We are at the point where some of us are 'Ascended' but others are 'still working on it'.
Our teams have successfully completed their projects -- our 'friends in the rafters'.
But everything has to play out.
There was a saying in the seventies, 'Keep On Trucking'...and a similar one, 'Keep On Keeping On'.
So that's what you do.
You roll along with your lessons.
You watch YOUR reaction--because it's the only thing you are able to control in anything anyway, right?
And you make it a practice to LOVE everyone you meet, no matter how difficult and challenging the circumstances may be...
This is where I am at in my life.
Obedience.
And awareness.
I just came off one of the worst call weekends I have ever had in my life. I had to work pre-call. Didn't get home until late. I had to work on call. And the funny thing is, I finished in the afternoon, I went to see my mom. I haven't seen her in months--she even had been in the hospital--but I couldn't get free from my work schedule.
So my sister and niece stopped by. I also met the new neighbor.
But I wanted to rest, at HOME.
So I drove from mom's past my work (it's in the middle) all the way to my home.
And I felt in a funk like you wouldn't believe. Just couldn't relax. I had on my pajamas and I read.
Then the phone called. One case. Eight thirty p.m.
I was damned to spend the night near the hospital. I don't have a call room. Fortunately there was a room for me at a nearby hotel after the case. This isn't always true on Saturdays.
I was grateful for the bed, because if they called again, it was a short drive.
They didn't call.
I had breakfast that was free. Waffles.
Then...I waited...I waited until checkout just in case they would call. But, not wanting to BE called, I didn't let anyone know my availability.
Then I went home.
Just like the night before, I was in a funk, I couldn't really accomplish much, and precisely two hours later, I was called in--RIGHT at the time I told first call not to call in back-up. Fortunately Anthony's dad was keeping him late.
I worked three hours on three cases which normally would take about twenty minutes a case.
It was awful!
The only thing that kept me going was the thought: spirit needs me, I must be here now, I must practice loving intention and interaction with everyone I meet.
When I get stressed I don't want to eat.
Ross had told me to buy a hamburger on the way home from the hotel. But I didn't like any of them in my area. So I ate chocolate. That was my lunch. Three pieces of tiny chocolate.
I bought a burger on the way home the second time. I'm glad I did.
BTW a neighbor texted me and asked to use my spot to park last night. I said yes. The other neighbors who 'took the liberty' and I 'took it back' were confused. I don't see how asking for permission, once in a while (this is first time for the other neighbor) can be confusing...again...I must be mindful I need to show love in everything I do.
I'm learning I need to show this to myself. Like to eat. Or to set boundaries.
And my work, much as I love medicine, is toxic.
Especially to me, who thrives on routines.
It's so bad that three of us are working post-call today. OB, First Call and Back Up. I had traded with OB so that I could have the day off and renew my ACLS (Advanced Cardiac Life Support). I booked a class and now I have to reschedule. I'm not panicking because I know I can extend the deadline, my friend is chief of staff and I asked.
As long as I have something planned I'm going to be okay.
Each morning as I awaken, Ross keeps asking me, 'what is your joy?'
I don't know. I'm getting to the level of stress where I am turning a little numb.
I asked Ross for help. He said, 'keep giving away your overnight calls and see what happens'.
It's a first step.
I haven't had time to work on my bracelets for longer than I care to admit. The mess in my home--stuff everywhere--is so bad that I have to constantly nag Anthony to pick up after himself. He doesn't care, he just ignores it. I ask him to take up my laundry because it's heavy. It sits for three weeks. I did it myself yesterday.
I need order, home-cooked meals, and joy.
I have chaos, takeout, and a 'work family' who is pleasant but not my 'friends and family'.
I struggle.
I also am coming to terms with what I learned about cannibalism from the latest The Black Child video, the one about the girl who sadly dies in a freezer. I didn't expect it. With all the disclosure of the ways of evil, this one is the most evil of all...they grow 'human cows' for meat and have a whole market on it. Some people are nice to their cows and they never know they are being grown for food. Others torture them to 'adrenaline' the meat. In Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart, it is considered a delicacy. You can get adult, child, or baby meat. Often they lure immigrants or refugees with promises of 'hills of money' and 'opportunity' in the west. How they kill is during a medical exam--from behind and slit the throat.
It's so sad...
I pray with all my heart for Ascension to complete itself enough...that things improve...and that I have the courage to change the things I can...and to focus on the good and on being loving to everyone I meet.
Ross
We provide the Light.
Our plan--is a secret--and as far as we are concerned there is 'no one coming to save you'.
Let us talk about the plants.
The field has been planted with crops.
WE--our teams--are the sunlight which makes them grow.
YOU--are the tenders to the garden, bringing life-giving water, and also, tending the weeds and pulling them out.
Growing things takes time! That is how it is with Ascension of a planet and her beings upon her.
But our 'season' is of adjustable length of time.
The more you focus on your Awareness, and your heart, just like Carla in that she--like an amoeba--is always stretching and growing with her Consciousness, self-examining and getting to know her world--the faster it will be.
Don't just be a lump of dirt, watching and waiting for someone to take care of you.
There are plenty of lumps in the field!
I need workers!
People who know what they are and how to do what they were sent here to do.
There's only one way to know that. (he touches his heart--ed)
Feel.
Reach for the sun!
Grow.
Learn.
Permit yourself to make mistakes--sometimes that's the fastest way of learning--for example a toddler learning to walk.
And LOVE.
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Family
