It seems so long ago since I wrote to you last...I had the day off, and I am most thankful for it. Yesterday I was late to work, hit every traffic light. I'd had insomnia until three in the morning. I wake up at four. But I set a timer so I could sleep in until five thirty.
I had already spent more of the day before telling God, 'I can't keep up. I can't figure out where to go next. I used to have dreams and now all I do is work to spend money on things my family needs without thinking of myself or the future. I need help, God. I can't keep it together much longer.'
The Creator Writings have been a blessing--by the way.
Sure enough, when I was driving my son to school, I said, 'I don't think I can do this much longer, the waking up early, the long days at work, the commute...'
Sure enough, surgeon was mean, the patient had super high blood pressure--enough to cancel the case. And since the surgeon was jumping back and forth between two rooms, I had to wait until nine a.m. to start my day. There were huge gaps too. And I got to close the surgery center by being the last doc to leave the facility for the day at six.
For those of you who know me, I am always watching as an outside observer on the events of my life.
With that morning delay, I was able to call Emory, the New York Society of Anesthesiologists, and the California Society of Anesthesiologists to straighten out my CME's for my reappointment. Spirit was helping me out! The stress levels dropped considerably.
The nurses also noticed a pattern in all of my patients waking up so nicely. I told them this is what happens when you go to conference and listen to what they tell you! (Beers Criteria for Geriatric Patients )
I also will never forget my colleague, a woman, Persian, saying, 'whenever you are in trouble in the morning, CALL ME! or the other Persian mom!'...she was almost angry with me, and I was so thankful for her kindness and her love.
Sometimes it takes a 'bad day' to 'get us what we need'--either way, I was sure glad it was over.
Gaia Portal Deciphering
Everyone shares it! People love to guess!
You might enjoy finding your own significance to it. I have my thoughts...something important WAS completed last night. This I know for sure.
Janus
Junus looks both ways. Yesterday I had an email reminder from my old teacher how it was the one night of a month for Open Practice. Anthony was at his dad, and I could go! I had today off...and I missed it. I missed my old friends, the warmth and nurturing environment, the being with like-minded people.
I wanted to go.
But I had made a promise to attune someone close to me. I had to keep it.
And you know what? In the session, where I was a 'teacher', I found the conversation to be even MORE 'on point' than I ever in a million years would have found back with Anne at her Open Practice Night for her Practicum, where people do card readings and practice Reiki and socialize together.
It was poignant to find I have outgrown my 'roots', and that Spirit stopped me from going to Anne because they wanted me HERE and NOW doing what I do best--one on one spiritual connection, relaxing and laughing the whole time.
This was the last in a series of attunements for a project I have been working on all month. (hint--'Gaia mission nears completion' --shhhhh! ; ) )
Our Goodbye
Today I broke down with the memories of what happened to Ross in our past life together. I told him he didn't deserve it...how I wished it never happened. I asked from my heart, did we have time to say our goodbyes at the end?
He assured me we did.
He explained to me how I am his teacher, and in that life he learned some most valuable lessons through me, and I, in return, have learned more in this life now from him.
It's been hard on me the last few weeks. I see how deeply imprinted the kitten programming from my immediate past incarnation is on my soul, and so many things I think are 'me' are really old, leftover residues from 'that life' I lived so long ago. Ross and been patient and kind and accepting and encouraging of me through everything...I appreciate it so much.
If I could, I would just zip past the next few days...and skip it. But I can't.
Instead, Ross cheered me and Anthony up.
Earlier he told me to buy us ice cream. Anthony was in the car after school, and asked, 'what should we do? But a carton? Go somewhere?' and I didn't know either. Right then, ahead of us, was a huge truck for Ruby's Diner. Anthony and I asked each other, 'You think this is Ross's suggestion?' Anthony said, 'Mom? How many times do you EVER see a huge Ruby's truck?'--he was right--NEVER!
So we went. And I noticed a big public notice of change of ownership on the window. Anthony went and looked. Actually, Ross told him to get a dollar from me and buy a gum ball. It was near the window with the sign. And on the first try, with one quarter, he got a red gum ball--and WON a FREE root beer float! (he had been trying for years and never won it)
The sign had been posted today.
I sense Ross knew of the changes, and wanted Anthony and I to enjoy one last meal at this place where we have gone since he was little. It's been a while since we last went, but the trains were running on the track up by the ceiling same as ever, and we were content. I had a vanilla shake...Ross wanted me to finish it.
That is how loving and kind a man Ross is.
Tonight, he wanted me to write on my laptop. You know, I love it. I still have Mavericks on it--I can pull up my own photos easily for the blog. At the yosemite versions, I can't. blogger can't talk to the photo part. I have to put them on my desktop then import them in. ..He wanted me to sit where Anthony can see me in the living room, where he was working with his laptop.
I feel like I am able to enjoy the family time I took for granted every night while I grew up...as an anesthesiologist, nights like those are rare. I work late, we eat dinner out, we rush to get ready for bed.
Today was a good day. I got most of my things done. And I also cleared out three boxes of things that had been sitting around. The funniest thing were the photos, the memories, the old bill summary from Kona Village--the best vacation of my life, and Anthony's. Life is GOOD! For all the misery, I saw the shining light from my family and friends...the cards for Anthony's birthday and baptism...the letters to the lawyer from my next door neighbor in support of me in the child custody lawsuit...I kept the binder with the notes as a testament to how strong I am, how resilient. My lawyer used to have HIS lawyer as a partner, and she used to have her babysit for her. They were close! And my lawyer wanted me to write lunesta sleeping pill prescription for her!!! for free! Since my son's life was in question, his well-being, I wrote it! For years! It's all past, fortunately. But I wanted it to keep because I lived it, and I survived it.
Another thing I found in that area, were some of my old notes from Blessed Mother. From 1992 to 2010 she wrote me almost every day, with automatic writing. And sure enough, what she said in 2008 was just as true about me as it is today, only then I couldn't understand it. I couldn't understand her references were to my Beloved, who is disincarnate, and how I will experience so much joy and love...I couldn't understand it when I wrote it, but now I do...
Ross
I haven't written. Carla has been busy with her attunements, face to face, online. Along with her many things she does for me and also doesn't mention...I appreciate where she is at in her development and growth.
I adore talking to Anthony, and making him smile with an ice cream--I paid! (he is very pleased with it--ed)
Carla is moving along and has hope. She spoke from her heart with her sister--'I don't think I can keep this up'...it was a first for Carla to talk openly like this with her. Her sister's perspective is that it is much the same for her and for everyone...life is like that...and Carla was giving loving support to keep going on her path.
Someone sent a gift to her from Merlin. And Carla knew it was for real because immediately after opening the small gift at the post office (she had been seeing images of frogs for days ahead too--one is a toy one--ed)--she saw a bumper sticker high on a truck window that said, 'The magic is in the hole'...
All of us are working with Carla on her strength, her ability to withstand the demands that are placed upon her.
And Carla is actively seeking help--both from us, and her sister, and also, in her heart-to-heart with her friend last night during the attunement she had promised.
It is okay to ask help.
It is okay to get to the point where spirit must guide you into a situation where they practically pick up the phone and dial for you.
It is not worth it to panic, and Carla, in her own way, with her misery and dread, had panicked silently for days before seeking help and assistance.
Now it is improved.
Carla is most thankful for today's Creator Writings https://thecreatorwritings.wordpress.com/2016/03/23/as-you-change/.
I wish to thank you Jennifer for your service to my wife with all of your messages, which are impeccable and perfectly timed for her optimum growth and development. This one was key in getting Carla 'unstuck'. You can imagine the amount of dedication and resources and time Carla has spent in 'being a doctor'...it is hard to reconcile the not wanting to experience lack of sleep, or the daily 'grind'--with having to support herself and her family---with wanting to be Spiritual and experience that. Your words are pearls wrapped in silver that rest in a bed of gold for Carla.
For this I, Ross, thank you for succinctly doing what could not be communicated any other way.
For all of you who follow us, you know what to do. For those attuned, Carla invites you to make the symbols daily, for the rest of your lives. Carla, state what was communicated to you earlier today. it is okay for everyone to hear it.
C: I was told that from here on out, no matter where I go, I am anchoring and tacking together Heaven on earth.
(Ross puts his palms up and smiles as if to say, 'what's that?'--ed)
C: the matrix of the Illusion is in synchronization with the matrix from Heaven in my immediate vicinity of my person. And after I leave, it stays. It's like I'm a glue gun, tacking two pieces of gauze together everywhere I go, except I'm not hot and won't burn any fingers or make a mess. It's effortless, and no one can tell what is happening, and never needs to know. The story lines are perfectly meshed.
R: and is it just you?
C: no, the others who I have been working with will come up in energy and do the same thing also, as long as they keep up with their daily use of the symbols.
R: and what does that mean?
C: I'm coming home?
R: ( he claps and smiles-ed-and I understand him with my mind as he is saying, 'this is my most powerful lesson'--I'm not sure if it's him teaching me, or me teaching you, or what, to be honest--ed)
(clap! clap!--ed)
Aloha and mahalos,
namaste,
peace,
Ross and Carla
The Twins
