Today I called for her.
I called for my Higher Self. I was in tears. She came and took me shopping while my body was in the hammock in the breeze and the sun.
I shared with her my heart. I have guy trouble. How would Isis feel if someone said there was no such thing as Osirus and Horus was going to walk out and have a walk-in replace him? Isis would be in shock. Absolute, total, unthinkable shock.
I told her how I felt like such a loser in the guy department. I need her now more than ever. As we climb closer and closer to Home, the vibrations of the Higher Realms, people are starting to behave in a Galactic way. But they are not Grown Up Galactic. They are baby Galactic at best. They are human. They don't know or understand or comprehend the rules of ANYTHING back home! And it's frustrating and painful and all I can do is mindless chores to keep myself from crying in front of Anthony.
Rule number one--if you have a Twin, like I do, you are going to have most likely more than one. In the Higher Realms, nothing is hidden. That doesn't mean that we don't have respect and discretion. Having one person talk to a Twin about their relationships with other Twins is like a slap in the face. It is painful, it stings, and it doesn't help anyone with their spiritual progress. As a human, I thought that the person they were speaking of in all this glowing wonderful terms that they had discovered was me. It was an honest mistake. A totally honest mistake, on my part and on the part of the other.
I'm sooooo thankful for my Higher Self. She's like a big sister or cool friend. I was absolutely devastated. Because of my PTSD, because of my traumas, I can't process emotions in real time. They hit after. I didn't want anything to do with men to help with this feeling of being crushed, cast aside, unappreciated, and labeled in a human way as Twin Whatever. Not Ross, who I know and love, not any of my Twins I know on the Other Side, ever have spoken to me about any of their other Twins. And even a soul who shares relationships with my Twins back Home, never says anything that would cause me pain or to feel less. That's why we are best friends. She totally cares.
If and when you are ever fortunate to have a soul Twin, your love for them is unique, it's unrepeatable, and something to treasure above anything else. You can treasure many souls, because of the mirror they show you of your own soul, and how they help you to grow. A Twin is irreplaceable. Even if they are not perfect, your Twin needs encouragement, tenderness, love. In the Higher Realms there's nothing else but this! As we climb the mountain UP to the Higher Realms, even MORE gentle kindness and love is needed as the human part isn't all the way cast off yet...
I would never in a million years change any of my relationships with anyone whom I am close to on the Other Side. Or on Earth. My Star Family....I love and cherish them, and human as I am I am doing everything in my power to raise my vibration. I did the plucking of the abandonment pain out of my soul. Today, I am left with my best friend in Creation being my Heavenly Mother, and my Higher Self. Ross has been quieter than quiet, I don't understand why, I don't like this lesson, and it hurts so much. I trust that everything is happening for the Highest Good, and that nothing but good can come out of it.
Even though it helped, I'm crying again as I write this, because of another trouble...work took away all time off, all vacations, and sent out some fucking memo from some assholes that say I have a 'Duty to Care' even if there is risk to me.
The only oath I ever took was the Hippocratic Oath--first do no harm.
If there isn't enough personal protection I will say fuck it.
Oh how much I had thought God had sent me someone strong and unshakable to hold my hand as I walk through this battlefield ahead of me. I am not Joan of Arc rallying to the fore. I could just cry for days at the thought of anything happening to me because of Anthony. If it wasn't for him, to be honest, I'd just be going Home. He is counting on me to raise him. And to be with him here because there's no school. Thankfully for that my family and neighbors are a huge support.
I don't believe it for one minute when people say COVID-19 is curable. It is a bioweapon.
The way I see it, COVID-19 is a Level 4 necessary safety equipment protection virus, and at best, our safety equipment in the field is Level 3. It's a suicide run, and people are just sitting in their ass in pajamas and letting us all go to die, to suffer, to hunger, to thirst, and to get a whole new kind of PTSD.
The bioweapon PLANNED for healthcare to be overrun and the systems to fail. The economic system is next to collapse. You might as well prepare for it.
It's funny, because a couple here at work, two anesthesiologists, divorced their spouses, and the set of four adults--with children for their coparenting to work in the new location--moved to Florida. And I picked up the smell of death. I knew their happiness wasn't going to last like they thought it was. I sensed trouble, hardship, pain in the future. It must be the Coronavirus--I sensed it even though I didn't know what it was. It's so painful, knowing what I know, psychically and medically, with this whole pandemic.
Thank God Ross heard, and sent this much needed message. Today.
At least now, I am home, there's sweet potatoes and elk roast in the oven. I added salt, pepper, and winter savory to season it. There's guyaba (guava) cooking on the stove for dessert. Ross wants me to pick some arugula for a salad, so I will.
I am so sorry I ever got my hopes up for someone to be by my side, a human, a friend, someone who makes me laugh, who happens to be, by the way, an incarnate Twin I didn't know I had. Someone to walk every step of the way, and tell me everything is going to be okay. You know, a big strong shoulder with fire in their eyes? In Heaven, everyone is so wise, so calm, so loving. You never feel you are ever anything less when you are in their presence.
Today I cry. Tomorrow I will cry. I don't think I will ever stop crying in the foreseeable road ahead.
And my sister just called, with my baby niece. She was playing with her cupcake toys I'd given her, all clean from her bath. I'm so thankful Spirit sent this video chat. It helped. I told her I'd been crying over the news from my work. And she, thankfully, has training as a counselor, and said all the right things. She reminded me all of this is a cover, to get rid of the bad guys, and to be calm. If I have to go to the trenches, it is worth it, just to make sure we are free of the darkness forevermore.
I am so, so sorry I made my mistake, of hoping for someone to help me be strong, and for getting the messages mixed up.
I'm never alone.
It's a total pain in the ass to have your Illuminated Twin not incarnate. But then again, even when a Twin is incarnate, it's never an easy path because both of you are expecting the very highest of each other--from remembering them and Home just enough--but you are human and doing the best you can given the circumstances.
WWG1WGA.
That's all that matters.
Thank you Ross for your loving advice, and I'll 'tune in' on you, my HS, my Divine Mom and Dad, the faith and love of our beautiful readers/Community, and live in the moment for as long as I can. Your bracelet is on my arm, your beautiful mermaid pendant is next to my heart, and when I long for warmth and physical presence in your absence, I will hug Anthony and our pets and those whoever are sent.
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
P.S. I love her with all my heart, and will do my very best to support her at this difficult time. There are no hard feelings for anyone, and I solemnly love her and her every Twin. They make Carla happy to have someone near to her, to show her her gifts that only they can bring out, and I want my Carla to feel beautiful in her aura, every single day...and have Peace.
