I don't know when exactly, but I stumbled across something recently that I think is worth sharing. The other day, I was heading out towards work, and our neighbor on the corner was heading out. She pulled up and we chatted normal, everyday things. I didn't want to be late for work, but I sensed our talking was important, and I did my best to calmly answer her questions about the hospital, and Covid, and things like that.
I'm so glad I took the time.
Her husband died in a motorcycle racing accident that afternoon.
Another neighbor let me know. Her husband was a leader in our community. I was totally shocked. He was young and leaves two college-age daughters behind.
Instinctively, intuitively, I thought to myself, 'she is going to have bills, lots and lots of them, and I don't know how she is going to pay.' Her work is in the office of a local elementary school. She started working because on his business the health insurance was too expensive to maintain their coverage.
I didn't tell anyone what I did.
I had already written checks to my sister and brother in law, and my niece and nephew, with sympathy letters over the loss of their grandma (yes, not my mom, their other grandma. Both died within two weeks of each other). I wrote another card and included a check for one hundred dollars (the same as to all four mentioned combined), and put it in the back of her mailbox without sending it through the mail.
Little did I know grief would visit me soon.
My friend Kelly's mom passed a couple of years ago. I brought her a grief bracelet, and one for her staff who also had a serious loss in the family. (when I put mine on, it worked, instantly. It was the first time I could appreciate it first hand).
Kelly knew I was in a world of pain and hurt, and she also wanted to guide me and support me in my loss. Kelly managed to find out from Anthony where my favorite restaurant was, and ordered enough food to feed an army and had it delivered to the home. Anthony and I were so hit by the loss that we couldn't even figure out if we were hungry or not. But when we smelled the food we realized we were in fact very hungry! It was like Christmas.
Kelly doesn't do things for recognition. She's very quiet about when she gives. And she says that she just feels when it's needed and does it and doesn't think twice.
Later on, in my mailbox, was a note from our neighbor, thanking me for giving her 'sustenance'.
It's true.
I knew she'd have trouble and I acted without thinking of myself or the after effects to me. Or even what she or anyone would think. But it helped her to survive.
Through Kelly's generosity and kindness (It was four huge shopping bags of Mexican food!) it came back to me when I needed it the most.
Anthony and I were still in a bad way. I remembered our friend the dog-walker and pet-sitter neighbor from our old house. I had called her to let her know about mom's passing. I reached out again and asked if we could arrange for Anthony to spend time with her dog. They both 'were puppies together' if you know what I mean. Anthony was the dog's boy. When she mentioned his name to the dog at home, the dog remembered and got very excited to go see him. She brought a card and two bouquets of flowers from the grocery store. She spent the whole afternoon with us. It meant so much.
So many have reached out to us, with phone calls, and cards and letters and handmade bracelet and earrings of hemimorphite, bouquets...plants. It touched my heart deeply.
At work, I've been near tears for weeks. There's been lots of support from the nurses. And one colleague, Esther, has helped me to have time to grieve by helping to cover some of my call. She's helping everyone take call.
We were going to go to lunch and talk about our work situations, but a surgeon invited himself to go with us to noodles. He is very kind, he paid for us both, and also bought food for the three nurses in the recovery room. We had ramen noodles with firm noodles. And a spam musubi.
I had given him socks the other week. Nice once, from Stance. I didn't buy a single pair for me. We had gone back to school shopping. I bought some for Anthony. These had something like the surgeon's nickname on them. I've known him twenty years. So I didn't think twice about the thirty dollars for the socks. As it turned out, I ended up given them to him a few days before his birthday.
Yesterday I had a huge insight, and I think I understand why Ross suggested not to throw the baby out with the bathwater at my work.
It's dog eat dog.
In a bad way.
But with the extra time I'll have available, I don't have to buy into that mentality.
We can create our own 'pack' of caring, like-minded anesthesiologists at work, who cover for one another when they are sick and have to do things. Dogs are always working together as a team, too. It doesn't have to be dog-eat-dog.
It's starting now, it's all attitude, and by doing the right thing, it will catch on.
It's always the lowly ones the Divine Creator chooses, the Davids with the Goliaths, and with the support of Creator, if we align with Divine Will, we will be in good shape.
It's better to have less work, and to be made an example to the others--and still not have to take OB call at my hospital.
This extra time is helping me to figure out if I'd like to do anything else, ANYTHING, and get it launched off the ground.
I deserve to be a lot happier than I am.
And the working conditions are horrible. This needs to change.
The Kingdom of Kindness doesn't need money. It's from the magic that happens when we assemble together, for when two or more are gathered, the Divine is Present.
This is the wave of energy we are immersed in.
My work is like that.
It can change.
All of it can change.
It starts with our choices, our actions, and our perceptions.
Ross
Carla will have half the money she had, but twice the time will be available to her, due to her work situation.
Carla is hopeful, and also, working with me.
She is in a little bit of shock as she was told she would be working in her old capacity (eighty percent time) and 'possibly as low as fifty percent' weeks ago. It was only on Friday she learned that she WAS at fifty percent, and sharing a job with Esther.
Let's see what she can do.
Let's see what we can accomplish together.
A journey of one thousand miles begins with a first step. I think that was Lao Zhu who said it.
Everything up here is going well. I want you to keep your wits about you and to have patience. Focus on the inner part, your intuition and your discernment. It will serve you in the long run as the changes are taking place. In your world and in ours...
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple who are very much in love <3
