See One, Do One, Teach One

 

I have unspoken prayers. One of them is why am I the way I am? Why is it so difficult for me to throw things away? Why are my living spaces so cluttered? I know I work full time. I know I don't have 'systems' in place. There is a lot of back log to go through, and a lot of memories to unpack. If I had to pick a time where I simply gave up, it was when my mother passed. The first wave of giving up was before she passed and she entrusted me with her treasures (junk). Then when the whole estate thing happened, I had to get a lot of my own things back from her home. That was tough. 

When I first moved in to this house, it was very nice because I was living here, but the bulk of my belongings were at the old house! From March to May I was bringing over more, and more. Eventually the realtor hired his son for a day to help us bring the last things over. There had been a moving truck Mid March but there were lots of  little things.

I've taken time off, now that Anthony is away at school. I've worked maybe two weeks or three weeks a month. I've made some headway, but the termite tenting really set me back. 

For Christmas, I was a little embarrassed. Anthony gave me a beautiful new espresso machine. It's so elegant. And I had to clear out so much stuff to make room for it. The old one was not very dependable. It had been so long since I had made espresso or latte that I saw a little mold growing in the water tank of the old one. 

Something happened on Christmas Eve that was an answer to my prayers. I had wanted to go to Souplantation restaurant. Anthony had a roommate near the restaurant which is about an hour away from where we live. We invited the roommate.

When we dropped off the roommate, we had a chance to go inside their home and see their garden.

Immediately, I was struck by the home's appearance. It had fruit trees in the front yard. And inside, every horizontal surface was packed with items. Not junk. Useful things. Clean things. But ready just in case--for example, saved shopping bags and containers.  It was everywhere except the dining table. The home was spacious, large, there was a Christmas tree. 

In the back yard you were overwhelmed with the skills of a master gardener! A gazebo, supports for the plants, seedlings coming up in the dirt, and containers of new baby plants all over the concrete under the patio. I enjoy speaking 'gardening'--a language of love taught to me by my grandparents. My grandfather was the orchard specialist by training. But there were some trees I had never seen and was not able to identify.

The grandmother is the gardener.

She is so excited and generous! She picked for us a gallon zip lock of kumquats after we enjoyed tasting some. She gave us sugar cane, sugar cane starter plants, two loquat saplings, a grape bush starter, and three dragon fruit starters. Plus seeds! tomato seeds, two kinds, and greens. 

I saw the small silver cross on her neck.

I put two and two together.

Back in her home country where she had been a farmer, her beliefs would have led to persecution. And back where she was from, the farmers often did not get the fruits of their labor. She was old enough to have lived through war, several of them, and undoubtedly experienced hunger. 

Here, in the United States, she took full advantage of the opportunity of bare land. To grow things to eat. Not flowers, not landscaping...FOOD.  Anthony's roommate said that growing up they rarely had to go to the store to purchase produce. They always had what they needed. 

And I understood.

Complex trauma with hunger manifests itself in the two patterns I had observed in the grandmother: the packed surfaces, and the garden.  The same as me.

I experienced war indirectly--the stories of my mother about their hunger and the suffering of war in Sicily , as well as the suffering of my grandfather as a soldier (he had to drink his own urine, there was no water. You let it sit overnight, it separated, and you skim off the top and drink the rest). There were my earliest memories, these stories. Then along the way, I accumulated my own complex trauma (grape when I was four). 

When God answers a prayer, you are able to move forward. Your things holding you back do not hold you back any more.

Today, I threw out not only the old espresso machine, I threw out two pairs of boots that had the soles come off them. One was my comfortable snowboarding boots I wore as snow boots to New York. The other were my faux UGGS I got from Target long ago that I wore to breakfast yesterday. I could tell you how the shoes unglued--both times I was sitting at high top tables on barstools, my feet couldn't touch the ground, and I braced myself on the horizontal part of the chair.  Today I threw out boxes I didn't need. And even dug out some photo albums of my sisters I had been keeping for her here. It was nice to look through them. I saw my medical school graduation.  

I lost a lot of weight back then by walking in the park across the street every day. I did it to relieve stress actually, not to lose weight. So today, I put my phone in my pocket, set the timer, and walked for thirty minutes. It felt so good to be doing something like that!

Even though my mom yelled at me,  a lot, growing up, and I couldn't yell back, ever...Even though my own body was violated at a very young age and I was told to keep it a secret...Even though being a single mom was traumatic enough (being abandoned in pregnancy, then going through custody proceedings, and the every other weekend trauma)...Even though being in healthcare is also really hard on your body/mind/emotions/soul....I am learning that my time is my own. And how I see things is okay to make decisions on how I run my home. There is a lot to throw away. I also threw away my beloved leather Roller Derby white roller skates with the yellow wheels. I could fit my feet in them. But like my wise neurosurgeon once remarked on a colleague who died in a motorcycle accident as a senior--there comes a time where our reflexes slow and we must stop certain activities. I said goodbye to them. Yes, on eBay they are worth about forty dollars, but shipping is also about that much. It's not worth the effort.

Do I feel lighter?

Yes.

I was always afraid of being yelled at for doing something wrong. Or for not having the ability to replace something if I got rid of it. This is the philosophy of lack.

Lack is not a philosophy of Heaven.

And even though we experience LACK, Creator was really firm with me about the boots. 'You have a pair of rain boots that fit and you can use them in rain or snow'. And also, Creator has a really nice pair of snow boots waiting for me. Not sure when I am supposed to get them. But they are ready. If I held on to my ones (I had bought the glue!) I would not have had the opening to receive the new ones.

I'm going to go make a meat loaf. One of my comfort foods. 

Be sure to keep your eyes open for when Creator guides you through the answers to your unspoken prayers, too!

Ross

Trauma takes a long time to heal. Often the more usual course is through multiple lifetimes. Your soul is important, both for you and your life experience, and for your interaction with others on a soul level. This is more than replying to social media. This is the work of the heart.  I never grow tired of it.

For my trauma, I needed both time in nature and lots of happy memories, time to heal, and actual teams of expert healers to guide me on my path back in order to reconnect with those I had neglected in my own life walk. 

Everything happens for the betterment of us as a human!

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Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

Tales From the End of the Road: The Hardships

 

It's that time of year again...and what I would like to share is what I notice. Each of us has our hardships. But when you take the time to listen to another, you are humbled, and give thanks for what it is you have.

Someone I've worked with who had good skills, marketable skills, was talking with me recently. For me, my hardship in the area of finances, is that my income has really changed , so much that I needed to find better work with more steady payment. Finances are tight. And I am careful for eating at restaurants. On my business trips I cringed at how expensive airfare and hotel have become. I ended up skimping on food expenses and cutting back everywhere possible to save money. But nothing prepared me for the financial situation of this person...

They are needing to look for a new place to live. They can't make the rent payments. Already they are living in a more affordable part of the state, and have roommates. There is no money. Not enough to pay for car insurance. It's not good. Like with my work, their work gets paid after the fact, after the work is done. But when people get upset with the pace of the project, they cancel and then there is no payment for the work already done or the materials already used. 

I picked up that some people take advantage of the situation, and also,I was told that they threaten to write bad reviews on the social media marketplace. 

Where is your hardship?

Is it time? Are you busy going to work and trying to make ends meet? There is little time for family, for exercise, for fun? Does the raising of small children take most of your energy in your day?

Is it health? Are you constantly going from one doctor to the next trying to find out what is going wrong with you? To find relief? Have you been given a diagnosis that is serious and life-changing? Are the little changes over time starting to add up?

Is it friendship? Are you lonely? Are your friends distant? Do you get the feeling that they could get along just fine without you? Or is it expensive going out and splitting the bill so you worry?

Is it romance? Do you feel like life has just passed you by? That the love of your life is never going to happen? Or if you are in a committed relationship, is there abuse, neglect, or betrayal? Have your dreams of your golden years vanished because of a 'grey divorce'?

As we head into the Holiday Season's final celebrations, you can be certain that in some way, every single one of us experiences 'lack' in a significant area of our life. It is something you have always on your mind, and it is hard to stop thinking about it.

God isn't stupid. 

God knows the score.

God knows we are living in times where all the life is being choked out of us--financially, health, mentally, intellectually, spiritually...and being choked out of Earth and her delicate ecosystems. There is organized, controlled chaos--of a spiritual nature at the root. Something is trying to control and destroy Creation itself!

I know it is hard to take your lumps. It is hard for me too. The ability to keep going sometimes needs a lot of prayer to make it happen. 

Don't feel like you are alone. 

Don't feel like this is happening for no reason.

You are love Incarnate.

And even though certain ancient schools may tremble at the realization that nothing else is real except for LOVE, and those followers are doing everything in their power to stomp out and destroy Love...and all of Divine Creation...those efforts are doomed from the start.

If you are struggling and do not know where to turn, remember there is an Endless Source of Love, you are a rightful part of this Love, and that is your Home. You can ask for energy, you can ask for sustenance, you can ask for Divine Guidance that is so CLEAR there is obvious clues in your path...this is your Birth Right. 

You are LOVED. 

If it makes you feel any better, even though things are not the greatest, there are plenty of people who are facing their challenges too. For some, you might be able to help them. Not to your own detriment! But to find ways to help. 

Remember your Gifts. These are your Divine Talents that were also your Birth Right. It might be making others laugh. It might be helping soothe others. My voice helps soothe many people I have been told. Perhaps it is dressing nicely? Or helping others to find their way? So many talents and your hearts are such blessings to all of us!

Give thanks for what in your life is good.

Today I gave thanks that I did not have to drive to or from work in the rain. The more thankful you are, the more your natural spiritual strengths can grow. 

Reiki is one of the most important gifts we can share.  Let us be thankful for this too.

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Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

Merry Christmas we wish you! in 2025! And all the best in 2026!

Tales from the End of the Road: I Understand It Now

Yesterday I went to a popular theme park in the area. You probably know what one I was at.

I was on an attraction, the Enchanted Tiki Room. It is one of my favorites. I love the colors, the animals, the tikis that sing.

I realized during the presentation--years ago--that there is something 'parallel' to the ceremonies of certain 'builders'  clubs...it's the presentation of the male parrots first, then the ladies. I don't know how to explain it exactly because what happened yesterday is a gestalt. Sudden understanding overwhelms you.

The dark ones are at war with the forces of Life itself. 

They hate Creator so much that they twist and pervert and lie without any shame whatsoever against God's plan, God's rules, God's creation.  Yesterday I understood how dark the darkness is, filled with hate and anger against Creator and everything divine.

And since the little ones are made in the image of the parents, and new to us from Heaven, then the little ones are hurt the most. Not because there is something against the little ones. It is the best and easiest way to cause pain to Creator. 

Respect life in all of its stages.

Yesterday I was standing in line for a salad. To my right was a woman and her mom, her mom was using a walker. They were trying to decide what to get. The mom said a big salad. To share. I saw one chicken plate on their shared tray. Eventually they bought two small salads. The woman was explaining a lot to the mom, and trying to get the mom to decide what she wanted. She was patient, and I could tell the daughter does this a lot, over everything.  That is respect for life, for the aged. 

I respect that no matter how long those unhappy ones who 'run the show' have been at war against Creator and Creation, Creation still keeps on going. With the plants and the animals and the people, with the oceans and the fish in the sea...with caring, compassion and kindness. 

Look for Life around you. Cherish it. And protect it from those who wish it harm.

Ross

Carla isn't expecting you to experience the same gestalt that she had yesterday just from reading her words. Carla has consumed a lot of content on media over decades, and only yesterday the conditions were right for her, to, in her own way, understand.

Please know that the process that is right for you is being arranged, and to be on the lookout for it when it happens. When it does you too will know and understand the placements in this spiritual battle, and why you are on the side that you are on, and what purpose it serves that you are on it.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

 

What Point of View?

 

Yesterday I wrote of gratitude and blessings. And also of Divine Protection.

Something happened last night. An upsetting thing. But another has said perhaps on the whole it was a blessing in disguise? Or perhaps I manifested it? Or even more perhaps, Ross and my teams made it happen?

Our house was egged. This was the second time. The first was July 18, 2024. This is a high-school thing. And since Anthony has long since graduated I was concerned about the motive and why our house would be targeted. Especially since last night was the end of the Thanksgiving break...

I have been on high alert, high stress for quite some time now, regarding the house. There were a lot of repairs, expensive ones, that needed to be done to the outside of the house over the past year. Just the other day I breathed a huge sigh of relief thinking that the episode that started with the egging in 2024 was over. Anthony is almost graduated from college. At the time I bought a power washer after our neighbor loaned us theirs to clean the mess. But I didn't know how to find or install additional cameras. 

Did thinking of the egging trigger a blip in the Universe, to manifest the egging because if we think of it then it happens?

I don't know. I sure hope not.

But, Anthony had been away at school due to finals being soon. He had spent Thanksgiving away with his father, who lives closer. I had found some wonderful blueberry brioche on the discount shelf and been enjoying them. I'd wanted him to enjoy them too. I missed him. 

Then, last night, for dinner, I had eggs and waffles, breakfast for dinner!

I heard the noises. I looked out the window after being woken up. I couldn't see anything or any car or any person. But I called Anthony, thankfully he was up. 

He offered to drive down and I said no, don't worry, keep up with your studies I will take care of it in the morning. 

Instead he had the sheriffs come check on the damage and console me. They said since there's no permanent damage it's only an incident. They laughed because it appeared that the offenders had thrown sandwiches in addition to eggs. It was very peculiar. They suggested new security cameras and said where to install them. I accepted their offer to do checks on the place when they are in the area. 

And Anthony drove to help. In the middle of the night we were assembling that pressure washer, and getting the eggs, the slices of American cheese, and the cheesecake off my car and the house. We worked well as a team and quickly the evidence was gone after we had filmed it.

Lo and behold, today, I served the blueberry brioche to my son at a late breakfast. Then we went to Costco and found the cameras. In addition, Anthony found his Christmas gift (he's going to use it for finals), and I found a tree, actually two, one in a pot and one just a mini tree in a stand for twenty-five dollars. I even got a Stitch holiday statue thing. We had lunch at Costco, cheese pizza. 

Then we installed it. Again, it wasn't easy but we worked well as a team.

Was this event an attack?

Was this event a way for me to see how much I am loved and protected?

Was this a blessing in disguise, a way for me to enjoy a little more company with my son?

The people who did it were so angry that eggs flew over the house into the back yard. I felt the anger. I am perplexed why after the first time it would happen again? Anthony thinks he knows who it is. And that these are rich kids who live in the shadow of their older siblings who have no concept of how much damage and trouble their 'fun' causes. 

I do not know the exact meaning of these events.

I do know all I can control is my reaction. And Anthony said it was good how I handled it. It would have been easy to lose my cool. But I didn't. I just helped solve the problem the best I could. 

Ross

Carla had to overcome her fear. Being woken up in the middle of the night is no picnic. Perhaps I might suggest, that for her in this situation it was a little of both? (he gestures with hands and fingers coming together) Sometimes the stars align for the benefit of everyone. Even when things are presented in the less optimal ways.

I want you to remember this next time when sudden unanticipated things happen to you.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple who are in need of some sleep

Reflections

 

This week in the United States we celebrated our holiday we call Thanksgiving. Its origins are from the Pilgrims who were thankful to have survived their first year in the New World.  The First Nations had helped them adapt, for example, teaching them to plant a fish along with a seed for the corn to grow healthy and strong. 

As I sit here, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. 

Gratitude for the way Spirit has protected and provided for us and for our ancestors, including going back to the times of the first Thanksgiving. 

Right now, we are fortunate to have Free Speech, to move freely and travel, and to work where and when we agree to work. There is a Spiritual War going on, and also, in my opinion, I could be wrong, but an 'unrestricted information war' too. It had to have been bad for us to volunteer to be alive here and now in order to help. So, we, for the most part, by going about our lives and being who we are, are helping in ways unseen for the big battles. 

We are incredibly lucky!

Think of those who have been unalived, or imprisoned, for speaking the truth. Think of those who had to escape the country, never to come back, to escape persecution. The list goes on and on, starting with the Christians/clergy in Nigeria, Werner Fullmich (I may have misspelled it), the people with the ostrich farm in Canada, farmers just about everywhere (thank you farmers!), and those nearest and dearest to my heart, the ones who have escaped the 'system'.  These people are examples of courage in the highest degree.

I've had two not so great marriages, and also, a baby daddy situation with a person who I did not marry. We went through the custody and that was hard. I watch on Instagram a person 'That Was Abuse' who was in an abusive relationship for many years, and found a way to leave. She shares so much valuable information. There is another personality/advice person, I won't say the name, but he totally laughs at 'avoidant attachment theory'. He says, don't hate me I'm only the messenger, but, if you figure out you are with an avoidant--smile, finish your dinner, and then get the heck out of there! Because you don't need to have a relationship with 'satan'/'someone incapable of normal relationships'/'someone selfish and will only look after number one'. 

A lot of us are battling Darkness but it's been so long here on Earth in this society/world structure that the Darkness can seem 'normal'.  Our spouses, our coworkers, our loved ones, our neighbors, can be heavily influenced by not the best spiritual influences.  There can be habits, compulsions, addictions, mental health concerns as well as active disease that can be really hard for us to live with. Yet, we go on. We survive. We overcome. And for this incredible blessing, take a moment to be thankful.  

Spirit has our back, whether we are actively aware of it or not. 

Gratitude can also be for the little blessings, the 'glimmers', the joys like our daily routine, a flower that bloomed (my narcissus just blossomed, it blooms in December here and always reminds me of my mother), a special discount at the store, or the freedom to enjoy breakfast for dinner!

Ross

Carla has felt me near/closer to her. I sense her unspoken gratitude in this. Our souls are connected, as are many of us who are on the Other Side and Incarnate. These connections never go away, never cease, never are extinguished. 

They only improve.

And I am thankful for this.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Twins who are half incarnate and half on the Other Side (he laughs and smiles)

Failure is Success in Progress!

 

I am trying new things with my work.  I said 'no' to a work environment that did not respect me--partly because of my being unable to accept the good with the bad like a neurotypical anesthesiologist.  When my income was denied due to a mix-up, it was war because they made me prove through the people who mixed up that they mixed up. Not just my bank statement and my saying they mixed up. It was a ten-thousand dollar amount. After my doing two years of clerical work forming the corporation and getting contracts for them for free. 

Trust goes both ways.

I found out yesterday, talking with the accountant for the group, that the lost money I had been trying to ring the alarm about for months, totaled to nine thousand dollars. What happened was that checks written by United Health were on a pale green typical check paper. But the BMO lockbox which deposited the checks, the safety feature deeper into the lockbox system, kicked the check out for 'being unreadable'. They took a horrible unreadable photocopy of the check, and sent that in a notice to our group that money was being taken out of the account.  It was never deposited back. 

Overworked, I asked a colleague who was good at talking with that insurance company to approach them. I gave all the copies of the letters. 

He just shrugged it off. He pressed me for the numbers on the checks and the amounts that were not there. He could have looked them up. On the bank statements (where the accountant found them). He just is a new father and has other priorities. 

Going back to the main OR was fantastic! I got a new locker in the newly-opened women's locker room (these are very scarce things if you do anesthesia especially in outpatient). I had two backup calls. And a bonus Wednesday off! 

However this is half-time.

This week I gave to a sister outpatient anesthesia group. I live by the new facility they got the contract for. I had been hoping they had gotten all three open contracts--GI center, under the hospital outpatient, and this freestanding one. Well, I had to go for a meeting on Saturday about blocks. But I could only attend half of it, I had an appointment. The guy was good with blocks but wasted an hour on 'sterile technique' and I'm trained in surgery, I know how to put a sleeve on a probe. 

My first day was awful.  I couldn't have made more mistakes. The anesthesia machine looks like ours with the electronic flowmeters, but they have old-school knobs in a place where I had to have someone point them out to me. This facility, to save time, skips pre-op assessment. There's a corner of the anesthesia record where you check a box that says 'no change from H and P'.  I've never seen that done anywhere in my many many years of providing anesthesia care.  The nurses were rushing me. I couldn't eat. I barely got one glass of water between cases. My blood sugar plummeted by the end of the day. Surgeon was upset, he went behind my back and asked someone else to put in blocks on my two patients. He took money away from me, and also, showed disrespect. One patient had blood pressure drop to forty ('he's moving' they complained and I deepened him). Another had bit the LMA so hard no air could pass, then had Largyngospasm. Desaturated bad but I got them back. 

I was nervous to go back the next day. 

I was supposed to have three cases but I ended up with one because the other two cases moved rooms.

What I realized is this is an orthopedic surgery center. Most orthopedic surgeons do not appreciate medical complexity--especially if it can stop a case from moving forward. That explains the little check box. They want the cases done as fast as possible and to get out of there. 

The new anesthesia group got the contract by promising speed. And they commented that my old outpatient surgery center their 'fast' wasn't really that 'fast' was it?

Some things are not a good fit. And like dating, you just move on. I didn't expect anything.

But then there was an emergency. They needed me in a little strip mall surgery center. They were starting to do spine cases in a place that usually does plastics. I've worked at places like that before. The first time it was plastics and the scrub tech was suturing (outside the scope of practice) and I got a credit card stolen from my wallet. But they paid me at the end of the case. The second time, same group in a different location, and I never got paid. No matter how much I asked. I ended up threatening small claims court, then I got the check. 

It was awkward with the team all of us never having met or worked before together. The neuromonitoring tech was very nice. Even though it was a little scary to be just me there, and no other anesthesiologists, the patients were super nice. And the surgeon made a judgement call that was for patient safety. Would I go back? I don't know. But it was better than the orthopedic place. And from what I hear from my colleagues, they get paid. It's by mail or by Venmo.  Time will tell.

There's this thick, juicy space that is between what you have, and what you are going to have next, that is wonderful. Even failure is good because not everything is meant for us!  Yesterday and today I am home and I LOVE IT!

Bunny got a nice grooming and bath, I enjoy caring for her. I picked the last apples from the tree. I went to a pizza place for their lunch buffet and the place was filled with Junior High students who went there at the end of the day. They were loud and awkward and running around. They had bought pizza and shared. I would never seen kids this age--mine is too old now. So it was a slice of life adventure and a good salad with some slices of pizza. 

It is okay to fail. 

Failure is a part of life.

And when something as important as your happiness and work are 'moving around' it is okay to 'take the best and leave the rest'. These things take time. And keep at it. Don't settle. Life is too short. Oddly enough, my hospital gig looks better and better all the time. Newer machines and nicer colleagues. They are getting along much better now than when I left.

I'm switching gears. I believe there is a slow release of certain knowledge about what goes on behind the illusion of how this world is run. My first friend ever, a conservative in Texas, posted a video from a survivor. Another friend from the block, construed the video as 'oh yes that's Bubba' (in reference to another video where a DJT 'blows' someone with the nickname Bubba'). The first friend said if all you can get from that video is Bubba then that is sad for you.  She posted a meme that said for a huge portion of the population their whole personality--a big part of it--involves hating DJT. 

I took the red pill ages ago. This is nothing new. For me, I just commented one word, frazzz=-llll---odrip.

They won't take the bait I'm sure.

But Roseanne Barr posted a video. She said things are going great and give it a few days. But her head was shaking 'no' the whole time, and she touched her finger to her nose (a clue of lying). I admire her for speaking up the times she has. And I am curious what she is alluding to. I suspect the soft disclosure is what is happening, and it is so soft people do not realize what it actually is. 

I saw a video from the deceased VG, the 'unstoppable' thing she set up after her murder as plan B. It was fascinating too.

So, hopefully in a short time, we will arrive at something that has been planned since the early sixties and seventies by the good guys in the military. 

God speed. And pray for our world to be liberated from the liars.

That is enough for today.

Ross

How bad is bad?

How awful does evil need to get before everyone notices it?

That is a powerful question.

There is a 'king of this world' who is in charge of it. According to the book of Revelation he is going away for a thousand years, will get a 'brief time out' and then go away forever.

Carla saw a video from a woman who claimed that we are in that 'brief time out'--where the Dark One reigns. She asserts in the video that the stuff in Revelation happened a long time ago. 

Which would mean we are closer to full and complete resolution than one might think. 

Carla asked someone she trusts, what do you think about this video?

And the person she trusts, said, 'ask Ross' what he thinks.

(he smiles. What a beautiful smile he has--C)

I am at a loss for words.  

(he strokes his beard as he is thinking deeply)

What is the best possible outcome that could be had with this opportunity?

C: over and done with it forever, and only Heaven's rules forever, everywhere, always

Carla, how did that change?

C:  I understand that Heaven has never lost control, nor will it ever, and that all that conflict is a lie, and that even though there are a bunch of lies, everywhere, and evil everywhere you look--like evil like in the Sodom and Gomorrah levels described evil--it is just a small 'blip' in the grand scheme of things. And even though the 'soft disclosure' and other things are harbingers of what is to come, even that is tiny in comparison to the wonder of Creation. And the wonder of Creation, if we so choose to tap into it, can be with us Here and Now, in our hearts, and nothing can ever take it away or separate us from Source. 

R:  THAT IS THE answer I would give your friend.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple who is Happy

On Faith and Trust

 

Things have been 'moving around', and lately I have been seeing the 'bigger picture of things'.

One of the most striking realizations is that everything tends to work out for the best. Once you decide on a course of action, it is like dominos falling against one another, boom! boom! boom! from the Universe.  I haven't had that experience since deciding to go to Medical School and quitting my work in corporate industry. 

Recently, it seems as if I am on the right track.  My energy feels brighter. Especially since mid-August, the life circumstances are improving. Today I finally got paid for my work in August. The work problems that had been weighing me down are slowly coming to improve.

About the 'bigger picture', well, I do not like the magenta pink aurora borealis. I haven't seen them before, only the blue, white and green. So it's strange. Especially that we see them so much further to the south.  I realize the ability to control the weather, and to weaponize it, exists. And the mysteries in the book of Revelation about the sky being on fire and other horrors now have a plausible scientific basis to support them. 

Did you know that a certain Utah based faith fellowship, one member I work with, said that these auroras were a sign of the end times?

Yes! That's extra data points.

I realized that although I do not especially LIKE the way things are heading (under the rule of the Anti you know who)...I can see the much bigger Universe which has checks and balances and control especially outweighs the 'earthly status quo'.  In essence, although I can't control any of it except my reactions, the situation actually is under about as much control as there can be. The forces of good are in alignment and moving forward without hesitation. 

Another thing I 'realized' is that artificial intelligence  and control of information cannot override our connection to Source. Our 'inner knowing'.  The 'false'  sure is trying to be 'sexy' and incorporate itself into our lives! But in response, others are coming up with things like the movement to 'appstaining', a play on the word to abstain or 'go without' to take a break from digital activities for a bit, and to open up to more natural forms of interaction. 

Did I do 'work' on my recent travels? Yes. I had wanted to stay home, actually. Spirit insisted I go. So I went. I am glad I did, because without listening and following guidance I would not have arrived at Resurrection mindset. 

I would say the 'work' I did globally was more of a 'touch up' than a big thing, though. I never know in advance what is to be asked of me. And when it is asked, I double-check just to make sure.

Keep searching for, and continue doing, what brings you joy, peace, calm, and happiness.  Give yourself time to reflect. If you sense a need to 'change course' and 'redirect', by all means do so. And ask for Divine Creator to help! This life experience is an 'open book test'.

Ross

I am extremely happy and pleased with Carla and her development. Did you know she was hungry for dinner two hours ago? Then she wanted to take a shower and head down to dinner.

What happened? 

She understood she needed to write, make herself a new bracelet and then she could shower. 

But what intervened?

Work.

Her old job was jumping out from the emotional grave like an old horror movie! There was an 'incident' with 'overlapping billing times', and she couldn't scan and save the file. Why? Because the computer storage was full. So she had to figure out how to make room, which is not one of her strengths.

Patiently, and without emotion, Carla took care of those things for an hour. Then she wrote. 

It was not even a blip on her radar, she was calm and focused and committed to completing the tasks.

So now, I am going to help her build her bracelet, and THEN she can go along with her day. With what SHE had been planning to do.

Do not take exception to your role in the Higher Realms while you are incarnate. Stay humble. Do what you are sent to do, both in body and soul. Have patience when the going gets rough and you are tangled in the 'mundane earthly things'. Your calm energy and focus provide US up here with what it takes to get the job done with the BIG big picture, the liberation of Gaia and Her People.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Twins

Tales From The End of the Road: Reboot

 

So what happens when you Resurrect? Like, the 'post resurrection day number one?'  (I laugh to myself).

For me, I took care of the tasks at hand. Up before dawn in time to make it to the airport. I was happy because my kitty there was sitting in the middle of the sidewalk. She saw my luggage, and I got to wish her good luck and say goodbye.  I did the tasks, flew back home, drove back home, remembered to put the anti-rat boxes under the hood, and paused to examine the dead small lizard in the driveway.

I slept. 

And in the morning, the first thing I saw in my mind's eye, before I woke up, was the face of my Kauai kitty, the feral mother to be. 

I am grateful for the connection.

Today in a word, I was discombobulated. It was hard to focus. I took a nap in the morning watching football. 

There's chores to do. I settled for unpacking, going over the mail, picking up my thyroid prescription, and getting Mexican takeout. 

The outside turtle had dug a huge deep pit underneath the peach tree. I filled it in with a shovel and lots of elbow grease. 

If I could give you an image, it's my Hawaii self pixellating away, and my new 'in the moment' self starting to come up on the screen. But instead of a two-dimensional screen, it's all my layers of self, the emotional body, the mental body, the etheric body, the akashic body, the physical body (which has a fever and cough), all of the layers...and it's Mercury Retrograde!

So I let go, and I allow. 

Aside from the rebuilding and letting go, I learned something very important about myself on this trip. I got homesick.  I used to think I wanted a lifestyle of being an invited speaker. I enjoy sharing and reaching out to groups. After over a week, I was ready for home. Hawaii is funny, it opens up for me, but then it's time to go home. On my last night I killed a cockroach in the bathroom. This was a nice resort! But I sensed it was time for me to leave. 

My friend Robin at the conference is seventy. You would never guess. She used to teach when I did my fellowship. Her specialty was outpatient surgery, eye cases, and she had a nice fluid warmer on her seat so she could be warm. She and her husband just retired. She said about social security is that you try to make it to sixty seven to start collecting it, but also, you hope you live to like, eighty four. Because any longer and you run out of money.  She and her husband were there. They are staying later because there's no work to return to. 

At the grocery store where my pharmacy is, I saw a woman hoarding infant formula. She said that hers was contaminated. And recalled. The clerk said she couldn't take more than a certain amount. But she said they were different kinds. She didn't seem like a mom. And I didn't know what she was using to pay for it. But what I did see was she bought only that. And as I exited the store, I saw her walking back in. She did not make eye contact. 

You don't see moms without kids. 

It was very odd. 

Times are strange, and spirit told me I am going to get a new bracelet. So I will listen to spirit now. Figure out what to make. 

And perhaps I will pixellate back even more...after that. 

Ross says to be gentle with yourself, and to be kind. These are difficult times. And he says to you, 'I love you'. Always to remember that.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Twins

Resurrection

 

Any moment, while we are alive, we can change. We choose. We select. And we start a new path. These are the ground rules for being human/incarnate.

Unfortunately, for a good many reasons, as humans incarnate we are not huge fans of such changes! Yes, we enjoy the 'rags to riches' story, or the 'lost tons of weight and got in shape' story for inspiration. But how about when it comes to our own lives?

My comfort zone, ever since I was little, as it is part of my nature and disposition as a cancerian moon-child, is to hold on to grudges and to avoid painful experiences.

For months now, years, perhaps, I have been on a path of deep soul cleansing. This is not a 'dark night of the soul' per se. It is quite the opposite. I have been examining my life story one chapter at a time, and deciding what to keep, and what to let go. 

For example, both of my marriages had some pretty terrible memories in Hawaii. So much so, I thought perhaps the island was cursed for me. 

In January/early February of last year, I went to a conference. But this conference happened to be walking distance from the hotel where my second marriage was officially over. The bad memories were so bad that I left a restaurant in tears in front of everyone. I had decided earlier during a luau in Lahaina that the devil I knew was better than the one I didn't, and I wanted the marriage to work. We had a good time there. But I can't explain it how things just totally fell apart. He decided we were through, he slept on the couch and I slept on the bed, and it was a long, quiet flight home. 

So that trip last year, I got up my courage, and walked to that hotel. It was hard. Emotionally. The place looked the same as it did twenty years earlier. But I sat, I reflected, I visited the gift shop and the spa store, and I deliberately made new happy memories. It was a beautiful hotel. 

This conference, was on the island where I had my honeymoon with my first husband. I reflected a lot on this trip, because I spent two nights in the same hotel--it's been rebuilt after a hurricane messed it up. I realized how happy I had been on my honeymoon--my husband had planned it, and he paid for it. It was my first ever trip to Hawaii and everything was exciting and new. I had a bad cold at first. But he was kind, we got along, and I experienced a happiness I had never dreamed possible.

When we came back home I was radiant.

But on this trip, I realized a pattern. I left my unhappy home at first by studying and going away to college. Then I escaped it by getting married. 

So many times in my life I repeated the same pattern over and over. I studied hard and went to medical school to escape the unhappy marriage. By then everything was my fault and the emotional abuse was severe. 

On our second trip to the island, my first husband and I went to attend the marriage of his long time childhood friend. But it was strange. He was marrying a Japanese woman. But for the rehearsal dinner, the groom sat apart with all his old childhood friends. I sat with strangers. My husband and I fought a lot. I clearly had never understood the concept of rupture and repair. That it is a normal skill for relationships. 

It turned out that the groom was dying of AIDS. He was homosexual. I am not sure if the Japanese spouse was true female and friend, or perhaps male presenting as female. Either way, she took very good care of him as he got sicker and sicker, and passed not much longer after the wedding. 

I decided on this trip I was going to marry 'me'--to celebrate how I've taken good care of myself and had a pretty good life on my own. I did a chocolate tour. I went on a nice botanical gardens tour. I spent a lot of time journaling after conference morning sessions. Then around four or five I would go to the water. 

I felt the feelings. 

I forgave myself for what I didn't know.

Ross guided me through some meditations. 

Right now it's still a powerful full moon, they call it the Beaver moon. With full moons we let things go.

Oddly enough, although I used to hate cats (not only am I highly allergic, my parents and later my sister chose cats over me. At least the sister apologized)...there are some feral ones around here. I made friends with a pregnant one on the property. I bought cat food for her, and Churu treats. For the past three nights I have fed her. And daily she got her treats. I didn't react when I touched her, usually I get big red blotchy welts immediately on my skin.  All those months of watching Donnie the Cat Whisperer have helped me to accept cats for what they are, without all my resentment, pain and confusion from the past attached.

In the water today, Ross asked me what the hardest thing about today was? Waking up wasn't easy. Some other things were little bit hard but still not super bad. But then I felt in my heart, to ask God to help me to let go of all my pain from my past. To let it go, all the resentment, the misunderstandings, the baggage...I asked to start each day as new. And to only deal with the matters at hand, based on trusting my eyes and common sense and ability to communicate. 

I am sixty-one years old. Some people might be able to breeze through these lessons, it might not faze them. But for me, with early childhood trauma, with being on the spectrum, and with being gifted...there are a lot of social cues I miss. But holding on to the past like a badge of courage is only hurting me. It's taking away my enjoyment of here and now.

I encourage you to deep clean your soul, no matter now long it takes, and to allow your soul to heal. When you get to the part where each day is a new day, and you are living in the moment, you are reborn.

You resurrect. 

You no longer are a 'zombie' where you feel dead inside and are overwhelmed. You thank yourself for getting you to this point, and you let go of the old which was weighing you down. 

It's a good thing!

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The couple

A Pattern

 

Probably the best thing I am useful for is recognizing patterns. 

I don't know why or how but it is. I remember being shown patterns of big, colored wooden beads by the school counselor (she had pulled me out of class for some tests and I wondered why a grown woman was playing with beads with a second-grader during school hours)...she was delighted, thrilled that I could repeat the bead sequences she showed me. They were ridiculously easy to string on the shoelace. 

But even now, when I logged in to my bank account, the code for the secondary confirmation/validation I was surprised at how I barely glanced at the code before it flashed away (the notification on my phone) and I was able to remember and get it right.

Yesterday was my last day at work at the Surgery Center, at least as full-time partner. I walked away from that for many reasons, the scariest of which is how little regard my partners had for the rules about our particular style of corporation with the IRS. But also, for wanting to be treated with more respect than to have them make me prove a simple bookkeeping mistake by our old billing company before I could be distributed my funds I had earned. 

I see a pattern in myself.

But first, a happy one. Yesterday the song 'Name' by the Goo Goo Dolls was playing on the radio in the bird room while I was getting him ready for the day. My bird listens to the oldies station to keep him company while I am at work. And when 'Name' was popular, I was in medical school. But it wasn't much longer that I got the bird (internship). I smiled inside because I'd rescued him long enough for 'my' music to make its way to the oldies station. When I'd first got him, it was sixties and seventies music on the playlist. 

Back to my pattern--I escape.

Yes.

My home life was terrible as a child, growing worse with the politics/persuasion of my one sister who basically 'ruled the roost'. I studied like crazy, got good grades, graduated and escaped to college. 

But when my marriage went bad, I repeated the same pattern, except this time it was for Medical School admission. 

Medical school, residency, and employment has been a total roller coaster. From 'the Match' where you end up going to wherever the computer in the sky tells you to complete your training...a lot of things are outside of your control. I chose to do a cardio thoracic fellowship. And moved away to San Diego to finish it. I came home on Wednesday nights to my second husband. Again, by then the marriage was bad and I chose my education  and job security over his madness, unhappiness, and entitlement to my doctor's wages. 

It was a huge shock to my system to be let go from my position at the University. I had anticipated staying there my whole career. But actually, Divine Creator had better plans. I met wonderful people, I had more access to vacation and travel, and I made way more money. 

The only downside was call. Starting the day and working sometimes twenty-four hours straight, including nights and holidays. I played the long game, I waited ten years for my boss to retire, a spot opened at the surgery center for full-time, and I jumped at the chance! I escaped call! Finally.

What happened there? I was honored to be given the chance to create our corporation (my retiring boss retired his instead of passing it on). It was gnarly working through the red tape of the ''system' to make it happen. And my colleagues had dysfunction. I realized again I was acting like the overachieving daughter in a dysfunctional family...which is my basic pattern.  

When I worked for a colleague back in the Main OR to give him some vacation coverage, my heart realized I missed my old staff I worked with. It was like vacation too, having electronic anesthesia records, well-stocked carts with some of the expensive drugs you need still there at arm's reach, and anesthesia technicians to help with the start and end of the cases. The medical complexity, the slower pace, and ability to eat instead of the rush, rush was like heaven. My son saw it when I came home I was happy. And I realized one colleague was toxic to me, at the surgery center, and the anesthesiologist running the group completely understood my distress and made work available to me so I could escape it.

It was very nice to have a goodbye yesterday. People said kind words. And there were two expensive cakes. One said, Good Luck and Thank You -- Anesthesia Department, the other said Reiki Healing and had a little red heart. I had done an FTE worth of work for no pay in creating the corporation, negotiating contracts, finding a billing company, etc. For the replacement for me they actually offered two percent of the group income to them (but not to me lol) the same as was charged by my old boss. Administrative fee, he called it. 

On the couch, during this overcast Saturday, I rested. It is like a fog has lifted. 

For me, I see the pattern leading to escape was that I didn't understand the skill/process of relationship rupture and repair. I couldn't even understand my own emotions, let alone someone else's. The concept of self-regulation, and co-regulation, was really new. But I see it now.

And I connected to Source. You see, with Outpatient Surgery, the pace is very fast, except when there are gaps in the schedule, and there's not much time to think. Slowing down today was nice. And Spirit asked me what I want now? In my heart of hearts?  We had reviewed my early childhood, getting to my babysitter's before my construction worker grandfather left for work--EARLY in the morning and eating breakfast together. I remember getting out of bed way early, driving over to their house...And grandfather coming home from work at the end of a long day. Those were on good days.

The not-so-good days were in preschool (I dropped out after three weeks) or other babysitter's houses. School was a haven compared to that. It was a haven even after my grandparents because back then I watched too much TV, there wasn't much activity for me. 

We went over every significant other I had, one I almost had, and why it was not meant to be. 

I asked for Ross, I said how much I need him. And what I request for this phase of my life is emotional safety. I have good physical safety now, I've worked hard for it and I am so grateful. I realized that Spiritual safety is a given and again I am highly appreciative for that.  I could see how our emotional bodies are bumping into one another, and misunderstandings crop up. 

That's why there's the photo I chose for this blog post. This is an example of how it was originally meant to be--when you are little there are healthy, safe adults to help raise you. 

What are your patterns? Do you have any? It takes a lot of life to life to begin to see them. And what I was told by Spirit is that once we advance with our lessons, we are able to move forward in life and enjoy it more. 

There is another pattern I noticed. My friend Lisa of Tarot background. She is ever evolving herself. Her latest photo shows LIGHT in her eyes, and her Spirit is strongest I've seen it in a long time. I smiled inwardly. Lisa has a need to understand. She goes through philosophical frameworks like the seasons of the year transform the surface of the Earth. And she talks about it! I am so grateful that she shares. 

For me, I accept. I even accept that some things are not able to be understood, they are felt/experienced, and that is that. I have no drive whatsoever to adjust my belief system. What Is, IS. The Universe and Divine Creator Created it. Both the seen and the unseen. I appreciate that. As a part of it, I let it be. Yes perhaps I grumble in traffic or I think perhaps it would be nice if certain elements were not influencing daily lives of all of us as much as they do...Yet I trust there is a Purpose, one I may or may not understand, at the moment, but perhaps in time I will, and even if I don't, things will work out for the best. That's the final endpoint. 

I have a little trouble with the whole Reiki being demonic thing. We have our senses and our intuition, and I know dark ones want to shut it off completely while amplifying their abilities in the spiritual realms. The 'system' works to separate us from our intuition/inner guidance. 

But Lisa, she takes on the religious--I remember her asking vegan Doreen V. where the pigs are that funds were raised to help? Lisa was ferreting out deceit. As a survivor of religious trauma these things are important to her. 

Today, though, I saw the pattern and I understood--Lisa is accessible. Her thought processes she shares are going to resonate with a lot of other people. And like a spark Lisa lights up the way. Always moving forward. 

Me, it's my grumbles that resonate with people. I tell it like it is. And that helps others to move forward too. 

I like it, our team.

There are others, they know who they are. I am watching and appreciating all they do too. 

Every single one of us is important.

But for now, the patterns are shared enough. It's time for lunch and to get on with the day.

Ross

Carla has been telling you for a while now that I have been quiet. She has been in one of her lessons for a long time, or so it seems to her. The recognitions of the patterns is a little painful, at least the ones she sees in herself.

I would like to add that for Carla, her astrological chart, has her 'happy happy' place through placements of when she is learning. 

There is a common theme in all of her 'escapes' and that is to 'learn', not just to 'learn and to grow' as an individual, but to commit to actual learning of a new skill. 

I would like to add that in addition to her new found 'forming an anesthesia corporation' skills, Carla has taken up the Hawaiian language on DuoLingo, and her streak now is over nine hundred and fifty days. Again these are patterns and it brings great comfort to her to acquire new abilities. She also finally met the challenge of learning how to cook Mexican style pinto beans with the dried beans. It is a life-saving and economically valuable skill. It took several tries to get it right. 

I also would like to share of Carla's courage and dedication on behalf of those in her care. Not the medical care. The family care, which, at one time, included me in our past life.  Carla spent all afternoon looking for her backyard turtle. This was after her triumphant last day at work. Every afternoon she comes home and enjoys spending time in the back yard. But no matter where she looked, there was no turtle. Turtles can get stuck, and need to be freed. For example a turtle who is flipped on its back is in a terrible position! Someone needs to right it or it will die. Five times she circled the yard. There are holes from the squirrels and the gophers. The biggest one is plugged up with a bag of heavy sand. The new one at the roots of a tree, she found a stick and measured the depth, it did not go through very far. She looked over the fence for signs of turtle escapement. 

On one of her rounds, near the rosemary bush, which is five years overgrown--she saw a scoot mark in the dirt that looked like a turtle had made it. But usually, the turtle goes at night to the same place. But late in the day, it hadn't made it. So even though she had lifted the branches of the rosemary bush many times, she looked deeper, and found the turtle wedged deep asleep next to the fence underneath. 

To make sure it could get out, she trimmed the lower branches. It took five trips to the green waste bin and totally filled it. You could always see the turtle and you know it will not happen again. 

All's well that ends well!

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

Welcoming Change

 

There is something about the human condition that finds comfort in what is known and continues to be experienced. We call it 'tradition'.

But as a school, not much learning can take place when everything remains the same.

Change is in the air! Not just with the autumn leaves and bright colors...Spiritual change is afoot. Why not step back and allow the changes to present themselves to you? People can change. Opportunities can change. Allow yourself the 'wiggle room' knowing you are free to 'take the best and leave the rest'.

If we do not let go of what is in our hands, we will not be able to accept the newer, better things our Divine Creator has in store for us. 

We do not promote going ascetic and giving everything up! But when you get that little 'nudge' go ahead and look into it a little more--that 'nudge' of 'change' might me a 'chance' for something even better and new!

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

Tales From The End of the Road: The Descent into Spiritual Darkness

 

Screening patients for the presence of heart disease prior to surgery is a difficult task. The reason is that the onset of cardiac illness is insidious. The patient slowly, gradually changes their activity level without realizing what is happening. The classic question to ask is 'can you climb two flights of stairs without having to stop and catch your breath?'

Lots of people do not have stairs or need to climb them. 

One of the questions I found more helpful is to ask if the patient can carry the groceries from the car to the house unassisted. When people say, 'oh no! I need help for that.' I have found the information I need. And I make adjustments to the anesthesia plan.

When I see, I see with both Spirit eyes, and my regular eyes. 

I've heard things about the largest city in my area. I've seen YouTube videos, documenting homelessness and tent encampments. I've heard of the human waste on sidewalks, the rampant drug use, and the poor shop owners who frantically clean up the mess every morning before opening for business. 

I also have felt a vague avoidance to the area. I chalked it up to 'traffic'. For several years now, I avoid that airport like the plague. If there are any other flights, even not direct, I will purchase them. 

Yesterday I experienced how low the energy is in the area. 

I won't elaborate.

But the navigation in the car took me through some pretty challenged areas. Low income. Struggling. Areas that didn't assimilate. Tent cities. Brazen people crossing the streets wherever and whenever they pleased, with me avoiding making eye contact and hoping they did not come near my car.

I kept hoping it would get better but it never did. 

I remembered how poorly I have been sleeping. I thought about how my patients need me at my best. What was I doing staying up late so far from home?  I was in no shape to socialize--I had been crying all weekend over missing my mom, even so bad that I went to McDonald's to remember her 'home cooking'. 

I called my sisters.

When you hit such a low you lean on family. 

I turned around and went home.

Every sign to my intuition was saying no, not here, not now, no...and I listened. 

My friend Alexandra Meadors, years ago, had gone with Kunda Ra (more later) at his invitation to Los Angeles to do 'spiritual work'. Except it was a trick. Instead of trapping dark spirits a huge portal had opened up and all kinds of awful energies were unleashed to the area. 

Those darknesses have been active, a you can see the fruits they have produced over the years. 

It is so sad.

Watch for the fruit.

The changes are happening around us without our realizing it. 

Stay connected to Source. Do not let others extinguish your Light. 

Know you are making a difference. 

Pray for conversion of the darkness to the ways of Heaven.

Remember back home the streets are paved in gold and have no name. 

Ross

The weekend was productive and somewhat challenging for Carla. The pressure at work is strong, only two weeks to go before returning back to the hospital. Carla is facing her goodbyes to people who have meant so much to her for the last fifteen years. In her heart she knew with Anthony growing up she needed to surround herself every day with people who loved and cared about her and him. And she wanted to continue the back and forth between the hospital and the surgery center. 

That was not to be. So BACK to the longer days, the nights, the call, the weekends, the holidays (but not first call true overnight). 

For half time.

Carla needs a rest.

She wants her mother because life for her is challenging, both personally and financially. And also with her energy. Every time she works out something gets sore and she has to rest. 

But slowly, steadily, things are healing in her heart and soul, and this is reflected with the back yard looking better than it has in ages, with tiny areas of the home becoming more organized and clean, and with maybe even trying to decorate somewhat for the seasons. 

For many years Carla put her life on hold in order to be of service to her family and to her spiritual family...and also, in the hopes of 'some sudden change on Earth for the BETTER'.  She started in 2010 in earnest. 

Only everything around her has been steadily going 'downhill' in a socio-political-spiritual  kind of way in the 'world'.

That kind of patience is hard to find, the hoping for the best. I know. I've been incarnate, and I appreciate the effort. 

Do what you do, with the hopes of living a long life unfettered by 'what is' in the outside world,  and at the same time, with your eyes set on Heaven and the readiness to accept 'sudden changes' in either direction as indication of 'movement' and ultimately 'movement' is a sign of progress in reaching our mutual goal.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

You Can't Tell By Looking

 

This is for extra credit.

If you are living your life to the best of your abilities, and embodying love in every interaction, you are doing fine.

It's time to talk about the double-messages that are encoded in every piece of entertainment there is out there commercially. For every plot in a story, along with it, and overlaying it, is a hidden, or 'occult' message that only those in the System can understand. 

Sometimes just for fun I try to see if I can get the message that is meant to be hidden. I have followed Jessie Czebotar for years. She is one of the plainest looking people you could ever see, no tattoos, not much makeup, someone easy to lose in a crowd. She always has really good posture and control over her emotions/reactions.  By birth and age four, she was selected and trained to run the entire business of what she calls The System.  She had to live with her grandmother--who currently had the position--again, a very simple and hard to pick out woman --and one day she would succeed her. Training was all the time. Even when Jessie went to school, she was taken out of school (the System covers for such things) and sent to more training. By age nine she was ready to do the work, her training was complete. 

But she left.

And if you had to find an actress who looked like her, it would be the girl in Escape to Witch Mountain. Very similar with freckles and petite.

Why do I even bring this up at all?

Last night I finished the second part of a fascinating biography about a certain actor that is on Netflix. He was popular in the 1990's and has been in and out of rehab multiple times. I myself was surprised to learn that he has HIV. It isn't surprising, considering the lifestyle. But it is still sad.

Many times in public in the past he dropped hints, 'I am a warlock'  is the first that comes to mind. 

I don't think he was lying. 

There was even an episode on his TV show where a cute girl lured him into being a human sacrifice, but his mother ended up being the one to do the sacrifice and she untied him from the restraints and yelled at the girls. She outranked them.

In Los Angeles the leader of that portion of The System usually has a little more noticeability. The secret isn't as well-kept. I had heard rumors about a certain comedian who was in that role and he was the one who demanded Travolta do his sacrifice. This guy's roles were with him playing very dumb! I never would have guessed it.  There is a book Jessie recommended, I read it, about a woman who was actually a Bride of Satan and converted to Christianity. The stories from her about the parties in L.A. are eye-opening. The actor who was the subject of the documentary not only was on top of the popularity/hireability/succeess in Hollywood...chances are he had some ties to the system too.

And in the system, you must guard your posture (composure) and keep secrets--which this actor was not. He was doing drugs. Lots of them. All the time. The System will only cover you for so much, to hide your 'sins'.  He was pushing the limits.

Have you ever heard of the pop music term a 'one hit wonder'? There are a lot of them, actually. One song makes it to the top and then you never hear from that band again. 

Why is that so?

Rumors have it that the artist or band was invited to join the System, and they did not agree to the terms, so that was the end of the fame. Off to concerts at shopping malls and summer fairs and that's it.

In the documentary, they marveled at how psychologically, this actor would get success, incredible success, and then throw it all away and self-destruct. 

Maybe there's deeper psychological significance that I am not qualified to identify. But deep in my gut, if you are a good person, and you get something by unfair means, it is going to eat at you. Somehow you are going to react to it. And to me that's another thing, a pattern, pointing to what the self-declarations are true.

Then there is a stretchy truth: when confronted directly, did you have sex with a young actor against his will back in the day? Well, that actor is dead now. And the documentary actor said, 'no, that's a lie'. I tend to believe victims over alleged perpetrators. But again, earlier in the documentary, he admitted to having sex with men, he wouldn't change it, and it was the crack cocaine that brought that urge out in him.  Maybe someone under the influence wouldn't remember or even worse would assume it was consensual. 

To me, the hidden occult message is that your circle will cover you up to a point, then they will not. And the good friend from sports who was 'always there' may have also been in the role of the 'protector' as Jessie had hers in The System. He was a good guy, I liked him. But again these circles have people paired up with protectors. 

You never know.

Sooner or later all of the secrets will come out into the open. But until then, I look for the hidden signs. It helps to pass the time.

You might enjoy this pastime too. 

Ross

Remember this is an entirely optional exercise. And in the end all that is hidden will not only be exposed by Creator, but will always be under the control of what is Divine. As in Heaven, and angels, and very good things. Life is going to get better. You may always trust in this.

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Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

Tales from the End of the Road: Adapt

 

It has been a very strange week. There is a government shutdown here in the United States. At work people were concerned because there is a free Air Show in Huntington Beach this weekend. The military planes will not fly in it. Some other groups, like the Canadian Snowbirds, will perform. 

Then there are the ostriches who are in Canada that are going to be culled. Four hundred of them. I imagine they are worth a lot of money, it is the whole life's work for the ranchers who own them. All because they caught a flu and got over the flu. These aren't even meat ostriches they are research ones I am told. 

Football is well underway, it is week three of the season. 

For me, I had the excitement to see a hawk sleeping overnight in one of our backyard trees. I also was excited to see a praying mantis near the front door. Our apples are ripening on the tree. When I was in the inflatable jacuzzi the minute the sun went down, I saw a rat moving along the bottom of the fence and into a freshly refilled bait box. 

My son is funny he calls evening when all the neighbors walk their dogs 'dog o'clock'. We never officially called it that in the back yard, but our time enjoying the back yard goes away at 'rat o'clock'. The pest control guy said that the numbers have gone up and down over the season and I noticed myself a lot less rat 'evidence' around. I am grateful for that.

At work I am in an evolution of change. It is so strange. I got my dream job--no nights, no holidays, no weekends...but it soured. You need good people to do business with, ones who are on the same wavelength as you. Here, my group was not, and they talked and made decisions behind my back. I was uncomfortable with that. But when the handling of group funds was not on the up and up, due to one delay after another, I had to get out. I had to get into a situation where  there was enough work and enough consistency to keep things going on the home front. Now I am looking at taking call and working holidays and weekends. It's not as bad as it sounds. You are with people you know. And for an empty nester it gives you something to do.

The point of this is two fold:  the Creator wants you on a path of constant growth and change, and this growth and change feels easier if you look deep within and follow your heart. 

I have only two more weeks to go at my current position, and it is feeling better every day. An OB Gyn came up to me and asked, incredulously, 'what are you doing??? it is CRAZY over there at the hospital!'

No.

Doing seven cases in a row at breakneck speed without any time for food is crazy. Treating a patient's blood pressure over 200 in the recovery room while being rushed to take the next case in, who is a 'known difficult intubation' is unsafe. I needed time to talk with the husband (who I have done anesthesia for twice) who didn't want to take his elderly wife home because she was in a lot of pain. I had mentioned to the team she probably was a better candidate for inpatient/hospital surgery instead of outpatient, but the patient had agreed to just get it done today. 

The hours are long in the hospital. But I can eat. And I can do what it safe. With just one phone call a patient can stay overnight for pain control if needed. It is the real thing. Being stressed to almost having chest pain because of the whims of a surgeon who owns part of the surgery center is not worth it. I will miss my friends for sure, and also my afternoons. But I need to keep us going financially and it is not going to happen if I stay put.

A lot of the change is due to Anthony. He saw me come home from the hospital happy this summer when I gave vacation coverage. It had felt like vacation being there. He encouraged me to ask for my old job back. 

Sometimes our loved ones can recognize what we ourselves can't.

It's time to go start my day. Enjoy the season. Remember to do your Reiki and to connect with Source/Creator every day.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

Tales from the End of the Road: Inner Enlightenment

 

Today was a day where things started coming together in my mind. I do a lot of thinking when I am on the road.

I am not sure if I told you, but I follow the Burned Haystack dating method, where a rhetoric professor teaches us how to recognize toxic patterns and to protect ourselves by blocking those who are toxic. Even though this applies to dating specifically, I find it is advantageous in other parts of like such as work.

I got the sneaking feeling that my life situation was simply ahead of its time: single mom, no real support from the father.

I liked to think it was because of my attachment style and my past traumas I had tried so hard to heal. 

It is dawning on me that all of this is deliberate, organized, slowly executed social shifts to lead us to one of the main points of Agenda 2030--elimination of the family unit and children are raised by the government. 

There is a reason that men act the way they do when it comes to women--generations of single moms and exposure to all kinds of vices--make the Peter Pan syndrome a real experience for many people.  I heard of a fifty-seven year old who was just now 'emotionally ready' to find a younger wife and start a family. Fifty seven! That's grandpa age!

On the drive home I looked at myself--with all my education selling myself short and not embodying the Divine Feminine to the best of my ability. I pay it lip service. But one-on-one all the old tapes start playing and I just cave in. 

That is also by design.

So, we females carry the medicine to heal our social woes--the ability to honor our Divine Feminine nature in every single social and work and family interaction that we have. And if our intuition and 'gut' are not standing up, and the old fawning habits kick in--STOP! Reflect. Take a moment to readjust yourself...and move along with honor to your soul. 

There has been a sophisticated assault on the Divine Feminine on a Feminine planet! It continues...so remember to fight 'fire' with 'your own Divine Flame Essence' be it masculine or feminine--let that be your gift to yourself and others...in all things!

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Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

P.S. Ross is saying 'yoo-hoo! Yoo-Hoo! YOO-HOO!!!

That reminds me of when the Dementia hit my grandmother, she couldn't remember who our family was, and to get our attention this sweet polite Italian woman would yell that Yoo-Hoo! to get what she needed.

Tales from the End of the Road: My Mom's Greatest Advice

This is knowledge. 

The same drive for us to learn and explore, is the same longing for 'being like God' by Eve in the Garden of Eden. 

What is the most sophisticated and heavily used weapon of our time?

Chances are you are on it now, and was able to access this, through it. Yes, that's correct. It's social media.

Knowledge and Information is weaponized, sadly, against us. 

I know I took the bait when I was upset over four hundred ostriches' fate in Canada. I got pretty worked up over it.

But you see, as long as I am focused on what is happening to the ostriches THERE, I am technically not present HERE in my sphere of influence in the real world. In cyberspace I am by no means an influencer. But I do what I can to shore up the 'Celestial' end of the battle for our Home and our spiritual family.

It is time to embrace Wisdom. 

When we are working with our minds and hearts in synchrony, we are allowing Wisdom to arrive at it's own pace, at its own time.

Sometimes wisdom comes from making mistakes and learning not to do that again.

So what was my mother's wisdom?

She survived a world war as a child. Her advice:  don't be a hero. Blend in in order to survive. You can survive it. Just don't call attention to yourselves. And, furthermore, what good are you to the cause if you are dead or imprisoned? 
 

Reject the need to argue one side or convince others on the internet. Many are simply bots, not even human, but computer, who do these posts. 

Remember that the more polarized we are with our beliefs, the easier humanity is to control. Divine and Conquer. That one is right up there with 'Problem-Reacton-Solution'. 

Enjoy and nourish your soul through your Spiritual Life. Let your beliefs guide and console you in these difficult times. Even though there had been a marked split in the reaction to the death of a certain speaker CK, be cautious with your online activity. The internet is forever and you do not want to be placed into a 'bin' based on your political posts on social media. 

Lie low.

Everything is being monitored. Not to be paranoid, but to acknowledge the technical ramifications of our actions in these times.

Everything is going to happen for the best. Just always remember to put your thinking cap on, and use it!

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Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Cousins

Tales From the End of the Road: The White Market

 

As the Digital ID plays itself out, I would like to take a moment to share about my newest member of the family, a California Desert Turtle named Lois. Lois belonged with my first friend I ever had, a neighbor growing up down the street, for over thirty years. But now that she is retired, she is having a new house built and relocating to the Hill Country in Texas. 

Apparently turtles like this are against the law outside of the state of California. And, if she needed to take the turtle to the vet, it would be awkward.

So, she thought about it, and thought about who might be a good fit to adopt her baby. She asked, and I joyfully accepted.

Her sister, who lives not far from me, apparently had been watching Lois until the house was built, so Lois never left the area. Both of them came with the heavy modified doghouse, and brought a week's worth of food. 

This is an example of the White Market. 

Unlike the Black Market which has been around since time began, for the detriment of human society, the White Market has gone by many names...donations, charity, sharing, community assistance...and you might not think about it.

The White Market (barter) was around long long before currency.

It's coming back into importance as the times and current events march onward to their eventual conclusion. 

That is enough for today.

Ross

Pray.

Allow yourself to be guided by the Holy Spirit, by your Conscience, by your connection of Soul to the Eternal Source.

That will nourish you as well. In important ways.

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Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Twins

Tales from the End of the Road: Never say Never

 

Good morning! It is cloudy here, and overcast. 

Yesterday was a big day, if you are 'on' to the 'numbers game' in the UK. There was the big announcement.  It did not surprise me.

Why? Because something funny was going on when I got my new phone. You know how you transfer your apps to it, and you have to log in? Well, certain apps almost didn't let me without 'proper authentication' (polite cough). Now I have to log in from emails or other devices to prove that I 'am really me'. It was scary to see how fast my years of work online could disappear all for not being able to log in. 

My dear cousin, who has passed, was a stuntman. And he called it FANG--Facebook, Amazon, Netflix and Google--were tied in with the government in making the plots for movies. It wasn't just 'creative' any more, or even 'money motivated' to make a winner. He still loved the action and the work, and he read the Bible every day, but he saw and he knew a lot about the business. 

Facebook was the hardest for me to log in. If I hadn't had it on my computer I would be locked out. Amazon was easy it just transferred right over. Netflix isn't on my phone. And Google? I use it same.

I prayed this morning while I did my Bible study. I was worried about the times and the signs of the times. Even if this ushers in a short time and then we get to the 'good stuff' of 'Heaven', doesn't God know we get PTSD and trauma? I have the best Bible and I actually color in it. Coloring soothes me. And the chapter was Exodus 39. It spells out the outfit and the breast plate of a priest. Moses had to tell the people what God told him about how to make it, and then they made it for Aaron to wear, and Moses approved it. 

The people (if I dare call them that) who are holding the power and running the world still believe in Moses and the Temple. Right now there are priests who are trained in the sacrifices at the altar with the red blemish-free bulls. This goes way back. 

I also realized if Kerth Barker could endure the horrific things he endured with the people (if I dare call them that) who were deep into the 'ways of the (polite cough) light' then I can put one foot in front of me and get through my days with my easier life circumstances. 

Then when I sat down and was looking through the photo choices for this, I realized, we already have an identification as a soul:  our soul frequency, our energy signature! That's frequency and vibration--numbers--too! Energy signature decides where you get to go in Heaven, like a badge here on Earth--you know, how some areas need special clearance? We each have our own unique frequency, and this is what I connect with when I talk to someone who has made the Transition and is On The Other Side. 

I do not think anything can destroy our energy signature.

But the anger at the presence of it, and the special clearance it signifies apparently has angered approximately one third of the angels who once were in Heaven and fell. No wonder why there is a push for a twisted parallel at this time, to restrict and deny innocent others under their domain (humans). 

I might not be able to change anything. But I can sure call them out on it. And I can pray. 

Well what about your love, your inside connection, you may ask? It's quiet. My father was a teacher, I knew that the teacher's edition in the textbooks existed, but my school district and curriculum were completely different. I never got the answers. Not like my friends accused me of. I just learned and understood what was on the test. 

It's the same here. I have loving support and my significant other helps me when I get overwhelm with fear. The rest is all observation and introspection and luck.

Do not be afraid. 

Somehow things are going to work out.

Trust in the plan.

And as Ross says now, 'enjoy the show!'

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Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Twins