It's been a long time, a long life, and a lot of healing awareness on this journey!
Healing the various things that have happened to me in my early years has taken significant time and resources. If you count the medical situation that launched me out of the 'reactive, unknowing' mode and into the 'healing actively' mode, my pituitary surgery when I was twenty five, then my life was innocence exposed to trauma from ages one to five. There was twenty years of just 'reacting' and not really thinking much other than my hopes and dreams and ambitions. A year was kind of spent unraveling without really understanding why...and BOOM one year later the first of many truths came out. And I countered that with a very strong desire to heal and to be whole.
Here I am thirty one years later. I'm a physician, a Reiki Master-Healer, a mom. I've had four significant relationships that didn't work out, two marriages, a child. I saw a meme today that said, 'I don't date much, but when I do, I date the wrong person.' I cracked up. But actually, these 'wrong' people were the 'right' ones in that they didn't allow my imbalances or unhealed issues to be swept under the carpet!! They were right on target for the healing that I needed to do at the time.
Where does it stop? Is there a ceremony for 'being healed'?
I'm starting to look behind me, and see that yes, it does 'stop'. A lot of it stops by being able to live in the moment without any expectations whatsoever, and to calmly face whatever comes up with courage and faith and openness to change.
Today I have time for my chores. There's been so much going on in my home, it seems like it gets messier without my even trying. It takes everything I have to keep going to work, dishes clean, laundry done, and that's about it. Yes, meals on the table! I have been stuck in that rut for eighteen years.
Fortunately, there's been some positive movement and learning. Just enough to get me out of that emotional 'death grip'. Making time for me--sunshine, exercise, and even taking care of projects--big ones--around the house to repair broken stuff...it helped take the pressure off. So was following Spirit's guidance and going to lots of baseball games. I realized I push myself so hard both at work and at home!
So today, even though the plumber was expensive and the contractor/tile job is going to cost and the plumber coming back is going to cost...I know it's the right thing to do. You can't have problems ignored. In this case, it was water coming out of the shower in one of the bathrooms and causing damage.
It's moments like this when you are caught off-guard by a complete 'AHA!' moment of self-realization. Until the delicate things on the inside heal, you're not going to be able to complete the bigger things effectively. In a way you are just going through the motions. My mess in my house is a reflection of what's inside. And fortunately, Creator has sent opportunity to grow and heal this delicate mess by sending a trusted soul who cares and listens just enough that I feel heard. Now other 'issues' are coming up and being faced and healing too.
Now with renewed energy, I face the chores and the bills and the healing. Until the next thing comes up.
Ross and I want you to make the healing of your heart and soul a priority. To really allow it to pop into your life unannounced whenever the time is right. Rest and meditate and work with your guides. Writing things in a journal is completely effective too, it helps the brain to heal from traumatic events. Pray. Eat well. Spend time in Nature. Do what you have to do to provide for yourself and your family. But after that, allow your soul to release and heal anything that is holding you back. Even if it is totally embarrassing!!!
You will find it is so much more worth it when you are free.
And hopefully, everything else will resolve in even quicker time.
Remember taking time to help others doesn't detract from your goal of healing. It helps build a stronger foundation for your healing to take place, as long as the helping doesn't become codependency or a way to avoid your own healing.
Ross reminds us that EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR THE BEST!
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple
