Galactic Boot Camp

NGC 281 is also Pacman Nebula, Sharpless 184, or IC 11 - H II region emission nebula located in the constellation Cassiopeia. It is located at a distance of about 9,500 light-years from Earth in the Perseus arm.

Dude?

I don't know what I just went through, but the best way I can describe it is Galactic Boot Camp with my trip to New York.

We live in a sea of energies. I am exquisitely sensitive to them. So the boot camp I am talking about has to do more with my real 'me'--my Consciousness and Energy--than my physical 'me' as you would see in a more traditional 'boot camp'. Just as the physical exercise brings both discipline and physical fitness in traditional 'boot camp', I'm just now barely starting to see the benefits of the last week as I am in the recovery phase.

Countdown day is 184. We are reaching that halfway point, and that's why we are showing the nebula above.

I will give a brief overview of the preparation for this trip, the spiritual guidance (or lack thereof) from Ross, the general impressions of each aspect of the trip, and my thoughts to tie the whole thing together.

In my 'nine-to-five' career, anesthesia has undergone tremendous changes in the last five years. There are technical advancements, there is the opioid crisis, and the emergence of local anesthetic blocks. People who do these typically have a fellowship training, and we call them 'block jocks'. I haven't had the training with the ultrasound. So this time I caught up on everything plus took the block workshop.

We have reappointment every two years, and I needed the units too. The continuing education.

Work was busy up until we left. There are many tasks. One of the most stressful was that my scheduler put me on call the night before my requested leave, and I didn't find out there was a conflict with my red eye flight scheduled in October because the schedule barely came out the last week of November. I had to scramble! Fortunately Dr. Ghaly took my call, and also, Dr. Nasr traded with me so I could get off work in time for my flight. (remember, time is money, and every time I move my schedule so I get out of the hospital early, I'm losing income. When I am not in the O.R. doing cases, my expenses are ticking away but I'm not earning anything. There is no paid leave for anything.)

As I was getting ready, I was pretty stoked because it's our last big trip together during the school year--and we were both packed ahead of schedule.

That's when Ross stepped in.

Tanzanite. I had to wear lots of tanzanite. And take everything else I wear for energy effect off, including my special bracelet I'd ordered from Isabel Henn. I had to be under the radar to escape detection.

I felt like I was going to NY naked, energetically. I knew I had my shields, but I was definitely outside my comfort zone.

It also wasn't easy to find the tanzanite!

As we were getting ready to go, the days leading up to it, I felt energetic resistance.  I also had been given the runaround by my dear friend leading up to the trip. I had packed chocolates as gifts. I had a sinking feeling I was going to bring them home.

Then there was the last minute health situation with Anthony, and the premonition.

Ross had been very much like he was planning a surprise and didn't want me to know. I could see he was busy. I had hoped perhaps this would be when we are finishing our assignments and back together one on one at last!

The flight went well, and we caught a taxi right away, there was hardly any traffic--eerily so on a Saturday morning. We were able to check in twelve hours early because the hotel clerk was kind.

As an aside, something to know from Kerth is that the high adept--um, you know what I'm talking about--the high adepts are different from your 'garden variety'. They actually are able to project a sense that 'everything is cool' so you don't really pick up on them or their intentions. They also focus on working with large groups instead of individuals, so that may be why you don't feel them.

So now lets get back to the energies...

Right across our window was the Diz knee shop. There were many lights and ads. I saw at first glance one of the more-mohn nativity ads, and it disappeared, never to be seen again the rest of the trip. My heart sank.

I didn't realize it, but our mid-town was about the same degree of 'mid' on Manhattan as the U.N.

I felt it.

And Anthony got sick. We had to go to the local urgent care. Fortunately, it was early. Open early enough for us. And we were earlier than the crowds. We had the whole place to ourselves. It was on 42nd street between 8th and 9th. The care was excellent. I have no complaints. I was told by Ross that we needed to be there in that location for 'something'. A spirit thing, I don't know what.

We got the prescription filled at the corner Duane Reade. And had breakfast at Roxy's. I had waffles. Anthony had bagel with lox. Then we went back to the hotel.

I had already skipped some sessions because the conference begins on Saturday morning. But I registered. I had Anthony come to a session with me. And we got the free dinner in the exhibit hall. With my free drink ticket I got a prosecco. Mostly because the guy in front of me ordered it and I always get a little anxious and blank out when I go order at anything.

The energy of the people there was very low. Heisman was going on. So their crowds mixed with ours in the anesthesia world. I think it was Saturday I went to a women in medicine meeting. My protective bracelet I'd made, with fuschite and pearl and tanzanite--literally exploded off my arm. I was on my hands and knees under a table picking up the loose beads I could find.

My bracelets aren't made to last forever. And with the thin wire I use for delicate work, there's not much strength in it. I'd already almost lost it at the airport before departure when the clasp bent loose. But I fixed it. I figure when there's an energy mismatch--time for a major growth spurt--the bracelets don't stay on. Fortunately I had earrings and pendant with the tanzanite.

I learned that my career in anesthesia hasn't been terrific is because I never had a mentor. And I learned that if you smile and show up at work, it's important to the department because that's how the department makes money to support itself--but you won't get promoted.

The incoming NY Anesthesia president did a talk about the stresses. She talked about how family is important and in these times, families come in all shapes and sizes. She talked about how most people get married, most male physicians do not marry female ones, but most female ones marry male physicians. So there's need for lots of 'help' as she put it, to raise the kids. She mentioned single mothers and the stress--kids get sick, and you need to leave. I almost had tears in my eyes. I had chosen to work part time in academics BECAUSE I needed the group support. And our group, when I hired, was led by women. When the man came to be chair, everything got worse. WAY worse. And when the speaker mentioned the 'fifth trimester'--explaining how it's when the mom goes back to work and lasts indefinitely--there's the guilt and the shame and the depression and the difficulty all working mothers experience. It felt wonderful to have the support. I realized how truly blessed I am to be able to raise him as a single mother for the sole support. Most children of single moms in other fields of work face significant hardship.  And no, there was no mention of anyone from private practice as a speaker. Only academics were represented.

One woman a chair of a department of anesthesia, has often repeated the words of her own chair mentor to her mentees river her career--'where do you want to be one year from now and what can I do to help provide you with what you need to get there?'

Wow.

The conference continued, with me going to see Anthony between sessions throughout the day.

By Monday his pain was a seven out of ten, and my friend the urologist said to take him to the E.R. At arrival to the E.R. his pain was an eight and he almost fell over.

This was the hardest part of the trip for me. The angst between my professional needs and my son's needs. The anger that he had kept it secret for so long until now. The disappointment at the E.R. where I took him after the accident, their unwillingness to do a CT scan, and the lack of x-rays or orthopedic work up for the back pain. Was this left over from the auto accident on the way to school? Was it a kidney stone?

I realized I had absolutely no control over my life, over anything, that it's an Illusion, and I was going to have to trust silent Ross on this one. Even without help from him. I had to surrender to my lesson. And to make the best of it. To be strong for Anthony. To accept the trip wasn't going to be us running all over the place seeing the sights.

Even to accept that Anthony never once converted to their time zone the whole trip.

I had to let it go.

Ross wanted me to see clearly that HE was conflicted, then and now, with his duties and his family life. And to accept that even though I would have liked to have him come from wherever he is, and to come to me, he might be elsewhere doing some business he has to do. And his doing that doesn't change his love for me or his family.

I didn't like it. The lesson hurt. I found myself calling him what everyone else calls him, and asking forgiveness for any screw up I ever did in any incarnation and even in any thought in any incarnation, just for the pain to stop.

I felt broken.

I felt anguish because the pain in my child wasn't being treated due to the opioid crisis. The workup couldn't really be completed. I'd picked a good hospital, my friend said.

Sure enough, the 'good hospital', it was on 66th street, next to many places with ties to the Rocker feller people.  We took 66th street back in the cab (fortunately we had excellent drivers Uber once and cabs the rest)...and I was feeling like it was just surreal. How could there be 'work' at a time like this? Apparently our legitimate reason to be in the area gave Ross and his teams enough access to do important things I don't know while we were there.

I had forgotten to say also around the corner from us was Sci-ence-tall-oh GEE! at the hotel. I remember their Los Angeles place was right across the street from my mom's cancer surgery hospital, and in 2013 they did a lot of work Ashtar and Ross because I was in the vicinity.

Anthony, bless him, braved the pain and wanted to do what he could. He didn't want to stay in the hotel the rest of the trip. He also refused the advil and acetaminophen because they didn't work for his pain anyway. We took it step by step. When he hurt we stopped and came back for him to rest. He's a real whiz with the subway system too, and thinks it's fun.

After the conference, what did we see?

The Met. We took a wrong subway stop and had to walk a while, but he got a sandwich at Lenwich, and I ate the leftover pizza from the day before, and had water I'd brought, to save money. There were rich boys studying geometry in the sandwich shop. Anthony realized they were the kids who are like the ones in suits at school--not by what they had on which wasn't suits, but that everyone had on the expensive adidas shoes with the energy boost. And a credit card. The geometry wasn't hard--Anthony is taking it now too. But he saw the money.

So we walked through Lenox hill.

The day before we'd been to the catacombs at Old St. Patrick's in Little Italy (Nolita to be exact, 'north of little Italy' district).  We'd seen the final resting places of some rich and famous, and also heard their stories.

Another day we took a pilgrimage to a macaroni and cheese place, a cheese factory. And sure enough, on our side of the street was a May-sun building for all of NY city!  We did 'something'. Can't tell you what but we did. Down the block from the restaurant was Teddy Roosevelt's birthplace. The docent couldn't understand why they didn't value the original architecture. Both the original home, and also, the uncle's home next door, had been converted to offices, then demolished, and rebuilt in the span of a few years. The Roosevelt home had taken some of the fixtures from the Uncle's, then that one was destroyed. He also couldn't understand why the family had kept a wax fruit display that the 'women of the family had made' for generations. He thought it charming and quaint.

If the wealthy family was like Kerth's upbringing, then, perhaps, it was best to destroy and rebuild so as not to have any family secrets get out? There's always something bad going on in the basements of the rich homes. And the wax fruit may also have similar 'hidden in plain sight' meaning.

My 'take' is that with these people (like Kerth) you have to take the 'day' person with a grain of salt, give them credit for the things they do that are good, and also, realistically, know that the 'day' person isn't fooling you because you acknowledge that the 'night' person also exists.

Being in the home with the energy which was old and quiet--I couldn't really feel much and I didn't see any Spirits although I was looking!--made me gain new respect for the asthmatic boy 'Teedee' who ended up building his physical body and becoming President. He even was shot before a campaign speech--I saw the bullet holes in the shirt, the speech, and the spectacles case...but he didn't cancel the speech. He said it goes with the office! He stuffed a handkerchief into the wound, and then sought medical care after he spoke for an hour and a half! The bullet itself was never removed.


Here's what I learned from the catacombs:  the Irish gangs fought their way into power, and then resented the Italians, who arrived and had to fight their way in (Irish worshipped upstairs and the Italians in the basement church!).

Here's what I learned from Spirit--we went to a lot of places where I couldn't really feel the energy but it 'lifted' after the conference and the doctors and the Heisman people went home.  We went to see My Fair Lady at a facility built by a Rocker-fella.  Lots of places in town were built by people of that kind of background.  And Times Square is a real energy pit where the last thing in the world anyone is interested in is Creator of All that Is.

With the people, they are deep asleep. To the point of being slaves without realizing it. I saw people working late into the night in those offices near the hotel. And my heart opened for them and prayed for them. Everyone is struggling with the high cost of living in the area, except for the creme de la creme financial elite. They are nice people, they want to engage in Life, and since the people who create society and the structure (the amusements)  for them they embrace everything that is told to them is the thing to do!  They also have a sense of trust in their fellow person you don't always see out west. We are kind out here but never take for granted someone is going to be predictable in their interaction with us. In the city back East there is like an unwritten belief that people are good and everything is going to be okay...I saw it in the waiting room at the pediatric ER. The kids. The parents. The health care teams. All have this energy of cohesion and it's a form of love--love for the city, for the society, for the structure that takes care of their needs. I wish I had better words to describe it, but I don't.

We also watched movies. Almost every night.

We watched the Breakfast Club (we are what you see us and label us, but actually each of us is a little of each label), Die Hard (there's high-level organized terror out there, and 'fight to save your family' theme), National Treasure (there's intergenerational continuation of secret societies who 'save' us and also 'protect truth'),  The Godfather (how organized crime works -- as well as how families love one another--it's a mixed bag), and Men In Black (trying to make it seem 'light' and 'fiction' when it's probably true and more).

So that's my 'take' on it. If you take what is hidden in plain sight, and you give a little credit to some old religions older than Egypt that are still sticking around--you see that's what is 'out there'.  I felt it, the dense low energies. I felt the hopelessness of being awake and utterly surrounded by sleepers. I watched the news for how perhaps here or there something was going to 'open up' and 'things would suddenly get better' to no avail. (news for me isn't on TV, it's my sources I go to, the kinds of things I share here when I provide links).

I realized this whole thing is bigger than I can comprehend, and it's going to take our Sky Team who has the big picture to get us through.

The situation is daunting.

From what I did 'sense'--everything all at once--there is a definite bump in the road in the awakening process. You see clearly how Gaia is in a terrible mess, and the people just let it happen. As a matter of fact, they are so enchanted by the deception that they are 'on a roll' and perpetuating the deception unwittingly.

The worst of it is, like in the Breakfast Club, due to our energy being all connected, I am part of the problem too, both before I woke up when I was unaware, and also, after I awakened due to the nature of Energy...in our Collective Consciousness.

It was good to leave the hotel and be home.

I took off the tanzanite. It's super protective, but it's not my natural vibration to wear.

I also was guided that gold is very healing. Ross told me to put on gold--it helps your self-worth and your openness to spirit after hard times. He also said to wear diamond earrings. I have studs from back in 1997 when Frank asked me to marry him. So I have them on too.

That's when I started to feel the joy. In my heart. My HS and Ross had promised me during the flight I would feel joy. At the time I thought it was the last possible thing.

But it's true.

You CAN look the disgusting mess of our current 'reality' square in the face. You can be deeply, badly shaken by it. And you might not be sure how you are going to get through it. You muddle through.

Out the other side of the experience of being tested to your limits, new muscles form. Spiritual ones. And there's a warmth of hope inside that's new.

So hang in there when you experience a Dark Night of the Soul!


(Ross is clapping. That's means I understood my lesson and got it correct enough to pass.)


clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,
(Ross says more from him at another time)
Namaste,
Peace,

Ross and Carla
The Twins