Ross Has His Hands Full With Me
Yesterday I was one half hour late to work. Fridays we have eight o'clock starts. I was really sleepy, and I hit the snooze button. I woke up, decided to skip my blog writing, and guess what?
The 'nudge' to write hit. So I wrote.
But I needed a shower. I took one after the blog to help wake Anthony up. He had yet another nightmare in the middle of the night, and climbed into my bed.
By the time I had breakfast (Ross had planned it the night before, yogurt and granola and fruit), lunches packed (I skipped my sandwich and just did fruit and carrots to save time)--I had ten minutes to drive Anthony to school AND get to work!
This is on a Friday, a late start, where traffic is worse!
Although I was on the road at seven thirty, and could get away with showing up at seven forty, I wasn't sure if I would make it...
At seven-thirty five, I called the charge nurse, and said, you better have a back up plan. He has two rooms. Perhaps the other anesthesiologist is closer???
She was very kind, and understood I had overslept due to staying up late for Anthony's homework project.
She said, 'Drive safe!'
I was a bundle of nerves. I just can't take it any more, this waking up, being 'on time' and yet never having any say in when I go home. I can't accept having to promptly clock in but never to know when I will be able to clock out! It's like a double time stealer, you know? At both ends of my day.
Deep down, I was thankful for the few moments Anthony and I had at table to start our day...but I was still a mess.
Ross intervened. He told me at the start not to worry, he would help.
But I have anxiety--I keep it under control most of the time, but I am anxious by nature, and yesterday it was really bad.
Ross had me imagine Victoria. Getting on the plane. Landing in Seattle. Being happy with Anthony. Flying into YJJ and getting off the plane. Feeling those breaths of fresh crisp air. Getting the rental car and driving to downtown. Checking into the hotel. Seeing the room. Choosing who gets what bed...imagining running down the dock to get to the water taxi...having our first poutine and tasting it.
I was driving and being careful, but in my moment of distress I was NOT there. My heart and soul were in the safety of vacation in Victoria. I also made the connection that it is my WORK that helps me be able to go visit the place I love, and deep down, I was grateful.
I almost had one accident on the offramp. It is a merge, poorly designed, and the onramp traffic for the other direction is in the same lane as us. I slammed on the brakes, and experienced what anti-lock braking systems do as I skidded. I realized this would be recorded in the car's little black box...
As I pulled into the parking lot, I saw my surgeon walking in. Like Ross said, I was okay, because a late surgeon is a help.
I took care of a wonderful patient, a young teen, who had a bad experience the first time. There were tears in their eyes in pre-op. I realized I was meant to take care of this child, and it happened to be.
In total, we were ten minutes late rolling into the O.R.
I apologized profusely to my surgeon--who is a friend and takes care of Anthony for me when he has sports injuries--I overslept...I was truly sorry.
His response? Sarcasm and love--'YOU OVER-SLEPT?! Ten lashes for you!'
The nurse said, 'Wow, you are in a good mood today!'
The case took ten minutes. He was ahead of schedule on his next case. The child had a wonderful experience with his anesthesia.
Thanks Ross!
The Washing Machine
From there my day energetically decompensated, and I felt in every way like a piece of clothing in a washing machine, being tossed this way and that.
My next patient was late. So I got the one for the other room--we negotiated a 'switch'. I introduced myself to my next patient. I.V. placement was a problem--sometimes when people have had other surgery you can't put an i.v. or a blood pressure cuff, but when the surgery is on the 'good' arm, then there is trouble.
My surgeon was nice, and let me 'share' the 'good' arm, and I placed the i.v.
As I was placing it, my 'late' patient arrived, was not happy, and cancelled his surgery.
My phone rang. The surgery center had a room running late. Could you please start another case?
Okay.
I negotiated and communicated with everyone--the front board, the charge nurse, the O.R. manager, my colleague who was also working on that surgeon's cases.
Backup anesthesia was called in early to take my lineup (not everyone can go to the surgery center--I can, that's why I was picked.)
I got there for a patient who was super anxious--and to be frank, took a lot more anesthesia than I thought to get them to sleep.
I just put in the endotracheal tube when my colleague wanted to take my case from me! He does that! He wants the money. I hadn't charted anything. So I asked him to please come back in ten minutes. I charted everything and got caught up, and left.
Yes, if you do the math, I gave up one case to get half a case, and then came back to NO cases until one p.m. I would have had two cases had I stayed put in the main O.R. and not been asked to do the favor.
I was also told there was an add on at the end of my new lineup.
My heart sank.
I was supposed to pick up Anthony early and take him to an early drum lesson...
I excused myself to readjust childcare...I made a phone call, and she had to switch up her day, but she could do it.
My lineup assignment changed two more times.
Did I fight it?
No. I did not.
I realized since I work with Source, and Ross and my guides get to help me co-create, even though today 'felt funny' I KNEW there was a reason for my being thrown about, and I kept calm.
I figured in the end, it was for the Highest Good.
I ended up getting at the end of the day, an unstable neck fracture patient, and fortunately, I knew what to do.
I just checked--he is walking fine today. That might not have happened had his team not known what to do. <3
FYI--the new Creator Writings echoes this: https://thecreatorwritings.wordpress.com/2015/10/03/your-liberating-art/
Mom Time
I came home at five, and had two hours before a birthday party for a mom from our children's basketball team.
I spent time with the rabbit. I had seen on Facebook that Anthony's great grandmother, who had Alzheimer's, had finally passed. I knew I was going to have to break the news to him. I checked with Jared first, who said it was okay, and yes, he would let me know about the funeral arrangements so Anthony could go.
I cleaned the cage and let her run around in the atrium.
Then I took my chance--I picked her up. It was the first time for both of us. She didn't want to go, but I picked her up legs first, held her close and supported her, and gave her kisses. I explained how Anthony is going to need her, and I wanted to make sure she knew what to expect. I gently thanked her and put her down. She made a point to clean her fur to get my scent off of her LOL.
Then Ross had me lie on the porch swing.
He came to me with Rachel, who is the great grandmother. She told me she knew I had loved Jared, and she thanked me for bringing Anthony into her life. He was her ONLY great grandchild, and she was thankful. She said more, but it was between us, and I was glad to hear her say it.
She also told me 'everything is going to be okay' when it comes to Ross and me, and Anthony, and our future. I appreciated this very much.
Then I made a bracelet for Tonya. Ross helped me to design it. We used pearls. He told me what size, and how. It came very nice. I love being able to make bracelets as gifts. It is more personal.
I arrived--at the restaurant--and felt welcomed even though I only knew the birthday mom. There were twelve other moms there! They were very nice.
Ross has been showing me how my 'gift' in this incarnation is to be 'normal'...I can recall childhood with Jackie, growing up, and having no CLUE who I actually am, or that I am close to him.
It has been a real gift, to be a nobody, because from where I am from I am very well known. Having these experiences 'solo' and being able to enjoy them on my own has been a wonderful experience.
I recall how gentle the awakening has been for me. How several years ago, all alone on Christmas Day, I was guided to a channeled message, that was a re-post of an earlier one by some channel I don't even remember. It was an interview with Jesus, and he was asked of the Magdalen, and he paused then said, 'She is incarnate'.
Something deep in my soul was like, 'huh?' and it knew I was meant to see it, although I had no clue at the time. That and also with Nana's passing, Ross has been the most gentle of guides. He is my husband, my twin, and my friend, and has deftly navigated me through my life experience--with all my other guides whom I thank deeply--to get me to where I am today.
So here I am at the far end of the table at the birthday party with twelve other moms, and I can't see the menu because it is outdoors on the patio and it's dark. I learn how to use the flashlight on my cell phone to read the menu. We just talk. Nobody knows I'm a doctor. I order a cosmopolitan--I haven't had one in years. I notice how the cell phone really is used at the table--all the women 'check'--I do too to make sure Anthony isn't trying to reach me...but I stay off social media. The women share their photos as they speak of their families. To my right, the sprint track mom who wants her kids to go for track in five more years, ends up sitting 'accidentally' --there were no seating arrangements--to the wife of the track sprint coach at their local high school!
I enjoyed being 'normal'.
I also paid for the appetizers the birthday mom ordered for all of us to share. There had been an awkward moment where the group decided on 'one ticket', but the mom next to me voted for 'separate tickets' because 'in the end there may not be enough money'...as it ended up, she was my 'buddy' for the twin tickets the server requested (it's less transactions that way). She was astonished I would pay for the appetizers (forty dollars) and not say a word to the group! Her meal was twenty, and I didn't ask her for tip or tax, I just said to give me twenty dollars, and I would charge the rest. But she gave me thirty, because she wanted to help pay for the tax and tip (about five dollars) and the appetizers too (another five dollars). A two teacher home has to watch the money. I know. I grew up in a one teacher one stay at home mom household. That ten dollars for her was so much more than the entire bill of one hundred fifty dollars was for me (I gave a nice tip--I tip twenty to thirty percent on large groups)...I was impressed with her generosity, and her willingness to 'see things' from a different perspective.
There also, when we first sat down, was a little toddler girl who started screaming when she saw the balloon bouquet. She wanted one! The mom who had bought the balloons, quietly reached up and gave her one, much to the child--a total stranger's child at that--delight!
We are in 5D!
Heaven is Here and Now. And it begins with me and you.
There IS enough...
My Adorable Ross!
This morning, I was asked, 'what do you want from me?' by Ross.
I smiled, and said shyly, 'I want to see more of your sense of humor, Ross. I want to joke around with you. I want to see what you think is funny, and really get to know YOU.'
He said, grandiosely, 'your wish is my command!' and went away.
I was like, 'gosh, I hope I didn't hurt his feelings?'
When I got up, Anthony said, 'mom! come downstairs!'
He shared me this:
http://vancouverisland.ctvnews.ca/video?clipId=715245&binId=1.1180928&playlistPageNum=1
Now, this isn't MY Ross, but he has a lot in common...with the advanced capability, the fondness for dragons, and the willingness to help others. I liked Ross's sharing this very much...
Ross
Carla is having a wonderful day. It is the kind of day she has always dreamed about. Relaxing and having fun, and being able to cook.
Anthony got to hold the rabbit today, for the first time, too. He was thrilled.
He took the news of his great grandmother well, and was wise beyond his years.
Carla had prepared him for the news, by being at the table with him, and sharing a piece of pumpkin cheesecake, so he could talk.
He said he liked spending time with her more when she knew who he was. And towards the end, she had to ask, 'who are you?' but when he would say, 'Anthony' she would be, 'Oh, yes...'
Carla was sure to tell him Rachel loved him very much, and also, that Jared asked for Carla to tell him the news about the family.
Everything is happening for the best, in the best possible way.
I am very close to Carla now, as she is to me.
I love my honey.
Things are good up here on my end. Time is slow for us, and we never rush anything.
Hold on to your hats!
We are excited for the changes with you!
And I am not joking or making light...good things are around the corner...for all of us.
Peace.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Twins
