Yesterday I had a long gap between cases.It was from around eleven until two. Spirit told me to put my lunch in the car, and a reminder from the break room at the surgery center reminded me that I, too, had boxes of fundraiser chocolates from Stephanie E's son in my locker. I went and turned in scrubs, and much to my surprise--at Spirit's request--cleaned out my locker so nothing is in it except a magnet (a locker is like my kitchen/support/medicine cabinet). I walked out from the PACU. Terri the charge nurse and Ellen (one is a Reiki student of mine) asked me if I dropped off the mug with the flowers in it. Nope. They pointed to me the Christmas Santa toy with the foot you press and it dances and sings and they said that if something cute shows up, they think it's from me. (I gave it last year).
As I walked to the door, Maggie saw me.
Maggie lost both her father and her father in law within weeks of each other.
She was smiling, proudly showed me her arm with both her Icicle bracelet and her 'Possibility of Transition' on on, and said, 'I love you!' and gave me the biggest hug ever. It fits perfectly, she so deeply appreciates both the thought and the visible sign of help, as well as the energetic support. And I suppose, that I made it for her with love.
Last I had seen her, she was almost at the end of her rope on call, and shared her grief. I offered a bracelet and she accepted, so I wrote her on the list to make her one.
Cindy, was across the way, tending to her patient, and witnessed the whole thing. Cindy is the one who held it in her locker for Maggie.
Cindy called me over, and she was so moved, she handed me a Starbucks gift card for ten dollars, right from her pocket. Was it a gift for her from someone else? I don't know...but...she assured me the other bracelets I made for her were in her locker. She's not a jewelry person. And when I made one for her, when I made them for all the nurses, Spirit wanted her to have Himalayan river stones, very raw and natural. She had loved it. But she won't wear any at work, because she loses it.
Relationships are a huge part of medicine. We call it bedside manner.
I think the reasons placebos work so much is because of the ability of the patient to believe in their healers, and for the healers to care for their patients.
This is why I haven't left medicine. Because conventional medicine is where most of the population on earth believes that the best healing is available through it for them. It's kind of like the Roman Catholic church in Christendom.
In more ways than one--both have a hidden shadow side too. I've talked about the shadows for so long I grow weary of it. So let us leave that topic to the side, with the meme I saw--better take that red pill now while you can before it becomes a suppository!
We are healers who work side by side and often, together on teams.
We master technology and computer systems, to navigate the most complex social organization in all of history for the benefit of our patients.
This kind of work -- and charting on electronic medical records--isn't always smooth and easy. Sometimes we need to overcome many obstacles to deliver care. I had to walk to the operating room to get a small part for the GI lab, called a D-fend. It collects water from the carbon dioxide sampling line. Our anesthesia tech is out for surgery, the other one doesn't work Mondays, so we have a cleaning person from the hall 'stepping in' to help. She wouldn't know what that part is. But once I came back with four--one for now and three for extra, you can imagine my surprise when it didn't fit! There are different kinds of D-fends, apparently, and no one had thought to order it. I still had an end-tidal CO2 waveform, so it was safe to proceed with the case.
Nobody else in my department would notice or care, or even walk to the anesthesia supply room downstairs and at the end of the hall.
It's just how it is...
Having a patient count on you is one of the best feelings in the world!
The medical community, at its best, is people helping people.
It's the smiles that help so much as the work is hard, and many people you help with your skills and training aren't smiling and try to get you down too.
It's an exercise in mastering your vibration, your own health (take your pulse first!), and your health. At the beginning we are all taught 'patient comes first'. But in time, you realize, 'if there's no you, then you can't help the patient, seriously.' and you take care of your own health too.
My best place I ever worked, the best patients, were when I was a medical student and I went to Carlos Sanchez' pediatrician's office in Chula Vista to practice my medical Spanish. It was a humble place, very austere and nothing fancy. But my heart opened to the people who accepted me to help their children, who gently corrected my Spanish, and trusted me and Dr. Sanchez to help.
I caught a viral conjunctivitis from the most adorable two year old girl--I washed my hands before and after but somehow much have touched my eye without thinking in the exam room. It comes and goes from time to time.
Still it was worth it to learn about this community and serve them. I have no regrets.
Now I would like to leave you with a story, something like Ross back in the day used to do.
I have anatomical narrow angle borderline glaucoma. I used to go to my friend's husband's office--he's an award-winning ophthalmologist who specializes in the anterior chamber of the eye. I hate having them measure my eye pressure, she shares his office and has to come in to hold my hand. It's Dr. Kelly...my close friend who is his wife.
I haven't seen him in two years. My exam hasn't changed, he said it was okay, just to come if I had eye pain or halos.
Well, I worked with Kelly yesterday morning. I told her I'd been having eye pain and halos, I needed to see Brian.
They both were working that day. And her husband comes in a lot when she works just to make conversation (it's humorous because he works on eyes and can't tell what part of the body she is working on it.).
Kelly told him about my eyes.
So I called to make an appointment during my break. They had one opening Tuesday at 9:30 a.m.
I accepted.
I asked ML to cover me. She said no. I asked KH. He said, 'I'll be post call, if you know what I mean, can you ask someone else?'
I asked MM, who said no. I explained to my boss, he said, 'I can't help you, I have knee pain and it's been six weeks to see someone' (I told him I would help him if he needs coverage, EK is helping me on Thursday so Anthony can get his MRI knee)
I saw Brian, who had finished, and explained the situation.
Brian said, 'go now'. He made a phone call.
I had a case to start in thirty minutes! But the surgeon, I explained to him (he was in his office too, running late) the same thing as I told the other anesthesiologist--eye pain in someone with narrow angle is a medical emergency. And HE, unlike the others, said, 'I hope your eye gets better'.
MM said, 'I need to do my Christmas shopping'.
Yes, Four people I told, in medical terms, 'I am at risk of going blind' and they said, 'I can't help you'. But the surgeon, understood, and let me go.
I delayed him fifteen more minutes past two. But I got what I needed. My eye pressure is a little higher than before, but still not emergency. I got a prescription for pilocarpine.
Then another colleague asked ME for a favor.
Would I stay late for them?
I did.
Anthony's basketball practice went until seven. I had time to help, and to get my prescription, and to pick him up.
Four people didn't care if I go blind.
But instead of doing the same to the next one, I helped.
I realize that whoever is running our group, isn't doing it well enough to care for their own. It's like running race horses to the ground and they just drop. Everyone is burnt out, too burnt out to care. It's dog eat dog.
But when I had a chance to say no, I said, 'yes'.
Everything is a choice.
Someone did a favor for me, a huge one. I, now awakened enough, could see my 'squeeze in' put other patients and Brian at a delay. It also changed the workflow of the staff including Trina--who was my optical tech and excellent. Further, it's going to cost me possibly one thousand dollars for that visit. Not sure about the insurance coverage--I owe deductible anyway. But last time I had the scan for the cornea, my insurance denied it. It was that moment in the scanner I realized that insurance companies aren't doctors, and they shouldn't have any right to deny claims when someone with the training of my eye doctor says it's needed. It's not right. And I accepted having to pay, because it's my eyes. I need them. My grandmother had the macular degeneration at the end. I know about her having to go to the Braille school for the blind to learn how to adapt. She was so brave. And grateful they taught her how to crochet even though she couldn't see.
Brian said eye pain can be from strain or overuse or other things. My eye didn't hurt when I woke up. It's a little sore now. And my eye isn't dilating. I haven't gotten a new prescription this year. Perhaps I need that? I don't know.
But help.
Always alway help if you are not lowering your own energy.
Do the right thing.
People are watching, and you want them to see good things.
Ross wants me to share something I don't care to think about, but I love and respect him, I honor him, so I will.
For the bracelet giveaway, I chose to pay FB twenty five dollars to 'boost' the post. We have ten thousand followers, but only a small fraction see any post. Unless I pay. Now I have some pretty negative comments. Spam. Unsolicited. A long lecture about how angels are devils from the 'true Jesus'. That kind of stuff. I don't like it. Ross says it's worth it to get the word out there, and you have to take the good with the bad. More bracelets are going to be sent, that's our objective.
He also says whenever someone says a comment like 'the real Jesus', and we reply, it's always Ross who decides what to say.
He hopes you find is amusing.
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple who are happy in love <3
