long as you let your thoughts and worries go free, you are going to be good. It counts! It counts as 'meditation'.
Anyhow, it's time to go. We congratulate you on making it almost to the finish line--and we encourage you to take a good honest look at yourself.
I'm grateful for my work. I'm noticing my spirit has joy, and now that I accept I'm doing what I'm meant to do, it's easier. DWR is still my passion. But making DWR like a successful 'Shark Tank' proposal isn't in my heart...I'll keep it the way it is, and perhaps update how we interact so it's keeping up with other forms of outreach...but no big things unless Ross really is directing it. I watched Shark Tank for the first time last night with Anthony as we ate our pizza we had delivered for the first time. And guess what? The Shark's energy was very low, and I also could tell there had to be an 'occult' hidden 'connection' club thing that goes behind everything in 'the world'. Even for this type of 'entertainment'...Hidden in plain sight.
I can't wait until the day when there is no room to hide.
Don't get me started, and that's another story...
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Twins
