I made the decision. It's time to be a healer, right?
Now what?
Well, I am between both worlds.
Here is why I haven't written, or sent healings, although Ross always, always, always fills in for me when I am sick.
I was back up call. There were two long rooms scheduled.
I was on breathing treatments every four hours. Double ones. I got a 'peace pipe' gizmo from an RN and was able to take my treatments between cases.
My friend had acted like he would trade calls, because I was sick.
But I didn't understand.
I don't 'speak' neurotypical.
I waited for him to be after three, when he said he could cover. His only reason he couldn't was to go see his kids in a play at school.
He came up with another excuse.
It was too late to ask others, I tried.
He came in while I was bundled up in blankets and said he had bought an energy drink for me, it would help me feel better. He felt sorry, but he had to go.
As it was time to wake up the patient...three hours later...they didn't want to breathe. This is normal, a huge part of anesthesia is getting someone to breathe after the surgery is over. Usually it comes fast. Sometimes it can take twenty minutes.
The pain and agony was too much for me, of being in the O.R. for all this extra time for emergence when I was so sick.
I started with the Our Fathers. Under my breath. Just over and over.
I kept up with the Hail Marys.
I beseeched Creator above for this patient to wake up so I could rest!
I also told first call and RN running the board I was too sick to do another case. They had one scheduled. I saw on the board. They put it there without mentioning it to me. She knew I was sick.
Once I extubated, I said Glory Be's and I also said the one we used to say after meals.
Then I went to the car.
I was too sick and too exhausted to drive. I have a pillow, a sleeping bag, and a blanket, in the trunk at all times for occasions like this. I chose the pillow and blanket. I slept in the back seat, passed out really.
At one a.m.--four hours later--I woke up. I drank the energy drink and made it home.
I've been in and out of bed ever since. Thick green phlegm is coughing up.
I've requested tomorrow off but I don't know if I will receive it. I just did.
To be a healer we must start with ourselves.
We must heal ourselves of everything we don't need to take with us into the next step.
Even though I am 'down', inside, something new is regenerating. I can sense it.
And I wait.
What did I do?
Yesterday I had three things I accomplished.
I found some links to videos that will springboard off the Weinstein stuff, and yet, not quite make the full connection to ritual abuse--so that if you are the type who likes to share things that are, um, 'easier to accept' with your people you are helping to awaken, these are good. They just 'tweak' the mainstream mind-set 'enough'...:
- Dirty Secrets Hollywood Tries to Hide
- Documentary 'An Open Secret'--about Pedophilia in Hollywood. Tales of five survivors
- Body Language evaluation on Harvey Weinstein
I also answered the questions of a coworker Stephanie who is newly awake. I haven't been in this position before, I hope I did okay. I'll be available to her as new questions arise.
I helped my sister, and my mom. My mom's health isn't so good right now. She stayed with her for the night. Today they are taking her to the ER for further evaluation.
What kinds of things are ahead, as I walk through the door as a healer?
The kinds of things I did, and more, are Healer's work.
So is being open to getting to know yourself. I realize that my work has crossed the line to abusive. I can't call in sick. I work sick. And that's not good. Do I apply somewhere else? What do I do? I'm not sure. But I am open to guidance, and perhaps, talking with my mentor about my options. Anesthesia everyone pretty much is like I have it now.
Slowly, I'm working on my self-love.
With my Asperger's, I've finished a book. She says that expecting me to understand and correctly interpret a 'Queen Bees and Wanna Be's ' social situation is the same as expecting a deaf person to tell you what instrument soloed in the orchestra and to remember the tune. She also recommends reading Queen Bees and Wanna Be's so you will know what is 'out there' and not to entangle up in it.
My Asperger's hurts me at work because everything I want to do depends on favors. I either go in and do my schedule, every day, or I establish a support system within my peers and we do 'favors' to help one another. My friend did a HUGE favor and brought Anthony's back pack to him because he had forgotten it in the car. I worked late, and she went home early. But it's hard, really hard, especially on Friday nights when you are sick and everyone wants to be with their families.
Can I love myself even though I get taken advantage of, due to my inability to 'read' social situations correctly?
Yes.
Creator loves me.
Ross loves me too.
Can I love myself and my sisters through mom's illness, and my inability to go help more because of my work and my illness this weekend? YES. I'm opening up more, and sharing that I'm concerned and don't want to go through what's next with mom alone. And I'm helping as best as I can. My family sent me photos of wounds and things. And I eyeballed them--'telemedicine'--as well as told them what to say to the ER docs. (mom might need Palliative care soon...that's 'what's next').
If you are newly awakening, or, perhaps, 'not so newly awakening'....this is step one for Life in the Higher Realms:
To specify, there is a 'form' of 'self-love' that when you examine it for what it is, it really isn't. It's the old 3D way of 'looking out for number one'. THAT is driven by fear (remember the old False Evidence Appearing Real?). It is rooted in a belief in LACK.
In the higher realms there is no 'me versus you'.
It doesn't exist.
We all win.
What's fair, in loving yourself, the real way?
Saying no when you feel like you are obligated into something that you really don't want to do. A healthy boundary is okay.
Understanding your limits is important.
Asking for help when you need it is okay.
So is admitting to your mistakes, accepting responsibility for your part in miscommunication, and failing at something even when you tried your best.
Loving yourself means that you like yourself...you value your self-worth...you would never exploit it...and you don't force yourself to be with people who are low vibration and draining of your energy.
You are in these situations, 'Friendly and Polite' and that's enough. You may then go on your way.
There's a beautiful Universe out there waiting to be explored!
Even here, in 3D, in our classes for emergency life saving, (ACLS, BLS, PALS), if there is something that will put YOUR life in danger, you don't have to help. For example, someone electrocuted by a downed wire. If you die too you can't save anyone else--and all the rules of instruction say to hold back in situations like this.
There are experts to take care of the very low vibration people. Say a prayer and let them go.
Stay within your own 'bandwidth', and those who understand and can 'get' what you have to offer will naturally be drawn to you.
You ARE different.
My friend Kevin Weeks passed, but I didn't know it. I was in medical school at my desk in 1992. Some soul came to me. I was a little scared of it, to be honest. But it had a message for me. He said, 'You stick out like a SORE THUMB down there!'
I didn't know what to say, but I thanked the spirit.
Then I found out Kevin had died. He was the soul. I didn't know he was sick. He died of AIDS.
I went to his funeral.
His favorite song played, 'Send in the Clowns'...it's beautiful and I always think of him. I went to his wake at his house. It must have been a long illness because his partner was not that sad...I guess life goes on.
All of you who are awake and read these words, even the newly awakened, stick out like sore thumbs too.
As we ascend, together, regular people are going to see it. And respond. And seek you out.
So, what can you DO to help? What were you sent here to do? In your pre-birth contract?
This:
There is a LOT of angelic healing in a smile.
It's contagious.
There are two kinds of smiles.
There are two kinds of GENUINE smiles--I know you were thinking fake ones and real ones, but truly, fake ones aren't a smile. Not even close!
There's the easy ones, and the hard ones.
The easy ones are like, 'BOOM!' super spontaneous.
The hard ones are like I do in the hospital.
When the patient is as yellow as a crayon due to jaundice, and you say hello. It's not easy to look past the yellow, and into the soul of the patient, but you do, and then the smile is easier. And it's real. The smile of acceptance and warmth is important medicine to this person who is so sick.
There is the smile to the patient who has a cancer so bad, you know the whole arm you are shaking hands with is going to be gone at the end of the surgery. And you smile to let them know you care for them, and hope for the best outcome, even though the disease is so advanced it has come to this. Your smile lets them know there is still hope...in every situation.
We can extend that to the smile for the person who has been involved in one of the many recent tragedies on Earth--the hurricanes, the shootings, the fires--it's like a soul-to-soul support without language...
Smiling is what many of us have been sent to do.
If you find yourself in a crisis situation, first take your own pulse. Ask God what to do. And smile to everyone you meet once you have done what you have been guided to do. Keep your heart open, stay grounded, balanced, and help. Others will be looking to you for example. Smile. You know Creator of All That Is is real. Some may not know this yet. They will only get to know Divine Creator through your knowing Creator. It will shine through your smile.
On the other side of that tunnel is a world of joy. A world where angels are normal, and love reigns supreme.
I call it Home.
There is a story about people staying up late and waiting for a party.
Some people fell asleep.
The wise ones kept their oil, lit their lamps, and got to go in to the wedding.
Others didn't get in.
You could hear them.
I don't know about this story, how it applies, or if it ever did.
I will be sure to ask Ross his opinion on it.
I know him, he's a 'the more the merrier' kind of guy.
I also know vibration is vibration, and without working up to handle a vibration, some people can't handle it.
Someone who learned Galactic Reiki through a fellow-dear very dear sister and friend--kind of had a big JUMP to make energy wise. None of us expected it.
So, I will keep quiet for now, and kick this one point 'upstairs' to my guides.
Besides, Ross has been waiting all day to show you his picture he picked out.
Ross
How about that new Saul message?
How about that message from The Council on Friday the Thirteenth, Carla's lucky day?
How about that feeling in your heart that things are going to improve, no matter what the mainstream media is saying?
Huh?
(he's smiling really big--ed)
GOOD THINGS ARE HAPPENING!
They just aren't going to talk about it. (in the news--ed)
C: he asks me to tell you about Jason and his new wife, who just went to Haiti to help people on a mission. I couldn't tell whose smiles were bigger--the glowing newlyweds -- or the kids and people they helped.
R: It was a total Win-Win, right?
C: Oh yes!
R: I rest my case.
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Twins
