Once you get to a point where you are challenging yourself, and raising your confidence by routinely meeting the challenges which you meet, the next step is to move on -- all the while continuing your own growth and progress--and encourage others.
This fosters an energetic presence, a guidance and that is how you have your affect on others.
There are some, who, perhaps, you meet in the course of your day, and you get to know them. Sometimes, knowing their life and asking questions helps them to open up and grow in trust of your affection and friendship for them. When is your wife starting medical school? Does she have a place to live? I asked a tech recently in the late hours as we were waiting for our case to begin and setting up. (She is going out of state in the summer to attend the school she got in.)
He was caught off guard, but happy to have someone show interest in him and his family.
Ways to express this kind of loving support and friendship are:
- telling someone you believe in them
- sharing your feelings of being proud of them
- getting joyful when they have something to celebrate and really celebrating with them
- when someone has troubles, communicate you understand what they are confiding in you, that it's difficult, and you believe with all your heart they have a good head on their shoulders and will find a way to solve their problems.
Then there's the Carla approach.
Anthony is learning how to drive a stick shift (manual transmission).
A friend had mentioned a Korean BBQ place that was a drive away from our home. I asked Anthony if he wanted to drive the car with the stick shift to get us there?
He jumped at the chance!
This was late in the day. I knew the sunset would happen and we would be driving back in the dark.
I deliberately wore my beautiful shoes from Zurich, sandals, that wouldn't allow me to drive.
One way or another we would get there and back!
He didn't realize we had 'crossed the Rubicon'--there was no turning back.
What happened was that the darkness, and the figuring out of night driving, actually helped him to better hear the noise of the engine, and to listen to when it was time to change the gear up or down depending on the RPM.
Was it jumpy? Yes.
Did he stall at a light going up a hill on a street that drivers drive as fast as a freeway? Yes.
Were my stress levels through the roof? At times.
But was it worth it, to help him develop this important life skill? Yes. And I told him he did well, it's okay for the stalling and jumpiness--he's learning--but after the one stall there it's not the place to take things less seriously because the drivers are really fast and not expecting to encounter a stall.
I'm growing too as a teacher. It's not easy to teach a skill you do automatically and have done so for years. But yesterday I taught him when I reverse I don't step on the gas. The car just goes when you release the clutch. He had a big 'aha!' moment on that.
This is Life.
Remember, not only do we have the opportunity to be encouragers and teachers here on this earth, it continues after this life, so you might as well consider your development of this skill.
After all, your angels do the same for you across the veil.
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Twins
Ross waves hello and is smiling big. He woke me up and actually my grandfather told me in Sicilian to write, so I did. ciao!
