Yesterday was a blessed day.
My lungs opened up. I can get air.
I also was home to take care of Anthony, who has the flu. I must have had it too.
There is great joy in the little things, in being able to order his favorite takeout and pick it up, in being able to advise him to lie in the sun for five minutes on each side, to allow the UV light to help kill some of the infection. I joined him too, on my own separate blanket. It felt wonderful! I also had aired out the house, as we had been on the air conditioning a long time.
Even making dinner, was a joy.
My life, like everyone else's, has it's balance of ups and downs.
But yesterday was different in that I was profoundly aware of the joys, and how significant they are, as well as how transient the sorrows can be.
Anthony, by the same token, really felt a difference when he lay on the blanket on the grass in the sun.
How could he not? He was grounding...
I can attribute this joy to a shift that began when, while meditating, Ross took me by the arm to someplace I've never been. It was his sleeping quarters. This wasn't our home, that I remember. He's on a different vessel. I saw a bunk in a wall, not very large, like on a ship. Everything was cream off-white color. He helped me climb in, and he followed me up.
It was his 'designated rest time'. I've never seen that before. And he put his arms around me, my back to his chest, and we slept.
But there was this glowing warmth in my chest, and something was being filled that had been empty.
He also came to me later yesterday (the nap was two days ago), and as a couple we used to send healing out with this funny green ray that comes off my arm. My right arm. Ross used to aim it.
This time I saw his light. It's a dark navy blue, and it goes out like a starburst, not a straight line like me. It doesn't glow like mine either. The edges of the light are very fine and sharp, but the light doesn't hurt.
We sent this out as our Reiki healing yesterday. I hope it makes a difference!
Temple Grandin is the name of the woman with autism/Asperger's who influenced me so much in the videos over the weekend. Because of her and a video quiz(link is here to quiz)...I realized what I had always suspected as true IS true. And when I told my mom I can't 'read' expressions on faces, it's like, I have to learn them--and I can 'get' scared, happy, angry after these years but more complex ones, no--she said, 'you are like your father'. He skipped two grades, but never knew when to stop talking if someone else got bored.
I know when to stop. Thanks to the socialization of my friends on the street where I grew up.
I'm reading the book Aspergirls. Wow. It really brings out some painful truths. Like when I would blurt out something obvious to me, something not funny, but everyone would laugh as if I had made a joke, so I would adapt and pretend I had intended it to be a joke, but I hadn't. I'm not the only one who arranged my crayons by color. I too have my 'stims' but they are very very subtle and hardly noticeable. In childhood I would spin the sugar bowl and drive my grandmother crazy. I couldn't describe it but it just made everything better...
I am grateful for this self-discovery, and support.
I don't think I could do this work, day in, day out, without the focus that being on the spectrum gives me.
And the dedication.
I trust that all is as it should be, in the right place, at the right time...
I cannot emphasize the importance of making lists as the energies and surrounding vibration increase. I've felt like my life 'flow' is in molasses. When I came home from my travels, I was like, 'I need to do this, this, this and this'. I've been home for over a week. And I've just barely gotten things done. More than half on the list. I used to be able to make progress on a to-do list very fast. But molasses notwithstanding, everything on that list now IS done! Well, ninety percent of it.
Yesterday Ross told me to just 'do the absolute minimum' and I'm glad I did. I feel stronger and healthier today.
So give yourself a break. Write lists so you won't forget, and also, it helps to manifest your being able to complete them. It might not be on the same time frame you are used to, but with the energies as they are, it will help you not to lose track which is otherwise easy to do.
I'm also a little excited. It's hard to explain, but I sense changes for me, in a nice way, with my career. I feel things starting to 'move' a little, and I'm happy they are 'moving'. I feel a better life for me is ahead, one of teaching, creativity, by the ocean, and I can get normal hours. My court case just moved to January or later after I --ironically--read a fortune cookie fortune that said, 'you have passed a difficult test and you will have much happiness'. Like, three minutes after BOOM! came the email from the lawyer.
I even got a new spread, with new cards. I did a reading for myself with the Steven Farmer cards. It explained well where I am, where I have been, where I am headed, how I am going to get there, and what my next lesson is. Spirit gave me the layout too. One day I will make this available to my readers. Not sure when but it's hopefully soon.
Yesterday, I learned how to sell on eBay. Anthony had some old video games he was going to trade in when he bought his new Xbox. I told him that they offer not much money, and why not try eBay? We both learned how to do it. Out of four videos, three are sold and one is going to sell by auction. We also listed his old basketball shoes. I'm taking a hit on the shipping for him, and giving him all he earns. He's absolutely thrilled! I gave him twenty dollars cash and I think this is a nice way for him to be outside the structure of school and develop a new interest. It's also applicable to the real world.
Once I get better I will put other things up on there too. From my work.
The joy is here in my heart. It's of freedom. Not sure how to explain it. But the heaviness I always felt is dissipating. Both in the energetic and the physical.
One last thing. This year I am going to decline the flu shot. Why? I have natural immunity. I just got over it. I don't need to get the shot because natural immunity is the gold standard! I will need to wear a mask at all times in the hospital (except eating) from November 1 to March 1. The masks stink and make my face warm, but since I wear them in the O.R. I will wear them outside too. I don't know what to say, but I have this feeling the quadrivalent one our hospital just upgraded to is going to kill me. So I can't take it. And I won't. I'm okay with this decision.
Ross is deferring for now, as I have to get ready for work. Anthony must go to his dad's, and it adds to my commute. I want him to stay home from school one more day.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Couple