One day, two years ago, an advanced practice nurse I know stopped me in the hall. It's funny because we had even done a video together for the hospital, but until she asked me in the hall, I never realized something important.
She asked me what high school I went to?
We went to the same one. And she was someone I barely recognized now, and I'm sure it's probably the same thing for me.
We both grew up in the area, about thirty minutes away from the hospital where we both worked. She's a very serious nurse with lots of responsibility for cardiac patients. She hardly ever has any free time. We have always been friendly.
Until a few days ago.
We were passing in the stairs, and another high-ranking nurse director saw us. She was surprised and asked, 'do you know each other?'
We were like absolutely! I told the director that Michelle was a cheerleader and I was a Kidette (drill team, pom pom girl). We go way back!
Carol was stunned. And she said, 'I will never be able to look at you two in the same way again!'.
After she left, at that moment, Michelle and I were just like in high school, and we talked without having to hold anything back.
I can't lose the weight. No matter how I try. If I get rid of the carbs I do but when I go back to eating again it all comes back. (I know, me too!)
Are you planning a way out of medicine? (yes for both. We are both feeling it being fifty five now, in the medical field, you get lots of stress and lack of sleep. It's hard.)
We are both single. Horrible, disastrous marriages and divorces.
It was pure joy to cut the 'professional' masks, and just BE For that brief moment, we were kids again, and able to offer support from our life experiences, to be real...and to laugh over the pain.
Somehow we didn't end up with the white picket fence and two point five kids and the long-lasting marriage we had thought everyone got. She never had kids. She had miscarriages. I told her about my anticardiolipin antibody the fertility doc we were seeing for my husband screened me for and found I had. My boy is a miracle. Literally.
Eventually we had to go, but I'm so glad she's really a friend, so much more than a work friend or a FB friend/coworker.
I hope everyone gets to have a conversation like that with someone unexpectedly in their day, too.
Michelle is tough as nails, a super skilled nurse, can handle the sickest of patients, with ease. In every way I'm proud to know her.
Yesterday I worked with a good one. The very best. Good reputation, many years in practice, almost never complications.
It used to bother me that the start time was thirty minutes earlier. I understand now. He needs to keep up his energy, and his is best in the morning. He exercises at the gym at three a.m. every day.
We talked about how another female anesthesiologist talked for two hours about some Dyson hair appliance, how you don't need to go spend one hundred fifty dollars at the hair salon to get ready for parties. Two hours. And how he ended up buying one for his wife, and all of the attachments, just in case he forgot one and she needed it and would be disappointed.
It tickled me to hear it.
I told him, 'there's no way I could talk about anything like that for two hours!' and cracked up.
I play music, and I ask questions pertinent to the case, either for my learning of for preparation and patient care. Otherwise I just go with the flow of the conversation in the room.
I did mention the Epoch times, though. When they were asking about news without bias. They asked how I knew it's without bias? I said that it's like the Christian Science Monitor, the only news in the world that's neutral. And the 'bias' of the Epoch times is to free the persecution--to halt it--of the Falun Gong back home in China. It's not owned by any of the major news companies. You get one paper edition a week and electronic ones every day. It started in China under the censorship. And even now their offices are being blown up. Someone is trying very hard to stop the Epoch times, so they must be doing something right. (All social media will give you a community violation if you even mention it or post anything on a platform--Twitter, FB, YouTube--just a word to the wise.
It was a good day, all the patients did well. I worked very hard, and barely had time to eat, and came home late. I felt I presented my best self, consistently, to my patients and colleagues and surgeons.
My last surgeon, who doesn't even take call, is getting tired. He shared it. The patient had a problem and it's one radiologists sometimes help/intervene. But their workup was really slow and the intervention pushed to tomorrow. The patient was very sick. Had to go now. This is a very important thing I am communicating to you here. Let me explain...
The Operating Room is an unnatural environment. Most things that happen there that are bad are reversible. People can be moribund and turn around quickly with prompt surgical and anesthesia care.
Our Operating Room is short-staffed. It's not a popular place for new people to want to work because it's long hours and holidays. It's an essential service, like an Emergency room.
Care is being diluted with the 'business' of medicine, and hospital administrators and insurance keeping an eye on the dollar. Gradually, we have transformed to an almost machine-like, robotic workflow which is draconian and every step of the way is the shadow of possible malpractice lawsuits.
People want to work where they have nights and weekends and holidays home with their families, and with enough work-life balance to go to the gym at a decent hour on a regular basis.
I've come to the realization I just have to accept my being overweight, and Anthony's. We have been in survival mode for a long time, and can barely visit the doctor. There's not time. This work style/career affects everyone, everyone in the family. I can't help my mom in her old age. I can't help take the burden off my sister who lives closer.
The ability to diagnose and treat someone who has a potentially lethal condition, which can be fixed with a simple procedure--is a dying art.
I heard that at Kaiser, their payment is different, how they get paid. There's no rush because everyone is salary. There's nurse anesthetists to sit in the O.R. so the attending anesthesiologists 'don't really work'. They can take their time to get the arterial line in (I had to abort mine after five minutes due to the production pressure--it didn't go in, so I had to do the case without it.). For us, time is money and more cases is more money.
What I am pointing out to you is a crack in the system, and it's my professional opinion it's going to grow. Be careful for yourself and your loved ones. If the radiologist says to do something tomorrow, and your loved one is like last night's patient, speak up! Demand care from a surgeon. The patient would have died overnight from sepsis. The radiologist is business as usual, and didn't even consider that possibility. They just have their staffing and their schedule and their protocol, you see?
That is enough said for now.
Time to make a little breakfast.
Ross is smiling and warm and happy. He asks, 'do you like the circus?' (referring to the media). He reminds us that both sides of any issue are owned by the same news outlets/corporations. Just like in war when both factions behind it --both sides--are in collusion to reduce the population and to make money from the war machine. He encourages you to be smart, and to keep focusing on things like with Michelle--being real, being open, and above all, having compassion for those who are brainwashed by the corporate media and their controllers. That's how they control you. Unplug, unplug, unplug, get in nature, spend time doing something you enjoy...that's the way to get through the next part of Ascension....when everyone awakens...and for some it's going to be not a red pill but a suppository. He laughs a polite and kind laugh.
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple
