SH2-174 Nebula imaged with a telescope and a scientific CCD camera
There it was, on my newsfeed, out in the open. A woman I had looked up to in high school was asking for help. She is a J.D. and highly educated. She was one of the first openly lesbian students, and eventually married a same-sex partner many years ago.
In December was the anniversary of her mom and her aunt dying.
And her wife left her in December 2015.
She asked, 'how do you cope?'
This is a bougainvillea plant. It's from the tropics and it's very beautiful. But don't pick it! Inside the stems and branches are covered with sharp thorns.
So, what do you do? Do you throw it out and declare it worthless because of the thorns?
Or do you appreciate its bright color and make it part of your world?
Let's share a cup of coffee and talk.
I've been noticing this pattern without realizing what it was with my friends online. The photos of the partner disappear. I'd noticed a pilot friend who had married his wife he'd known since high school, they had two beautiful children and seemed inseparable. I wondered why for the last two years he went to El Salvador with his buddies to surf for his birthday? It was odd, I thought--perhaps a mid-life crisis?
This year before Christmas he took his two kids to Hawaii alone. I saw the boarding passes. There was none for his wife.
Was she busy?
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks--they split up! I felt terrible for them. I'm not very close but they are both dear to my heart.
I remember my friend the surgeon who had a painful breakup years ago, now he posts images of him and his buddies traveling the world, sometimes him and his two girls in some faraway location.
His energy is hardened, cynical, and stoic...I can feel it through the internet. He used to comment a lot on how lucky he was, with the most beautiful wife...
Of all people, I feel I should have picked up on my friend's situations, because I have been through it so often myself! Two failed marriages. And a huge breakup with my baby-daddy when I was four months pregnant. Many, many, MANY Christmases alone! In my training. Because of my work assignments. And even with the co-parenting.
Anthony had mentioned two days ago how it didn't even feel like Christmas.
It felt to him more like some days to endure, something to get over.
He shared how when his grandparents lived in town, Christmas was the best, it was always at their house, and EVERYONE came over to celebrate! (I've even baked Christmas cookies with Anthony and Patrice as my Christmas present I wanted).
Now his grandparents are in Washington with his uncle, and his dad and him are alone, just like at Thanksgiving.
Yesterday I was even more alone. At the house. With two trees to decorate--the setup of one stand took forever for my Charlie Brown tree.
I was grateful for the work and the tasks. I stayed up till midnight wrapping.
But, I never felt alone.
Ross has been working on me for a long time. The most recent was on Wednesday night. I don't want to go into the details, but through remote viewing I saw what had been done to me as an infant in my immediate past life. The slow and deliberate methodological opening, stretching, and grooming me for my purpose in my life where I had the face of a kitten and no name. Ross showed me how they had put a diamond into me--my energy/soul--with the programming. And he, fortunately for me now!, removed it.
I have no ties to those times, and hardly any memories any more.
As we have been approaching these holidays, and especially after his healing of my soul, I have never felt alone.
In the past I felt like an outsider looking in to the celebrations with family.
This year especially, I feel like I am on my own path, and my path has the blessings of the angels, and Ross' love for me is in my heart.
He's hardly ever around except for this warm feeling. He's busy. I've seen flashes of him working, putting on his finest, in preparation for something. I totally accept he's got his own thing to do. I know when he has time for us, he will make it up to us. It has no reflection on me, or on our relationship, with his not being around.
I'm grateful how he arranged for me to have a tree, a new nightgown (Anthony bought it and I have it on now. It's an ugly sweater pattern that says, 'Just Chilling With My Gnomies' on the chest. ), and a new cooking pot. He also helped me find a special crystal to help me recoup my energy after long arduous work shifts.
I can't see the future. I wish I could. I know the word 'soon' has lost all context whatsoever. And I know the community 'out there' is pretty much all over the map when it comes to organization for any event.
But on a soul level everything is in the right place, on the right timeline.
How did I get to this level?
I don't know really although I could guess the answer is, 'I did the work'. I let all those heavy baggage feelings come up, I acknowledged them, and let them go.
It took years.
Many, many experience loneliness around the holidays. In this you are definitely in the majority, I would say! Otherwise these songs wouldn't sell or be popular, right?
Make your own holiday.
Enjoy the now.
Indulge yourself in the season, as it's going away quickly.
So what if you don't have someone to kiss at midnight on New Year's Eve!
Your angels are always with you.
You live in an ocean of love and everyone is connected through the heart in this energy, only most people these days don't realize it, so there is the Illusion of being alone.
Be good to yourself and do things you enjoy.
In a pinch, you can always go visit a pet shop. I did. Many, many many times. I couldn't have a pet, I was so busy. But I could enjoy their energy. Even volunteering at an animal shelter or animal rescue might help you to be around higher vibrational beings who offer unconditional love--on a regular basis--even if you can't have pets in your life.
Be grateful for the love and kindness which is shown you...your neighbors, your coworkers...friends wherever they are.
Know you are beautiful, precious and special for who you are.
The Universe isn't going to ignore you. It is known where it counts how beautiful and special and precious you are.
Stay the course, and keep doing your best until you heal and things improve.
Speak up for your needs (there were times I didn't want to be alone on Christmas when Anthony was gone and I arranged time with friends...brunch, other things.) Honor them. Don't deny you are human and have feelings.
Journaling helps too.
And so does Reiki.
You might want to book some sessions. Or perhaps, sign up to take a class.
Daily self-Reiki is important to nourish your soul energy.
Last night, I was alone. It was midnight. I opened a special gift for me from overseas. It was my only gift, really, since Anthony bought me the nightgown I wanted and left me to wrap it (I wore it instead).
Inside was a beautiful card, filled with love from Heaven. And two bracelets with the strongest energy I've ever experienced. One with more red, was for my right arm, I could tell. The other was for my left. I put them on and it made everything better!
Then it started to rain. There is a bunny on the card. I remembered our white bunny, and ran downstairs to bring her cage inside for the night to keep her warm and dry.
Everything is connected.
Everything is designed for the highest good.
Take one day at a time.
Be grateful for what you have.
More good things will arrive in their own time.
Be glad for this!
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple
Merry Christmas!
