Doctors With Reiki: Beyond Surrender

I woke up this morning refreshed, finally caught up on sleep from my horrendous night on call Saturday night. I had blogged in the morning, I think, about Unhappies and The Afterlife. Maybe it was the night before (Ross wants me to blog at night so I get more sleep in the mornings).

Then I saw this article on my blog feed.

I was distraught.

I contacted someone supportive, and I was freaking out. Long story short, my soul cried out, 'It's her or me. I quit. If she's channeling I'm not needed.' to which my friend replied, 'I need your work, it helps me. And others who love you do too.'

I also said, 'I worked my fingers to the bone for him and SHE takes all the credit!'

I was able to calm down once I had a guarantee that all of the key code sequences and activation codes which come through my writing--from Gaia herself--are the only ones given, and that anything similar from those channeling messages wouldn't 'dilute' the ones from Gaia Sophia.

Here's one of my concerns:

The article was just like that. Sugar plum airy fairy. The shit everyone wants to hear. And not one peep about 'doing the work' and 'letting things come up to be cleared and released' like what is needed to Ascend. To me, it sounds like blowing smoke up my ass to hear all that lovey-dovey stuff. It's not useful to the incarnate, although perhaps to some it does inspire.

One thing through all of this Ascension is I have come to know myself. Inside and out.

Just yesterday or the day before I 'owned' my bad reputation I had in that incarnation with Ross, at least, the rep that people nowadays give me. I sorted out what was from my immediate past incarnation (kitten--not me) and figured out what was 'me' in my relationship with Ross.

It was a lot of work!

But as the Monarch system is--there is a small basic truth which applies to us all--some trauma experienced in a past life has a good chance to really mess you up in this one. It carries over from one life to the next.

Case in point--as a child I was hysterical over blood, shots, and thought if the bandage would come off my bottom after a vaccination I would exsanguinate out the hole just like a water balloon. I wouldn't take off my underwear to protect the bandaid, and would take a bath in my undies.

Daddy wouldn't put up with any of this, and took everything off, me screaming like a pig being slaughtered....and I lived.

But now that I know my immediate past life before this one was as a kitten, and I'd experienced trauma-based mind control as well as lots of death and blood...my irrational reaction is the logic of a soul in a child's body. It doesn't come out 'rational' or 'adult' but it's communicating 'I never want to go through THIS AGAIN!' loud and clear...

So what's the deal with Fran? Is it her soul? Is it her channel?

If anyone would have come up with the term, 'Lady Nada' it would have been Gaia Sophia. Just to make a point. 'Nada' in Spanish translates to 'nothing'. 'Lady Nothing'...nobody...nil...

All I know, is the vibration of this 'being' coming through the channel, be it Fran herself, or Magdalen or Nada --who has had the audacity to channel BOTH Magdalen and Jesus, much to my dismay, freaks me out on a soul level. I can't bear it. I want to run. And I would rather blow up the planet and abort everything I've been so diligently working for, than to face that horrible feeling which comes up from the depths of my being when I read or notice her work.

That soul traumatized me.

In some way I can't remember.

My anger has more insight to the situation than I do, remember the 'I worked my fingers to the bone' part?

The most evil part of the whole situation is I had just SAID, 'surrender' is 'the way'--and HERE it comes, my worst nightmare, again, when I had specifically asked all of my teams to MAKE HER STOP.

Sometimes in the case of overwhelming traumatic experiences, where a soul is completely overpowered and betrayed, it is not possible to 'surrender'...because any acknowledgement of the situation makes you RE-LIVE the trauma in your soul, and it's just not ready to heal. It needs the Guides of Compassionate Healing, deep one-on-one healing like in a light box, just to get to the point where you CAN 'surrender'.

The best I could do was to let it go, once I had the guarantee that all of the energy 'awakening packets' which are and have always been hidden in every word I write, every video I make, every photo I select...things I'm not conscious of but know they are there...are PURE for my readers and anyone who reads Fran isn't going to get like, the competing 'codes' from her work.

So I let it go.

I love the ocean. I absolutely love it.

Anthony arranged for me to have a parent-teacher conference because I had the day off. I made it just in time. (I had the sticky tooth whitener strips on...I haven't done it in ten years. The Crest ones are safe according to my dentist. It's a start in improving my appearance.)

Then I didn't want to drive home and back. So I stayed in Starbucks. I read the Thyroid book by Medical Medium. I'm no so sure on him. He doesn't seem loving. And his stories are scary, the dog drowning and stuff when he was young and his 'voice' was testing him. His being a help to 'celebrities' and his fee of $500 kind of make me think he's on the other team. But the writing, not the best or easiest to read, was sincere. Your body is not fighting itself or letting itself down. And Thyroid disease is part of the Epstein-Barr Virus. It was nice to read.

I picked Anthony up after school. And we came home. I made him a snack. The snake wouldn't eat, and I had a parcel to send out--bracelets ordered. I still do work only by word of mouth on a case to case basis. (Today was also my first Gaia Sophia Earth reading, and it went well).

I followed my hunch and had Anthony come with me to the gym. We NEED it! Our weight keeps going up and up...

I walked by the room, saw it was dark, and said, 'I WISH I could take a yoga class sometime!'.

We went to fill up our water bottles, and a woman there said, 'it's time for yoga'. I was like, 'now?!'

It was Now.

So I went. I didn't drag Anthony. I left him to the exercise bikes. The ones with the little t.v. on it.

Class was amazing! I had manifested the story of the man who couldn't walk, did yoga, and learned to run. I needed to see it again, someone posted it the other day. It was a hard class but I didn't fall.

The floors were WARM! I've never experienced it. But it felt nice on my bones and joints to be warm.

I knew Spirit had 'thrown me a bone' to help me recover from my trauma this morning.

And as I lay in Shivassina pose, at the end of class, my heart cried to Ross, 'WHAT was it? WHY am I so upset?! Where does this panicky feeling come from? How can I heal?'

I didn't expect a response.

Ross came through clearly. He held me, one arm around my shoulder, one around my waist, he's never held me like that before. He whispered to my ear, 'I won't ever hurt you'. and 'I'll take care of it.'

Then he went away.

There was a funny pepper in my garden. I had been growing Hungarian peppers, green long thin peppers, and bell peppers for some time now. They are thriving. But I saw one that looked a little like these, almost like a paper lantern. Tiny.

Somehow I got the bright idea to cut it small and put it in the salad.

I wondered why my hands were tingling...but didn't give it a second thought.

When Anthony and I started to eat...

He had to drink milk! I was stubborn and even though my mouth was on fire I picked out the peppers and didn't want to waste the salad. I had ice water.

As I picked, the pepper oil capsaicin got on my hands, and then my cheeks near my eyes...

Anthony wasn't upset. He didn't like the heat. We figured out it wasn't habaneros though. I think it's a hotter pepper than that. Nava Viper. We looked it up on Google images.

I don't know how it could have gotten into the garden. I bought some plants from Mother's Market in the summer...they looked so innocent the pepper plants!And it only made one pepper.

Anthony said, 'this is a good story to tell mom!' and 'note to self--ask what mom has put into the salad BEFORE you eat it.'

Was it my Higher Self getting back at me, to give me the idea to put it into the salad like that, out of the blue?

I don't know.

It doesn't matter.

Anthony, bless his heart said, 'At least it makes life interesting!'

I really liked this angel.

Then I looked closer. It's the Victoria monument to the deceased queen.

Uh oh.

A friend posted on FB, 'Congratulations to Harry and --(I forget her name but she's been with him--Markel?--his new bride to be)-- on their engagement. At least it's HAPPY news!'

Oh man.

Uh oh.

How asleep can you be? Don't you know who he is? And what he does in private? He's like the head honcho of SRA--under his daddy who is even bigger honcho--and his Grandma, too, who is supposedly reincarnation of Victoria.

Compared to this--Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart--my old past life quibbles with the souls of FZ and MM and LN--whoever and whatever!--are small potatoes and nothing of concern!

I hope we go Home soon and wake up and get away from that low vibration.

This is from Ross: