Tuesday, August 29, 2017

The CT Scanner

My yesterday waking hours were spent on this.

It began with calling my insurance to obtain 'pre certification' so I could go. They needed both a diagnosis code from my doctor, and a procedure code from the facility that was going to do the scan.

My doctor knew the facility needed labs and the order.

The order was made into my hospital system.

My doctor's office was on three-way call with my insurance and me to get things straightened out.

My insurance outsources the approval process for radiological studies.

So, my doctor's office (and my doctor herself!) spoke to the outsource approvers who approved for the study.

The whole time, I kept telling the insurance person, 'I am in PAIN! doesn't that make any difference?'

Basically, it doesn't.

I also mentioned to her about the contracts. She hadn't heard about them until late last week.

My insurance's outsourced approvers sent me to a neighbor hospital--the almost county one.

I arrived, the lady was nice on the phone, they fit me in for three fifteen. Don't eat lunch and show up at two to drink the contrast.

But she didn't have the labs. They couldn't do it without the labs. They needed them printed up.

I offered to walk to my primary care doctor's office in the building next door.

I called my doctor's office, leaving messages. Then I got a real person. They had to look under my duplicate medical file because someone created a second chart on me to find them. I had to explain it. They faxed them.

But then the order was for 'pelvis'.

Nobody ever looks at just the pelvis in a CT scan. Ever. It's doesn't make sense.

It's always, always, always, abdomen-pelvis with and without contrast.

I called and the approval was only for pelvis form the outsource people. I told the receptionist I would pay for it, don't worry, just order it.

It came through. Just at the last minute.  Here I was with contrast in my belly and they are fighting for the money, everyone, over what medical care is 'covered'.

I have a huge sky high deductible! And my coinsurance rate was fifty percent. I had to pay too before the study. Two hundred fifty something dollars. I will pay the other part too, due to my deductible, but later.

So I go back, the facility is new, it's clean, it's nice, and I have the German tech. She makes a big to do over my vein and i.v. Is it in, will it flush, can you draw back blood, is there pain?

I had to hold my left arm up while they injected the contrast.

It was crazy.

I still don't know the results, and I made over fifty phone calls yesterday coordinating everything. I don't know how my doctor's office can make money at all with all this busy work to get a study.

It wasn't like that thirty years ago. Not even twenty years ago. How much cost does this add to healthcare? The middlemen, the miscommunications, and the complexity?

My pain is very dull, very low, and not troublesome. It's still in the lower left hand side of my abdomen. I think it's an adhesion, which won't show up on CT.

The funniest thing happened though. I sent the Reiki from the waiting room. And the Divine Peace Healing too. But when I went into the bore of the scanner, Ross asked me to do something. He had me touch my ring to the scanner, and say the words, 'I heal you'.

I'm not sure why.

But I did and I hope it works.

A similar story from the past with Nellie Bly...I hope I let you know what's going on in medicine these days. No wonder why most people would rather smoke cannabis and avoid the whole nightmare altogether!  I'm a trained medical professional. I'm not sure how others manage in these situations, with the runaround, especially from the insurance. I can always play the attending anesthesiologist card. I know the business. I feel so bad for the elderly and frail who are most vulnerable to this...

This was the floral display I sent to France.

It cost a lot.

The flowers gave great comfort to the grieving family, and deeply touched their hearts. They said the flowers were fresh and wonderful just as Jeannine was in life.

Ross told me to 'go big' and I did.

Some lessons in life are so difficult.

This one isn't easy to share.

Yesterday Anthony wanted my phone. I wasn't sure why.

He went to my app that reverses music and things you record.

When we had been on the ride, The Haunted Mansion last time, the ride was stopped. When mobility-impaired people transfer from their motorized chairs, they have to slow the ride. We were in the seance room with Madame Leota.

I took out my phone and recorded her, just in case.

We were both surprised to hear her, clear as day, at the tambourines part, in reverse, call in the spirits of the devil. (I just uploaded it to Bitchute, channel is 77picklehead. It's still processing)

A chill came over the room. We both knew what happens to people who tell this stuff.

You hear it best at about 50% speed.

Anyhow, he got spooked. Sometimes he gets the bad thoughts. He had them really bad in 2014. He was suicidal. That's right, my sweet boy, at nine, was deeply troubled.

This time I had to sit him down and tell him the truth.

There was a time when he was very little that he was saying inappropriate sexual things at the dinner table at his dad's house, who was living with his grandparents. It was so shocking that they dropped their forks and stared at the child. They asked him who taught him these things?

He said my father.

It was reported to child protective services. It was horrible to listen to the caseworker interview my baby. It broke my heart to pieces. It almost broke up my family. They defended my dad to the end.

The social worker told me whatever it was, it was caught early. A child needs to have a relationship with their grandparents, it's healthy, just never let those two be alone. EVER. And since my father was terminally ill, they wouldn't take further action.

I gently let Anthony know he was totally innocent, a baby, and didn't have words or even concepts to understand what happened. And that my father, was sick, and as much as he could love and appreciate Anthony, he did, but there was a huge huge huge problem, and I'm deeply sorry that Anthony got hurt in any way, EVER.

There was more, but it's private, and between us.

The basic point is that it's very understandable to have crazy thoughts, because they go way back, and there's reason for it. It's not imagination or his brain making it up. I told him how his father and I worked together like a team for his safety. And didn't he notice how I never, ever let him be alone with my dad? I always followed them around.

His memories that trouble him are in this house, at night, downstairs. That's where my father used to watch lots of TV.

I told Anthony that if he needs my company going downstairs at night, I'm fine with it, forever.

And that sometimes, thoughts of hurting ourselves is anger turned IN. Sometimes it's healthier to identify the source of the anger, and direct it OUT.

He said he doesn't get 'angry', at anything, he just 'goes weak'...and he doesn't like it.

I've never heard a better description of how someone being molested just gives up because they are overpowered and can't fight off the attack. I know it well. It happened to me at four, and I thought I was going to die.

I shared one other thing with Anthony to help him. A reader had described her daughter had been molested, and asked for a healing, when I was in Tucson. At the gift shop, I found the ballerina bear keychains. I remembered! When I first remembered my abuse, at twenty-six, I felt dirty. I found a ballerina bear, tiny, and I named it 'Carla'. She was my innocence I had lost. I carried her with me as I grieved and healed. Once I forgot her at work on the weekend and we had to drive back so I could get it!

I had bought two bear keychains, one for me, one for the girl. But instead, I gave the one for the girl to Anthony. So he wouldn't feel dirty, and he knew he had a right to his innocence, it was and always shall be his, no matter what.

I kept him home today. I have the day off, and didn't want him to get a sunburn at the school activity. It's costing me seventy dollars to keep him home.

It's worth it.

We have KAPA radio on (Hawaiian music) and had nice breakfast. Zucchini bread, a little bacon, fruit salad, and scrambled eggs. And coffee. I set the table for Ross too, so he could join us.

Ross danced with me as I cleared the table. He had me write down the song. Let's see if it's on YouTube:

I hope you enjoy it.

Time to go finish the breakfast dishes and get to work on bracelets! Today is my kind of day!


I want to talk to you a minute.

There was a moment where Anthony asked Carla, 'How come I agreed to this?' implying that before he was born, he consented to the abuse he endured at the hands of Carla's father, who is his namesake, nonetheless.  (Anthony is Anthony Richard, after my father, Richard).

There was a hologram at that moment.

It looked and felt precisely like that of Walt Disney. Both of the two perceived it.

Carla instructed Anthony what we do with all spirits who are unkind and unloving in their heart when we are incarnate on the Earth Plane--in Carla's words, honey, please go ahead and write them, it's okay for our audience so they will understand, 'we tell them to fuck off and go away' (an alternative it, 'to go fuck themselves and get OUT of here!')...isn't that right honey? Weren't those your words you always use when you yourself are in that powerful situation?


And what happened honey? To you and Anthony?

(immediately the air cleared--ed)


(because we have Free Will and things that are not incarnate who visit us here have to obey our commands--ed)

(Ross gets a funny smile, like he is showing us two plus two, and he's waiting for us to make the connection--he's looking all over the room and making eye contact while the wheels in our minds turn and we figure his point out--ed)

Clap! clap!

One last thing. Anthony was startled to learn of the hologram and that it was a lesson.

Carla what did you say to him? In order to explain it?

(how do you build up muscles? you work against resistance. That's how they get strong. --ed)

(Ross clears his throat--ed)

There you hear it! You heard it first! Here (pats his desk, thump thump thump--ed) Right at our work, Doctors With Reiki.

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
The Twins