Yesterday we were there when my uncle Farris was put to rest. I had someone cover for me at work so I could attend. I actually had to drive to work three times yesterday. I drove in early morning for a Department of Surgery meeting. I must attend to keep my 'active staff' status. Then I drove home after filling up the tank and getting the car washed. This is Southern California, and how your car appears makes an important statement about your mental health and prosperity. Since I was representing mom to the family, because she couldn't attend, I had to make 'mom standards'.
I picked Anthony up from school (driving home) and drove us to the cemetery, which is about the same distance from work as my home but on the completely other side of it. I drove Anthony back to school, and came in for work--making it drive number three.
It was a long day.
I was glad I went though. There's money issues in the family. One of the cousins was more heart-centered, and even when the deceased and his two brothers cut themselves off from the family over my grandmother and grandfather's will (they passed the inheritance to living children, as they had thought my dad would die early and cut our family out of the will, but instead his second oldest sister--their wife and mom--predeceased my grandmother)...this one didn't.
There was also allegations that two of my female cousins that the deceased had been inappropriate with them. So these members of the family were notably absent.
Remember yesterday how I wrote of doing without?
I think I was being empathic.
The family, at the funeral, was talking about the 'frugality' of the deceased during the ceremony. The pastor, a Baptist one, rephrased it as 'resource conservation'...the children were frustrated that they had been forced to go without. I remember the plain wrap, store brand toothpaste in the bathroom. The family was no frills.
Yet they were millionaires, many times over. He was a smart investor, invested in real estate, and taught the children how to do it.
That's when I made the connection and had the flash of compassion.
He was born in 1928, September, in Oklahoma.
He arrived right before the huge stock market crash.
His formative years were in the Dust Bowl, where those horrible photos of the farmers unable to grow food and starving were taken.
No wonder.
I know people who have grown up in the Great Depression. They are different. And apparently, it had influenced my uncle so much he even told the family to walk with their legs at the edges of the carpet in the long hallway so as not to wear down a path in the middle, and get more use out of it.
I knew that the grave he was being buried in was a used one. My aunt had gotten a bargain on it years ago, and bragged about their savings.
It worked.
Yet he was a loving man, who enjoyed raising his family, and all he wanted at the end was one last Christmas with everyone.
His granddaughter Cadence, so very sweet, wanted to speak but was too shy. So her mother held her in her arms at the podium, and Cadence whispered into her ear, and her mom spoke the words.
Grandpa, I loved you. I wish you didn't die.
She was the third speaker when they asked for volunteers.
The first was a school teacher friend, now retired, who went camping with them once. A bear had broken into the family's nice Mercedes Benz and was rummaging around in the back seat to get food. Angry, Uncle Farris had thrown cans of propane at it. But it didn't work. And then the bear turned and faced the family. They had no weapons. But everything turned out okay.
I was the second speaker.
I spoke of their old home, and the huge fireplace with curtains of metal chain on two sides of it. It was my favorite place in the home, to sit near it, get warm, and watch Uncle Farris tend the fire.
One day, we were there for New Years. And Uncle Farris took the entire Christmas tree, and was going to burn it! Just put it into the fire, top first.
As he was doing it, I watched, and asked him, Uncle Farris, are you sure this is okay?
Yes, it was okay.
And I saw the biggest fire I've ever seen in that fireplace, as he expertly pushed in the tree to contain the burning part inside the fireplace, and then eventually the whole thing was gone!
We moved to a new house. I enjoy the fireplace and use all the techniques I saw him do.
And with our Christmas tree?
Anthony cut off all the branches with a lopper. We are saving them. We are going to burn them as kindling too!
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I didn't think anything of it. My one cousin smiled, and many laughed, but others were stone faced as they listened. Anthony said I had made everyone laugh, but I didn't remember much as I was just talking.
But when I went to sit down, I saw Ross. His face was very close to mine. I've never seen him happier! I don't know why. I have absolutely no clue, it was just a story, from my heart, spoken about something that made a huge impression on me as a little girl.
He was even happier than when they were all watching as Divine Mother taught me how to make bracelets. I remember Ashtar and others pulling up folding chairs and sitting in a circle and watched. Divine Mother and I joked around how they must not have anything better to do.
Ross was happy. It makes me happy when he's happy like that. That's why I asked him if I should share and he said yes.
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My surgeon was an orthopedic one yesterday. I asked him to look at my foot. My achilles is connected. I have tibial tendonitis. It will take four to six weeks to heal. He recommended a brace and anti-inflammatory.
It's a perk of the job, being near smart people like that.
For the first time I realized I had earned the right to ask for help from my peers.
It was a big day.
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I love you. Ross does too.
aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Happiest Twins on Earth (and in Heaven)
