ALGIERS, ALGERIA - FEB 6, 2018: An ancient part of old city of Algeria, called casbah(kasaba).Old city is 122 metres (400 ft) above the sea. The casbah and the two quays form a triangle
Ascension is ongoing for the inhabitants of Gaia surface. For me, at the moment, I feel more like this--either way I go, it's stairs that are rocky and go straight up.
I could see yesterday for Valentine's, the people in the hospital were open, caring, sharing, even patients were asking me to be their valentine. It was heart-warming to see. There were treats to be shared. Even the boss of the O.R. said, 'I love the O.R. staff!' on a gift of candy she gave.
People are opening up.
We are at day one hundred twenty-two in the countdown.
So...why am I feeling blue?
Because I'm tired of waiting for something super duper like this vapor cone, or the galactics, or whatever to just make everything better. We may be at countdown 122, but I've had 243 days already counting, and years of days before that before I even got to count.
I'm tired of working on myself.
I'm tired of being 'the bigger person'.
And it was never so poignant as yesterday with the stupid 'Hallmark Holiday' how horrible it is to be in a relationship with someone who is on The Other Side, as well as how long it's been since I've had any relationship on earth for that matter (they have all been terrible failures), and furthermore how my energy is so high that it's freakishly incompatible with anyone who isn't on The Other Side for anything long-term to be a success.
I was so down that Ross actually sat me down to write a message to me, something he rarely does, and he told me/asked me to 'just make it through this day'.
So I did.
Anthony gave me a beautiful card. He came home from the hospital on Valentines Day fourteen years ago. And he wrote in it that he hoped I'd feel just like that day again.
We are working hard with the impending move to clear the kitchen so there's less to move. I actually do my best creativity when I have limited ingredients. So I made chicken piccata. He loved it. He said his mouth watered and he's never had that happen at home (all the lemon juice and capers in the reduction). We had cheese -- goat cheese with lavender--and crackers, salad, the chicken and some penne pasta, and a little chocolate pudding for dessert. I enjoy his company and companionship very much.
But after that, at eight p.m. I was ready for bed. That's all I ever want to do these days is sleep, I can't get enough of it.
Today is another day.
I was really glad to see this Bible verse.
I'm so tired of the world.
I'm so sick and tired of the bullshit the ILL-oom-in-aught-tea put out. I see right through it. TWDNHOBIAH and all the drama with the 'swamp draining' or whatever you want to call it, I just don't care any more. I have no interest even in checking for progress.
This Gaia Portal just came out. It's just another one. There's going to be more of the same mysterious crap without any visible changes of improvement.
I'm so very very tired.
I'm tired of being Spiritual responsible when so many others aren't. I know I know it's not their fault, they drank the kool-ade, they fell asleep...I love them anyway. I still love Ross. I adore all of you.
I'm at a place in my life where the things I enjoy doing--reading, learning, making bracelets, doing healing work--even exercise and doing things that bring me joy--are temporarily taking a back seat to all the changes going on in my life and that of my family and my work.
I KNOW better days are ahead. I KNOW this is unsustainable. No matter how much TWDNHOBIAH want to perpetuate it, the energy isn't favorable for it to continue. It's like an old jalopy of a car that is super close to breaking down.
When you have hard days in your Ascension, and you will, just make it through each day, same as Ross encouraged me. Do what you showed up to do. And in my case, is was going to work, coming home, and making dinner. Don't add anything fancy. Don't beat yourself up. Know that it's part of the process.
If you think of it, misery such as this doesn't exist in the higher Realms where we are from, which is our Home. So in a way, being blue is sort of a Galactic Delicacy in the feelings department.
I don't think I've ever been more grateful to my Higher Self in a long time. I thank Her. I actually feel her in me more, even though I don't know her that well--I can tell by how calm and brave I am, and how grounded, that I'm tapping into Her strengths too. I thank her for the good things that come.
Yesterday my best was one Sees candy from the ICU. Then it felt like Valentine's day.
Today will be better. And I won't have time to get bored, lol. Lots of work ahead.
Tell yourself things like this too, until things improve. I know Ashtar has a way of lowering the ambient energies before a big blast comes in, and sometimes when he does this for the benefit of the masses, I feel as if I am without Spiritual Air and I get very low. Perhaps there is a component of this too. He thinks the energy 'takes' better when he does this. For myself, I wish he would consult with me and at least get my permission to jack things up, but he doesn't.
Sometimes all you can do is Just Show Up.
You are not alone if you feel this way from time to time.
That is why Ross and I are writing this message.
As he says, 'It's okay to be human as long as you know how to manage it and it doesn't get out of control as in 'take over your life''...it's okay to kick things upstairs to your teams and make them work too. To make things better for you on a particular subject.
That's enough for today.
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Twins
P.S. this one is for extra credit! OMG, so many layers of ways to read into this! Is Bradley a tranny? There's videos that say he is. What are the 'old ways'? The ways of Moloch? Or Divine Creator? You could write a whole thesis paper on the hidden messages in this song. And--even though I've never seen A Star Is Born, I just heart this on Coffeehouse on Sirius XM--you would be AMAZED at how many YouTubers out there are teaching how to play this song! There's covers by lots of other YouTubers too. Apparently this one really strikes a chord. It did with me, when I heard it. That's why I took the picture to remember the title. Anyhow, after all this complexity you can totally understand why I'm getting a little fatigued at ferreting out the Truth. LOL
