Ross and I have been pretty good in our relationship. We've had to do salvage work for a long time since our last incarnation together.
The two before that, we were like this couple on the beach, inseparable. Deeply in love. And growing in spirit as the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine are designed to do for one another.
In our immediate past life, we grew up together and were very close. Ross was the typical 'boy next door' as well as the 'one in the village everyone wanted to marry'. Our wise ones knew that Ross was going to have an important role in the development of the human consciousness. He would need the right partner. And because in those days marriages were arranged and NOT an independent 'love match' between the couple, no matter how Ross and I felt about one another, the elders were going to pick the 'right girl' for him.
There were interviews of sorts. Where they observed the interaction between Ross and his potential mates, from a spiritual perspective, from a 'Highest Good' point of view.
And much to my delight, I was chosen.
Although I didn't know it until my wedding day, for my arranged marriage, where the whole town had kept it a secret that I was the one for him. And as my father figure walked me down the aisle and I faced in my heart certain doom for wives were not treated well back in those days--it could have been as well to my grandpa the way the ages worked out back then--I saw him smiling at me, with a glorious smile at the end of the aisle. Ross!
My beautiful, beloved, Ross!!
Every eye wept to see our great joy which was the culmination of three lifetimes spent together here on Earth!
It was right.
Our honeymoon was the best time, a long six months far away I think to an island in Greece. I see the white house up on the hill, I see the short walk to the ocean, I have seen the veranda. There was bouganvillea. There was much happiness. I remember it all.
I remember coming back home, with a little bit of sadness.
I remember Ross' work starting to grow. And my concern over possible infiltration by dark forces into our work.
I remember our travel to India, and how I begged with all my heart for us to STAY after all the many years we lived there. I remember that home too. How happy it was--even though Ross was gone long hours for his studies, I knew his heart was true to me. And I also was able to indulge my love of cooking and jewelry with the wonderful people who were there. I learned everything from them, including the language.
Both Ross and I were fluent in whatever language it was we spoke there.
This led to our heartache.
This led to our dissolution as a couple, not through his death, but with my complete and total rejection of him as a soul.
It took teams of experts to even get me to talk to him in this life. My soul had run, and had tricked something (I sent a fake Higher Self 'up', and stayed 'here' to escape Ross eternally). Even though Twin Souls are always 'one' and connected, I did my very best to run from him in every way I could as a soul.
We have been together since 2013 November--him in Spirit, and me incarnate--and worked through much healing.
A pivotal point was the Ross Bondo treatment he gave me. Ross is the one who invented it. There is a salve that goes on (in spirit). It hardens. Underneath it permits very deep healing on a soul level. You can function without the pain for the first time. As the healing takes place, for me, it was about six weeks later, I felt a funny sensation as the shell came off, revealing the 'new me' underneath.
It's functioned well, effortlessly, and Ross and I have enjoyed our relationship's blessings and I have never looked back.
We have felt like we did as youths before any of our lives happened in that immediate last incarnation.
Until me, yesterday.
Let me share that in all of this, Ross has never really spoken, or said his part, on his wandering eye and worse, because up until yesterday, he's been supportive of me and helping me heal.
Yesterday Ross called me on it.
This is a Galactic type of interaction, and I want you to notice closely how it is at the same time, fair, logical, persistent, and detached.
This song came on the bluegrass station on my way to work.
I had never heard it.
I listened...and the words...sigh. The words!
If only they knew...
Since Ross is my twin, he felt my heart immediately. And I felt him in return, say, he always WAS faithful to me.
I was like, dude? Seriously. You bed countless women, and yet I am 'the only one for you?'
Whatever.
Now, in Southern California-Speak, 'whatever' said in that tone is vastly more incriminating and dismissive than a direct F-ck you.
I had 'whatever'-ed Ross.
Well, he spoke back.
Through songs, through music, and through the feeling I got--like when Spirit 'nudges' you--and I knew it was him.
The first song he played had 'sugar' in it. I don't recall the title. But he had me switch from Bluegrass to Coffeehouse to hear this song he wanted me to hear.
His message was, 'it was an addiction, like sugar is addictive.' All those women were like sugar to him.
I've heard it before. 'they meant NOTHING to me'. I've heard it when other people said it to their partners in exasperation. I've heard it when Ross told me that so many years ago. Only this time, as his Twin, I felt it, his point, that for him, in his heart, he could have feelings for me which were more 'lofty'--partnership, friendship, intellectual match, as well as deep spiritual connection--while at the same time go do terrible things with anyone who caught his eye. 'It was just sex' so many men say. And as a woman, I just can't admit it makes any sense to me at all. Except I've heard it so many times to recognize a whole lot of men feel the same way.
When women cheat, they want a way out of the relationship. It's not meeting their needs, emotionally, or perhaps, sexually. If the relationship was good, most women, given the opportunity, wouldn't fool around behind their partner's back.
But with men, apparently, at least with Ross, it's different.
So the thing that came up for healing with me was basically shame and disgust. And later, much much later after Ross' songs--a feeling of being ugly and rejected by him. Like not being 'good enough' to keep him faithful, you know?
Anyhow, after the one song about the sugar--where I admit sexual infidelity when taken to extremes definitely is an addiction -- one came on by Jewel about how your intuition will carry you through.
Again, another Galactic theme.
The song immediately after?
I will be good.
There you have a Galactic Promise. They do that.
I embraced him with my heart, and sighed. The Long Nightmare, is over. And it was a Nightmare. A horrible one at that.
By that time I was parking the car at work, and getting started with my day. I thought our discussion was over.
But on the way home, it continued.
and
His message is clear.
I came home after picking Anthony up. We had a snack, and in a bit, I made us dinner.
I finally understood why Ross wanted me to buy the new pots and pans. Heating up the aluminum non-stick (healthy 'ceramic') pans wasn't good for us. It's basically like cooking with aluminum foil but is thicker--it throws off aluminum not so much into the food due to the lining, but to the air. And I know teflon can kill a bird at high temperatures with the toxic gas it spews off the surface--birds lungs are very delicate. Who is to say this new 'healthy' ceramic coating isn't the teflon of our time? I threw out (to give away) every aluminum pan we have, except one--the griddle. It covers two burners, and we hardly ever use it. At once the energy in my house got lighter. (I also have a 'scraper' I bought at the grocery store, it's like a glorified fingernail when you wash the pot with the stuff stuck on it--this isn't is but has the right shape and material)
Then I had to go to the Association meeting. It's so sad. Everything is how a board interprets it. There's politics. But anyhow, Ross says to stay put, not to move, not just yet, but to keep fixing things that are broken in the house. And throwing out stuff! lol. He says financially I wouldn't recover from a move at this point.
When I came home, Ross had told Anthony for us to have the last tiramisu (little glass containers from Costco, and they make nice glasses afterwards) and wine for me. I was glad for this. I didn't have to write this topic--I knew it was next up--until the morning.
Today is off. So I can work on my many DWR things, fortunately. Everything works out, and I trust.
I can see with a good night's sleep under my belt, that Ross is right. For him, he DID love me. Always. I am the only one for him. He had a disease, a problem, that would only affect him here incarnate, and as he is no longer incarnate, that's not going to come back. I also have his word on his fidelity, back home, where the rules are a little different--but he's making a point he is going to help me heal for as long as it takes.
If you have been devastated by a partner--for whatever they have done, for anything! but especially the betrayal due to addiction--to hurt you, take heart.
The long nightmare IS over for us all.
Keep your intuition connected to Spirit. You will find your way.
And you won't ever have to experience that pain again.
Please take a moment to listen to his song, click on the play arrow. It's awesome.
Here's the YouTube version of the same song if you can't click:
clap! clap!
(Ross is a little vulnerable and shy, he's going to be quiet for today. This wasn't easy for either of us today to share. He calls it 'our dirty laundry has gone public'. He knows it's for the healing of others that we share. And if you have been through similar, he wants you to know everything is going to be okay. You will heal.)
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple
