RRoss asked me to write.
He said to keep it short, so I am.
Yesterday I had a surprising result of meditation.
I was walking on the grass, and focusing only on the sensation, and being present in the moment.
I started to cry.
Emotions I had been stuffing down into my consciousness 'in the name of survival'--starting coming up.
A long time ago, when I quit my job to go to medical school, I told myself that 'I can stop any time I want, when it stops being fun.'
Unfortunately, I forgot to factor in the reality of medical school loans, of paying the bills, and of not really being able to be hired for anything else with my skill set.
Yes, there are cool things I get to do, and very nice people I get to work with. It's not all bad.
But inside, the little child Carla, who has survived so much? The soul who has bravely gone forward with the Awakening, understanding and learning so very much about everything that is going on, and sharing this knowledge with others who are like-minded? Tears were shed.
Some were tears of relief not to have to keep all of that inside any more. To let Creator know how the journey has been difficult, how motherhood has been so sad being single and having to support my family with little time to enjoy my own son, and even less for my sisters and parents and extended family.
Family is everything.
Some were tears of frustration. The stress of work, especially as of late with the whole pandemic, has absolutely broken my heart. I don't like to be in the situations I find myself in, and I don't want to be forced to decide things I am being forced to decide.
Other tears were of wanting MORE, more time to connect with Spirit, because life is practically going through the motions because the only thing that is REAL, it's so hard to refocus life in that direction so you can support yourself and get as much of Spirit as you want/need/feel comfortable with.
Up until starting that mediation, I had no clue I was carrying around so much anguish deep inside.
I meditate daily, and am connected to my guides.
Brave little soldier is an approach that can only get you so far.
Take time to resonate and allow everything that is inside, safely out,
It won't fix everything at once, but it will help you relax a little, and lighten the load.
It will also alert you that you are worthy of being heard and respected--even your deepest emotions. They count far more than you could imagine. And now you can rearrange your goals, to make way and to course-correct.
I asked Spirit to help me find my way, to listen with clarity to my inner guide, and to keep moving forward. I know Spirit will help.
That is all for me for today.,
Ross
Carla is on holiday.
As with all of her 'holidays off', they are in a manner, a 'working holiday'.
Carla is working hard for the cause and has accomplished great things for the big picture.
Carla focuses great resources to help right wrongs (spiritually) in geographic places.
In this she has done well.
Her ancestors are proud of her work.
I will help her with everything.
As I promise when it is your time I will help you with what Spirit invites you to do too.
I love and bless and honor you. Carla does too.
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple who are hard at work healing Gaia from within and from without
